motherfucker i'll be back from the dead soon

no please dont force me to make any decisions i’ll die

Looks down and smiles lovingly at my boobs

Looks up and smiles smilingly at your boobs

Looks at the cave wall and smiles allegorically at the shadow of your boobs

*Looks behind me* who goes there

*breasts boobily just out of frame*

been working on unlearning male defaultism in the ways I speak to people and I've replaces "guys" with "crew". and you know what? it's SO fun. addressing the readers of my posts with a "kia ora crew!" and saying farewell to my friends with a "bye crew!!" is so delightful. everyone should adopt a fun way to address people. peace and love

staring at the dessert menu and twirling my hair and going "should I be baaaaddd" until the autistic girl I'm eating with says "there is nothing bad about eating dessert. it is a morally neutral action"

when u see a mutual u haven't seen in ages in ur notifs like omg I've pleased you again never leave me

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

they love me because I be saying shit like alas and perchance

last night I said 'how fortuitous' unironically

Use your PTO

The joys of just opening a window

sorry i cant talk rn im busy thinking about how i should have done everything differently

childaborting hips