FrickityFRICKFRICK: I Know IM Forgetting SOMETHING

Danny and Maddie spend the whole series hiding Vlad's true nature from Jack because they think he won't be able to handle the truth, a theory supported by the obsequious love Jack shows for him the entire series. But it turns out they, much like Vlad (and everyone else), underestimate his capabilities and get caught completely off-guard.

Rowling has been transparent about her desire to keep assisting people in their efforts to rob transgender people of their dignity and human rights. That seems very much to be the entire point of The J.K. Rowling Women’s Fund — an organization Rowling launched in 2025 that claims to be “fighting to retain women’s and girls’ sex-based rights in all aspects of life.” The Fund offers financial support provided by Rowling to cisgender women who are looking to file lawsuits. The Fund’s website makes no mention of gender as a concept, but it explicitly points to the For Women Scotland case as the kind of “victory” that it wants to see more of in the world.

Rowling has been rich enough to pour cash into organizations like this for some time now because she continues to hold primary intellectual property rights to the entire Harry Potter franchise. Every Harry Potter book, movie, video game, stage show ticket, theme park pass, and piece of merchandise that’s sold puts money into Rowling’s pocket, which she can use to keep her crusade against trans people going. Given the property’s lasting popularity, Rowling, who is currently worth about $1.2 billion, could probably do all of this even if HBO wasn’t producing a new Harry Potter series. But because the network is and it wants to keep the show going for at least a decade, Rowling will have even more capital at her disposal to impose her retrograde views onto others.

This Ring quest will have two hobbits. Maximum.

Then they all get to Rivendell and have somehow multiplied into four hobbits. And it's like. Okay. Maybe the others are right.

Maybe this is too many hobbits.

We have as many hobbits as we have not-hobbits.

But damn it, you just don't want to get rid of any of these hobbits. Screw it! Everyone can deal. Four hobbits. This is a four hobbits problem.

So away you go.

And things go bad in the worst possible way.

Over and over.

You've lost your hobbits. You've lost yourself. The fellowship has been separated.

It takes everything in your power to help the humans defend themselves, bringing them together to save Rohan. Finally, as things begin to look upright, you're ready to face the war with everything the Rohirrim have left.

You're ready to face him. This may be the hardest battle you've ever fought. But you ride.

Then you get there and two of your fucking hobbits are sitting there like "Yeah, while you were gone, we raised a tree army and beat Saruman's ass. Wanna help us loot his tower?"

....

There were not, in fact, too many hobbits.

Nightwing: Good news! They didn't summon whatever they were after! Bad news! They still summoned someone! Good news again! They aren't freaking-

Danny: Oh my god Ive been Isekaid! Noooooo!

Nightwing: Scratch that- they're freaking out!

Danny: ohancientsohancientsohancients truck-kun why have you forsaken me! Ohkay Danny, you can do this- You just need to remember that last thing you played or read! This place looks modern so definitely not my history book-thank ancients-but ugh please don't be COD, im too pretty for war! Maybe its Pokemon? I could deal with Pokemon! Find a-a Phantump, we could be besties-

Robin: Will someone get down there and shut him up?

Spoiler: If we can't send him back home, can we keep him? He's funny.

Red Robin: He sounds like hes going to have a panic attack!

Batman: Just go down there and help him.

Bat & Birds: *slowly approaching*

That's the first thought that registers in Dick's mind once they reach the warehouse. The summoning circle is already glowing brightly, the flames in the lit candles brightening and elongating themselves far past what is normal. The occultists that have gathered obviously seem pleased with themselves at least until something seems to start going wrong.

The flames flicker and the circle takes on a sickly glow, the celebratory grins and cheering die off, and then everything goes dark.

