Just finished Parade of Horribles, and i have Thoughts
Spoilers under the read more
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

#extradirty
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@hobbitnarwhal
Just finished Parade of Horribles, and i have Thoughts
Spoilers under the read more

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the vengeance of the daughter
βIf we get to the point where we donβt help each other anymore, thatβs when we stop being human.β
-Matt Dinniman, Dungeon Crawler Carl
It would be kind of fun to have a medical dramamedy show where people (patients and people in the medical field) could submit their craziest experiences with the medical system and those plotlines and patient stories could be dramatized and woven into a cohesive narrative with any additional profits from the show going to pay off medical debt.
Plotline A: Patient is suffering from a near fatal case of hypothermia after passing out in the snow drunk and laying there all night until his 13 year old nephew discovered him in the morning, said 13 year old managed to transport his druncle to the hospital on a snowmobile but the rest of the family cannot make it there due to road conditions.
Plotline B: A live rat fell through the ceiling halfway through an emergency appendectomy, causing the surgeon to startle and rupture the patientβs appendix. Infectious disease is very interested in the situation due to the risk of zoonotic infection. The hospitalβs legal department is also very interested in the situation.
Hey OP what happened to you
Iβve been chronically ill since the age of 14 and I enjoy eavesdropping
So we definitely need more positive representation of DID, but you know what would be funny? Mildly inconvenient representation of DID.
Oh the world is ending and you need to know about this one specific thing? Yeah I have a guy for that but he doesn't feel like fronting right now
Sorry what's happening rn is this the bad guy? Yeah I just switched in idk what's going on
I know you're dating one alter but we're currently co-con with another alter who hates you so idk how I'm feeling rn
And just who do i think I am? It's funny you should ask that I actually don't know right now
Wait I just remembered this. here u go :3
honourable mention

