david - he/him, 31, ace/gay villain apologist and monster fucker - icon by @maxxifer - doughritoart.carrd.co i forget to change my age on my birthday so sometimes my bio is wrong lol
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there was a post making the rounds a couple months back suggesting that if it came to it Steve would actually be good at keeping his relationship with Eddie a secret, whereas Eddie... would not. can't find it again, but:
If Eddie was hoping anyone would be dragging him from the school cafeteria into a supply closet today, it definitely wasn't Jeff.
"Dude," Jeff says. "You gotta stop being so obvious. Sooner or later someone else will notice."
"Notice what, man?" Eddie says. It can't be anything to do with his big secret, because Eddie has been carefully rationing his glances at the hickey on Steve Harrington's neck. The hickey Eddie left last night. Because they were necking. On Steve Harrington's bed.
Steve hasn't so much as looked his way all morning, but that's what he said he'd do. We should act like nothing's changed, he'd said, and Eddie had told him it was a good idea. They've already agreed to meet up at Skull Rock after dark.
Christ, Eddie hopes he'll show. It can't have been just a one-time thing. Can it? They barely did anything before Steve's parents came home unexpectedly and Eddie had to sneak down the hall and shimmy out a window.
What little they did was so good. Steve's an amazing kisser.
"The staring," Jeff is saying. "The guys might notice! Or, hell, Harrington might notice!"
Shit. Shit, shit, shit. "I wasn't staring at anything!" Eddie says. "And— what do you mean, Harrington might—?"
Jeff shakes his head. "It's the Jack Sewell thing all over again," he says. "You were obsessed with him, too."
"Obsessed?" Eddie says incredulously. "I had a healthy level of disdain, okay—"
"Eddie, c'mon," Jeff says. He's got his patient face on, which is not helping quell the panic clawing its way up Eddie's throat. "I have eyes, man."
"Okay, but this is different," Eddie says, and then throws up a hand with lightning speed to ward off the way Jeff's eyebrows tilt up. "Not that I am conceding the Sewell thing at all, I just mean—"
"I guess it is," Jeff says, frowning at the floor like he's puzzling something out. Which he absolutely should not be doing.
"Stop that," Eddie says. "Stop thinking whatever it is you're thinking."
"You're different around him," Jeff says. "Harrington. You look at him like—"
His eyes go wide just as Eddie's sweaty palm presses over his mouth.
"Mmph!"
"Don't!" Eddie says, frantic. "Don't you fucking dare."
Jeff gooses his side, which is unfair when he knows how ticklish Eddie is, and steps back just far enough to squeak: "You're in love with him!"
"Shut up!" Eddie hisses, blood rushing to his face. "No I'm not! Fuck you!"
Jeff looks every bit as horrified as Eddie feels. "Him, Eddie? Steve Harrington? Seriously?"
"No!" Eddie says, thinking fast. Who did he last see hanging off Steve's arm? "I'm— Brenda Carlisle! I like Brenda, okay? And she likes Harrington! I'm just— trying to figure out why so I can snag her!"
"Bullshit!" Jeff says. "That's— I've never seen you check her out. You never check out girls."
"Yes I do!" Eddie says, mouth dry. He can't be that transparent. There's no way. "I— that time at the pool last summer with those cheerleaders— and— and I'm the one who bought all those skin mags we keep in the van! I check out girls all the time!"
Jeff's clearly not buying it. "It's cool, you know," he says. "I've known you for years, man, I know you wouldn't— make a pass at me, or anything."
Eddie closes his eyes, and when that's not enough he screws up his entire face. "Jesus H.," he says, scrubbing both hands through his hair. "You know what, I'm out of here."
He turns on his heel, but Jeff darts ahead, half-blocking the door. "Hold on, wait. You're still coming to practice, right? We have that gig on Thursday—"
Eddie sighs so hard his lungs are in real danger of collapsing. Can't even make a dramatic exit in peace. "Of course I'm coming to practice," he huffs. "I'd never jeopardize the band, man."
"Okay," Jeff says, raising a hand to clap Eddie's shoulder and freezing in mid-air, hovering awkwardly before he redirects to rub at the back of his own neck instead. "That's— that's good."
Great. Jeff thinks he's contagious. "Alright, man," Eddie says, setting his jaw. "See you around."
Jeff grimaces. "Shit, no, wait," he says, and then he holds out his hand for a handshake. Like a huge fucking dork. Jesus Christ.
Eddie looks to the heavens, but he takes Jeff's hand. He's not an idiot. This is kind of a monumental thing, here.
"Friends?" Jeff says.
"You know it," Eddie says, and ignores the way his eyes threaten to get hot. "And just for the record, I'd rather die with my dick untouched than make it with any of you losers."