A scream cuts through the air, inhuman and yet unlike any animal that Dick knows of. One by one the candles relight themselves with green flames and the circle is gone entirely now, replaced by a swirling green vortex. Dick can hear Jason almost choke across the comms, and knows that they're both thinking the same look. "Ok uh- Good news? They didn't summon the thing they wanted to summon." He ignores the scoff from Damian and the 'no duh captain obvious' from Spoiler because they have much much bigger problems to focus on.

Like the fact that something is clearly pulling itself out of the vortex in the ground. Something with massive radiation green hands that grip the edge where concrete meets apparent portal, a long seemingly never ending body made of nothing but writhing black mass, and a head the same green as the hands with two eyes like deadlights staring out at the occultists. The occultists who have shrunk back in terror from what they've managed to summon.

"Who- Where- What have you done?"

The being's voice is distorted, crackles as if coming through an old radio. One of the occultists, a leader perhaps, attempts to speak to the being but they don't get far.

"We- We... I apologize spirit! We were attempting to commune with-"

The being slams a hand down on the ground hard enough to shake the entire building. "How annoying. Begone." It waves his hand and the warehouse is empty. That's... not good.

"Bad news! Clearly they have summoned something they can't control." Dick really doesn't like how quickly this whole situation has gone belly up. "Should we call Constantine? Zatanna maybe?"

He doesn't get a response from the others before the being starts to shrink down, shape warping and changing until a relatively normal looking man stands in the middle of the warehouse. Average height and build, white hair that defies gravity to float around his head, pointed ears and a blue tinge to his skin. "Jeez this is bad... I don't even think I know where I am- UGH! This blows!" The man- spirit- being? kicks at the ground and leaves a dent in the concrete next to the scratch marks left behind from his claws. "What am I gonna do? I can't get back on my own and I don't know where I am and-"

Oh boy. "Uh more bad news, he looks like he's freaking out." Dick doesn't really know what to do here. Is it standard victim protocol? Containment? "Any advice on next steps?"

"Don't let him freak out maybe?" Sound advice from Oracle, amazing really. "I haven't been able to see anything since the summoning started so you're on your own."

Shit.

"Nightwing, get down there and assist the civilian."

Civilian? Ok, guess they're treating this like the usual victim protocol. Wait- "Why do I have to go down and assist? Shouldn't we send Hood, he's got the All Blades!"

Not his finest moment, arguing over who helps a person clearly on their way to a full blown panic attack but he also still remembers that with just a word the thing disappeared a bunch of occultists. "Yeah well you're more civilian friendly than me so..."

Dick sighed and leaped down from one of the windows to land not far from the person, that's what he's settling on, hoping to get his attention from afar. Of course, he's still rambling on in a panic so it takes a minute. "I can't believe Clockwork would let me get isekaid without telling me! I don't even remember what I was reading or doing last, this is so unfair and I just wanna go home!"

"Maybe we can help with that?"

The person stops suddenly in his ranting and looks up at Nightwing, yes up because apparently he's taller than him, and his jaw just kinda....drops. "Nightwing?" He squeaks out and oh is that like actual stars in his eyes? "I'm in the DCU? Oh nevermind. Best birthday present ever. Thank you Clockwork!"

AKA "Danny Fenton accidentally hits the Joker with the GAV during a livestream. It quickly becomes a Gotham meme." DCxDP prompt! TW: Brief description of vehicular assault.

Pro tip: Don't drive while on the phone. You could hit somebody.

Okay, so Danny does ghost-hunting livestreams (endorsed by FentonWorks) and tours the most haunted cities in America. Gotham happens to be in the Top 10 Cursed Cities of America, featured by youtubers like Buzzfeed Unsolved and Netflix true crime documentaries. Danny just... capitalizes on that a bit. He needs to make money, okay?? His "ghost hunting" is mostly debunking supposedly haunted places, doing side quests for ghosts with unfinished business, and interviewing interesting people.