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I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area theyβve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record Iβm fine with
But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy
Here he is, the Aldi Cowboy
unfortunately very true. Doing Better does not always mean never being upset or never being triggered or never having trouble. often Doing Better means experiencing those things and being able to keep going/cope healthily/move on. if youβre in a bubble with no sensation, if youβre numbing yourself out, thatβs not what recovering really is. it wonβt help you have a happier life itβll just make your world smaller and smaller until you canβt fit anywhere anymore. gotta learn to make peace with the hard stuff too, thatβs the only way to keep going
I did not come into Tumblr dot com to be called out in this way.
one day i will drawβ¦β¦the perfect kirb
Tbh germ theory DOES sound crazy. Like if you told a regency-era nobleman that tiny creatures lived on the surface of everything and THATβS what causes consumption, theyβd be like βah, I see you are a lunatic. Would you reside in my hermitage? Rantings and ravings do so amuse my guestsβ
But if you told a Medieval person this they would probably go "Ah, so when the miasma settles on surfaces it gains evil life. I understand."
Yeah, actually, it would probably be pretty easy to explain germ theory to a Medieval person as tiny evil spirits that live on everything, but they can be purified by soap and water, or by alcohol, because that is why God has granted us those things. And because they can float in the air, if you cough or sneeze after they have infested you, that can cause them to infest others. And when you are sick, the angels God has deputized to defend the bodies of His beloved children are at war with the evil spirits, and, sadly, sometimes they lose, but the best way to help your angels win their battle is to rest, drink plenty (this would probably be small beer in this time period, not water, because the water was also infested), stay clean, and for the sake of God do not allow anyone to let your blood, for the angels need that blood in their war against the evil spirits. Bloodletting is good for some types of illnesses but not the kinds caused by the tiny evil spirits.
boiling as a sterilization measure is also easy to explain. water returns to the air when heated and it rises as steam back up to the floodgates of heaven; we know God created the world in seven days, He's not up there making more water every time it rains. it circulates. the returning of water to heaven also purifies the water of unclean and malign influences. you know wormy water from a muddy puddle will kill your kid. you know you wouldn't wade into a bog and have a slurp. water that remains in the low places of earth absorbs all that is unclean from our waste and it may also sponge up new diseases from hell, we're not totally sure about that one, but it seems likely. God set up the heavenly water cycle so that the earth's waters wouldn't totally fill up with gunk.
what does this have to do with boiling your surgical tools? well look, the boiling water releases bubbles of steam which carries the malign influences up to heaven. you boil a knife, you send all the miasmic particles off with the steam to heaven. if you rinse the knife off in a bucket the water isn't hot enough, the particles go into the water and then right back on to the knife. you gotta boil it to get the particles all the way away. how can a tool or rag or a bed have miasmic particles on it when you can't smell them? humans have a lousy sense of smell. look at your dog on the hunt. are there no rabbits in the woods just because you can't smell them? we know that miasma is carried on the air, and is what makes stench so dangerous, and we know that humans can't smell worth a damn compared to dogs cats horses etc. a dog can smell if a rat died in a corner of the room last week. you can't. do you think licking the spot where the rat died is going to go well for you? luckily, what humans lack in snout we make up for in brains. we have extra brains where our sniffers should have been. God set that up for a reason.
and why does a rinse with wine spirits work? man, look how fast alcohol evaporates. my guess is that because wine contains a lot more vice than water, it evaporates a whole lot faster, in sort of an equal and opposite way that a rock falls faster than a feather. if you want the miasmic particles to get off there FAST, you dunk it in something that's going back to heaven at a gallop.
what's up with honey? it just preserves things against corruption. doesn't clean them off. honey doesn't evaporate at all. probably because bees don't sin. it's not good for ridding a tool of particles-- it's sticky-- but fine for preserving anything you don't want to go to heaven OR hell. this is why you wash the wound with wine spirits or purified water FIRST, to sluice the miasma out, then slap the honey on AFTER. and boil the damn bandage, too. you wouldn't put a rotten door in a sound doorframe and expect it to keep out bandits, would you? cmon.
Medieval people also already knew that putting things out in the sun helped to keep them clean (UV radiation killing bacteria). So everyone knows that after you use a butter churn, you rinse it out, give it a scrub, and set it out in the sun to dry, or else it will go sour and everything you make with it will go bad fast. Likewise with when you want to get sheets and clothes really clean and fresh, you boil them with lye soap and then lay them out in the sun to dry.
Medieval paesant: yes, yes, makes total sense
JFK Jr: I take my grandkids to swim in a sewer and dig roadkill
This kind of process is called "headology" in Discworld and is the foundation for an entire branch of witchcraft in the series.
if youve ever heard of weird polycule drama u gotta understand its less 'poly people are bad partners' and more 'statistically if you have five girlfriends thats like 5x the likelyhood of one of your girlfriends doing something batshit" . like thats just basic math. rollin the dice. you hit the snake eyes buddy. sorry try again.
Statistically, what you're describing is actually the probability that at least one partner does something batshit. This can't be done by simply multiplying by the number of partners you have; if the probability is 10%, and you have 11 gfs, you'd get 110%, which doesn't make sense. What you need to do is use a cumulative binomial probability.
These are kind of annoying to calculate, so to avoid it, I'll use binomial manipulation wizardry to convert it to its equivalent: calculate the probability that all partners don't do something batshit, and take the complement
1 - (1-p)^N
where p is the probability of a single partner doing something batshit and N is the number of partners. Graphing different values for N and p (valid only for xβ₯2)
However, this assumes that the drama is generated independently from a single person alone. If the drama is interpersonal, then it is dependent on the number of interactions, which increases as the square of the number of partners.
For simplicity, let's assume all interactions have the same probability of causing drama. The probability of at least one interaction causing drama is equivalent to the complement of no interactions causing drama.
1 - (1-p)^(N(N-1)/2)
At a 10% chance of conflict arising between any two people, with five partners, the probability of drama increases eightfold to 80%
To account for both single person and interpersonal drama, you can combine the two, with different values for p1 and p2, but the change as a result of p1 is small compared to p2, especially for p1<10%
1 - (1-p1)^N Β· (1-p2)^(N(N-1)/2)
#notably only fractionally dating someone can produce negative drama#this is the benefit in friends with benefits

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Ezo squirrel in Hokkaido, photographed by Emi Kikuchi
Writing tips:
βYou feel the bulge in his pantsβ - implies that you are feeling some guyβs penis, may be sexy depending on context
βYou feel the bugle in his pantsβ - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets
Both options convey that he's horny
How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

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Moving around my whole life and having lived in 7 states has made me keenly aware of the fact that everyone thinks their city/town is uniquely terrible in exactly the same ways. "Everyone acts nice but they hate you," "The weather here is so unpredictable," "It's so hard to make friends here," "The buses are never on time," "This town is full of the craziest people," girl that's every town. "No but it's worse here" look you can't all be the worst.
she thinks she's drinks
the drinky thinker...