Why is Gamora

zis is like a medeval TOGHRTURE.

whathellwas even zat . OOOOO MY GAD. oh it- preetty cuute. OOOHHOOHOOHHOGGOOOHHHH OH MY GADDD THGAT WAS VEURY SCHARMING... OOH my gad he is DEAaaadddd... ohhh not ze daaaawwwg... ooooohhh nnooo you are feeling him wiz ze wader of ze hose...he iz also veury shcarming zey look veury cute like zis...i wont liiieee to yoU !

OH!

EWWELIKE A LAMBB...

S̵̝̞͆͘T̸̜̕O̷͂͛͜P̸̰̲̎ ̶͙͛T̶̖̲́̀Õ̸̥͉̒Ṷ̷́C̵͙͊͒H̴̪̩̊̕I̸̮̓̚N̸͍͙͗G̵͚͝ ̷̳̔̃H̴͍̉͌I̷̝͐M̷̔ͅ.̴̨̈.

FRRREAK.

MONSTAEUR

TRUMP DETAINED AT VATICAN

4-26-25 by FIJMU Vatican consultant Matt Ikansaltent

The world stands in shock today as the President of the United States was detained in Vatican City for throwing a tantrum when he was not allowed to promote his new crypto-currency during the Pope's funeral.

The Swiss Guard had been monitoring President Trump's entourage as there had been complains of casual vocalized blasphemy when he was inconvenienced, and written blasphemy when he left no tip for the Vatican Funerary Seating Usher except for a sticky-note on which was written, "u took longer to return than friggin jesus, no tip 4 u."

But the last straw came when Head Poet of Catholicism Al Dantigheri was to deliver a poem about Pope Francis, but Trump took the microphone without permission and began to ramble about "Crooked Hillary" and his new Crypto coin, which he falsely implied had the deceased Pope's endorsement.

The guard detained Trump, who was confused that the Vatican was its own country and not in fact a single church he had believed was in Utah. The detention of a sitting precedent has no president in American or Vatican history, president, president has no prese- This shit has never happened before and it may cause an international incident, with Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth stating in an Instagram story meant for his "close friends list" that the military stood by with over 800 nuclear missiles aimed at the Vatican. He does not seem to be aware that the entire Vatican including Trump himself would be vaporized by even a single one.

The Vatican has promised eternal retribution should there be any attack or attempt to free the President, but that it would come in the afterlife and if Trump or Hegseth should repent, they would still get to go to heaven and enjoy the company of Pope Francis, Jesus, and God himself, if they should pay for a personal dinner with him.