"Wait," Jeff says, at the same time as Eddie's brain catches up with what just came out of his mouth. Stupid fucking— "You're still a virgin?"
"I'm leaving," Eddie says, dropping Jeff's hand like it's a dead fish and powerwalking out the door. "Goodbye!"
"Bye!" Jeff calls after him. He's laughing, the bastard. "See you at practice!"
hey um. so sorry to tell you this, but op of that post plays toys kinda weird. yeah you should just block them, that's not how normal people play with toys
if you’re wondering why spellcheck and grammar check is worse now, it’s because they replaced it with AI! 🥰
now, instead of maintaining a comprehensive, nuanced, and human-maintained encyclopedia by which to check your document, they have switched to an AI that just compares what you’ve written to what other people write in, say, Google Docs, and use the most commonly used iteration.
ever have it change something like “all intents and purposes” to “all intensive purposes” or “should’ve” to “should of”? that’s why!
people make the same spelling and grammar mistakes so often, AI thinks that’s the way you say it because it is a PATTERN DETECTOR and cannot THINK let alone use language.
Eddie hates mornings. Absolutely hates them. He stays up all night and sleeps all day until Steve. Steve, who wakes up at the ass crack of dawn and makes Eddie breakfast with little faces in his eggs. He sings along to songs on the radio while making Eddie’s coffee, and it’s so good. The coffee. Because Steve makes it. Now Eddie loves mornings.
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Sterek AU: Stiles thinks he might have fallen asleep or had a bit too much to drink (it’s totally Scott’s fault because he didn’t come to watch over him) and now there is a naked Derek in front of him. But Derek was just on a run in his wolf form until the scent of StilesStilesStiles hit him.
no one who speaks 2+ languages ever “randomly” switches in the middle of a sentence. like that just…….. doesn’t happen?
the only times people will get confused and mix them up is when:
a) they’re in an environment where they have to alternate between speaking two languages often/quickly, and the brain can’t keep up and messes up.
b) they’ve been in an environment where they have to speak/hear one language for a long time, and when they change settings it takes them a moment to not instinctively go for the other language.
c) they’re hearing one language (music, radio, background chatter) and trying to speak another
interrupting themselves in the middle of a conversation because they can only remember the word they wanna say in another language
having the perfect idiom/expression for a situation but it doesn’t translate as well
having the perfect word for a situation but it doesn’t even fucking exist in that language
if ur character is out in public with their family, i can guarantee u that they’ll talk shit about people around them in their native tongue
calling their significant others pet names is a conscious choice. it doesn’t just “slip up”. it may come naturally with time, but saying a word in another language is something you like… immediately notice
swearing is complicated and i’m not getting into it rn
anyone who has ever picked up another language has been pissed at specific vowels and pronunciations and this is the gospel truth
[forgets a word] [attempts to explicitely describe the thing they’re trying to say] [forgets a word while trying to explain themselves] “oh jesus christ nevermind”
will know how to speak a language but not know any of the mathematical/scientific/biological terms because they went to school in a different language and no one learns, like, algebra in a second language unless they studied in multiple languages.
[knows a word but they’ve only ever read it and they have no idea how it’s pronounced]
there’s probably more stuff that i’m forgetting rn but that’s like, the main bits. thank u for ur time
more info, including some stuff about swearing (also even more great info in the reblogs): http://dadbob.tumblr.com/post/149827158761/contrary-to-popular-belief-someone-who-is-fluent
the only thing id like to add is that if you’re distracted or thinking about/in another language slip-ups do happen!
like, i /have/ randomly switched while speaking with my friends, but thats pretty rare and only happened twice or so when i was really distracted
Yeah the “never randomly changes mid-sentence” is blatantly untrue. Granted I have ADHD, but I totally do that.
I do it a LOT intentionally (but seemingly random to outsiders) when speaking to bilingual friends. A large portion of my friends are Norwegians who spend a lot of time on the internet or around English-speaking people, and we switch back and forth all the time depending on context and subject.
In many many many chat conversations with a friend whose first language was Portuguese, I only remember him slipping up once - I don’t even remember what I said, but his response was “rsrsrsrsrs” and before I could even say what the heck he’d corrected himself to “lololol” and explained that rsrsrs is the Portuguese equivalent. Risos = laughter = rsrsrs in chat.
My friend and I both speak Spanish, but it’s her first language and my second. We were having lunch and checking out this guy we’d seen around the college before. My friend admitted that although he was good-looking, she thought she’d seen a ring on him before and said “He’s probably compromised.”
I immediately cracked up because to me it was hilarious to compare engagement to being a revealed secret agent, but my friend just looked kind of embarrassed and that’s when I got it.