Anyways. Gotham City is confusing. The streets make no sense, half of the city is blocked off due to the latest Rogue attacks, and he's pretty sure he saw an ambulance smash through a barricade with zero hesitation followed by several cop cars. Danny's livestream chat is blowing up, begging to see what just happened, and he's fumbling with the dashboard phone holder when several groups of people in clown masks start swarming the street. They're surrounding the truck, actually shooting at him, a couple swinging baseball bats and crowbars. He takes his eyes off the road for one second just to check whether the GAV has its shield deployed.

One second is all it takes. He feels more than hears the thunk of something particularly human-shaped hitting his front bumper. And his stomach drops. Heart-stopping panic grips him and all he can do is grip the steering wheel and drive forward. He can vaguely hear shouts all around the GAV but shock blurs everything together until he's frantically driving away. He somehow ends up in a quiet one-way street that looks half-abandoned. His livestream comments are a mess of what just happened?? and r u okay?? and, notably: WAS THAT THE FUCKING JOKER?!

As Gotham finds out, Daniel J Fenton did, in fact, commit a hit and run on the Joker. The GCPD dismissed a vehicular assault charge as the livestream showed Danny being shot at during the time of the assault; judges would absolutely categorize the case as self-defense. The Joker unfortunately didn't die. Also unfortunately, screenshots of the livestream got leaked and now Danny's absurdly baffled and horrified expression post-hitting the Joker is trending on Gotham News.

A new trend of "Get Ready With Me to Hit The Joker With My Car" circulates, much to Danny's utter horror and mortification. Gothamites adore Danny. There's something hilariously ironic and slightly endearing about some out-of-towner hitting the only person in Gotham that everybody agrees should be dead with their car. Unintentionally, too. Even the Bats begrudgingly can't even be mad about it. The situation for the kid was clearly traumatizing and horrific.

Joker initially vows revenge on Danny for humiliating him and proceeds to put himself in situations where Danny is inevitably going to run him over.

He tries ramming the GAV with a 18 wheeler? Squish goes the clown.

He tries to sneak around the GAV to sneak attack Danny? Well, Danny can’t see him so when he starts the vehicle, squish.

Joker decides to take a break from attacking Danny to do something calming, like threatening to shoot up a gala.

Just as he’s getting to the crux of his evil monologue, there is a distant rumbling and before he can react, bam! The GAV busts through a wall, Kool-Aid Man style and rolls to a stop right on top of Joker.

Everyone is frozen for a moment before attention drifts to Danny.

Who wasn’t in the GAV.

And had been at the party the whole time.

…

So, Pariah Dark wakes up. He and Danny fight. Danny wins, becomes Ghost King, yadda yadda.

But in this AU Pariah's core gets destroyed because that's the only way Danny can defeat him without a bunch of people dying (angst potential).

Anyway, that means that he was never put back into the sarcophagus of Forever Sleep. So it's just... Hanging around inside the castle that Danny now has.

So one day Danny comes across it, and doesn't know what it is. He thinks it's just a fancy coffin. And since it's a coffin and he's dead, he thinks it would be funny to have a nap in the coffin (He's very tired with all the king stuff plus school).

So he takes a nap in the sarcophagus, and has the best sleep of his unlife. And since it's not locked once he wakes up he just gets out of it.

Needless to say overtime Danny takes a lot of naps in the sarcophagus.

One day it gets summoned by cultists or some rough or whatever. And the Batfam/Justice League/Teen Titins (doesn't matter which as long as Damian is there) are there to try and stop them from waking up the ghost king form his Forever Sleep and dooming the world, cause the think Pariah is still the king.

And in the middle of the fighting the sarcophagus opens not to reveal a scary and powerful tyrant king. But rather to reveal a teenage boy with bed head, space themed pjs and a stuffed rocketship pillow.

Danny: Huh? Oh, yeah! They were all donated to me by some of my subjects after my coronation.

Damian: You sit on a throne... Of charitably donated bones?

Danny: Yeah? Where else would I get a bunch of bones?

Damian: The cliche is usually a throne made out of the bones of one's enemies, is it not?

Danny:

please have these