I Can’t Believe This Wasn’t Taken

hey man I'm the torturer [shaking your hand and detecting apprehension] that just means it's my job to torture people [visibly uncomfortable] there are lots of people like me

An analysis of posting trends on Tumblr suggests that the ideal form of the visual novel is a semi-linear murder mystery whose gameplay consists of solving middle-school "who lives in the blue house?" style verbal logic puzzles, except every time you guess wrong a mean bisexual MILF makes fun of you.

It's tremendously annoying that this is the version of the post that trended because Umineko has essentially none of the described features.

not many people know this but when talking about your multiple pronoun-using friend you build up a combo meter for every subsequent unique pronoun you use

I was scrolling too fast and thought I saw someone with a Non-binary Homelander profile picture. I was very fascinated by this until I scrolled back up and was disappointed to discover I had been mistaken

if you call women “females” i automatically do not trust or like you

you really wont like the military then buddy

jokes on you, i already hate the military

Goddamit i hate this fucking post. I hate it because obviously if “twelve” followed the same pattern as the other teen numbers it wouldn’t be “twoteen” it would be “seconteen”. Think about it. It’s not “threeteen” it’s “thirteen” as in “third”. It’s not “fiveteen” it’s “fifteen” as in fifth. So with that in mind, you count “first, second, third, fourth, fifth,” and so on, so eleven would be “firsteen” and twelve would be “secondteen” or “seconteen”. “Firsteen, seconteen, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen….” It just drives me absolutely mad everytime i see this post that this obvious pattern was overlooked and i cant hold in my rage anymore.

interesting hypothesis! i have a question,

Yeppp. That’s why I had to add the banner. Blocking them is like whack-a-mole.

OH THATS REALLY FUNNY

Okay I just finished watching The Good Place season 1 and I have a theory. I think they were all dead the whole time.

For years, sci-fi has asked, what if aliens were wetter than us. Project Hail Mary posits a new, daring question. What if we are the wet aliens

the justification when law enforcement kills someone for no particular reason always boils down to “we got really really scared, you should feel bad for us because we were sososo scared” ok. piss yourself or scream or something. why is killing someone the only option

American cops are very badly programmed. Gun is the only interaction they have.

You forgot texting their buddies pictures of decomposing murder victims, saying heinously racist and/or misogynistic stuff and ‘accidentally’ turning off their body cameras.

Sorry whats this about texting pictures of murder victims???

I went to look up the case I remembered and it turns out it has happened multiple times in several countries. Cops keep getting caught sending extremely graphic photos of corpses and crime scenes to their buddies in group chats, often accompanied by racist and misogynistic slurs aimed at the victim. They often blame the press for ‘leaking’ graphic pictures of murder victims when it was usually a cop who responded to the scene snapping a pic on his personal phone to gross his friends out or be a perv.

artists fuck better because we turn sex into art, masterpieces, mattresses become canvases where we can paint our love to someone with bodies.

its like, impossible to come up with anything funnier than the experience of seeing this post

pharoahs fuck better because they ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh put the pussy in a scarmophogoghs

French people when you call it bukake and not "nut a la visage" and shibari instead of "corde attacher l'submissive"