oh Bother

mister mayor my late night train has once again gone needlessly express and I am furious with you

literally going to take me an entire extra 45 minutes to go home pound piss sir thank u for ur service truly glad you’re on minoxidil

I need to go rub one out. *goes to my secret chamber where the walls are covered in tally marks and I erase one mark* *it is unclear what happens when they run out*

I have GOT to stop spending $30

(To the tune of Rasputin): BLEH BLEH DRACULA, KING OF TRANSYLVANIA, HE IS A BAT AND ALSO A MAN

someone’s not having a good Kia Summer Sales Event

world heritage post

some of the best characters are the ones where you know if they sat down and discussed ghosts the conversation would end with them attacking each other with furniture

pulling yourself up by your strap-on or whatever they say

I would ask people not to babygirlify Christian Esotericist Pico Della Mirandola but lets be honest here I would make her bark

Who said that

But when I say the “wholesome and funny” YouTube short I have been handed of students surprise showing their teachers 10+ year old photos of themselves and most them were emo/goth in some way and every single one now has medium brown beach waves and is wearing head to toe beige and immediately screams and hides the photo like it’s the most embarrassing thing in the world is a hallmark of a deeply insidious tendency to associate socially acceptable WASPy aesthetics with maturity and responsibility and perpetuates the idea that everyone grows up, “gets right” and becomes the most digestible unobtrusive heterosexual I’m “taking it too seriously”

“It’s not that serious” oh but it issssss because every day we perpetuate the idea that non-conformity of any kind to the white straight middle class standard is inherently immature and gets “left behind” when someone becomes a socially acceptable adult

This idea that maturity is conformity is everywhereeee if you look for even a moment