“Engaged” in Spanish is “comprometido” which literally means “compromised.” She confessed she couldn’t remember the word in English, but instead of thinking about it she just translated comprometido into English before realizing that wasn’t it. This from my friend whose English was otherwise flawless and had been through high school with me speaking it just fine.
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Steve: Eddie, do these pants make my ass look fat?
Eddie: *waving his hands* No! Nope! No way! Nancy warned me about this, and I am NOT falling for your trap! I see right through you, Harrington! I know exactly what you're doing.
Eddie got up and stormed out, leaving Steve confused. He came back in a moment later, tearing off his vest, and began taking off his clothes in a fury.
Eddie: Alright, we can have sex, but I'm not holding your hand! *pause* Okay, we can hold hands, but we're not cuddling after. *paused again* Okay, we can cuddle after, but that's it! No more!
Eddie stormed upstairs, continuing to take off his clothes. He came back down a moment later, wearing nothing but his boxers and one sock.
Eddie: Okay, we can do it again, but after that, no more! *pause* Fine, friends with benefits is acceptable, but I refuse to be anyone's boyfriend! I'm not the kind of guy you bring home to your mother, Steven!
Eddie disappeared up the stairs and came back down, missing his sock.
Eddie: Alright, I'll be your boyfriend, but I refuse to meet your parents. It's just not going to happen, Steve. You're going to have to give that dream up. . .oh, I see what you're doing. You little minx. That whole thing was a complete and utter trap. Flashing your ass in my face and asking if you look fat. . .oh, it's an evil plan, Steve! You knew! Oh, you knew! When we get married, you're taking my last name!
Eddie slid out of his boxers and threw them into Steve’s face. He disappeared up the stairs.
Steve: I have been trying for MONTHS, and now that I've finally given up, it happens!. . .Wait, why I'm complaining? He's naked in my room and waiting for me! I got him! I don't know how, but I did.
Steve never ran so fast in his life. He almost fell down the stairs getting to Eddie.
Eddie doesn’t want to move Hellfire. Changing the date is out of the question! No matter how much they insist, Eddie refuses to budge.
Dustin, Will, Mike, Lucas, and Erica complain to Steve about it. They ask him to do something to get Eddie to change the date. Steve tells them it’s impossible to change Eddie’s mind, especially regarding Hellfire, but given their persistence, he agrees to try, though he makes no promises; if Eddie won’t listen to them, he certainly won’t listen to him.
That same evening, Eddie is at Steve’s place, in the living room, having taken over his table to map out his new Campaign. Eddie is focused on a document when Steve comes up behind him and leans forward, planting both hands flat on the table and boxing Eddie in. Steve inhales before whispering into Eddie’s ear, “You should move Hellfire”. Eddie is completely out of touch with reality, and the only thing he manages to say is, “Okay”. Steve smiles and whispers, “Good boy,” letting his lips graze the shell of Eddie’s ear before pulling away completely and returning to what he was doing. Eddie remains motionless, trying to steady his racing heart and make sense of exactly what just happened.
The next day, Eddie announces that he has decided to change the date of the next Campaign. He gives no details and answers no questions. He tells them they should simply consider themselves lucky that, in his great kindness, he listened to their whining and approved their request.
(Since Hellfire takes place at Steve’s place, the boys and Erica assume that Steve simply needs to remind Eddie that it’s his house and he’s the one in charge and that, consequently, Hellfire has to be moved. When they asked him “to do something,” they meant “having an adult conversation.”)
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Autistic Steve Harrington self-regulating after school/after work by getting into his car and just screaming as loud as possible the entire way home. That's his way of vocal stimming, just being loud as fuck.
Eddie sees this one day when they're in the parking lot of Family Video together and genuinely gets concerned that Steve's having, like, a mental breakdown or something. So that's how he introduces himself to Steve.
*knocks on driver's side window*
*Steve notices and rolls down his window* "Oh, hey Munson, what's up?"
"Are you...like...okay?"
"Uh...yeah? Why wouldn't I be?"
"Just, uh, you were screaming?"
"Oh...oh! Yeah, no, that's fine. I'm, like, getting all the anger out. Returning to normal, y'know?"
"Uh...what?"
Steve shrugs. "I'm fine, dude. Don't worry about it. I'm having a good time right now, sorta." *rolls up window again and starts screaming all over again, backs out of the parking lot*
*Eddie watching Steve's car disappear into the distance, the screaming getting quieter the farther he gets* "Sure. Yeah. That was normal, Harrington. Perfectly fucking normal."
Eddie tries it out the next time he's in his van and, shocker, he ends up liking the way it keeps him grounded.
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