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@thisuserwillselfdestru-n0

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Local house witch telling you to please learn basic housekeeping skills.
Itâs not your fault if no one ever taught you but YouTube is a magical place and can teach you at your own pace.
Someone asked me what housekeeping skills Iâd recommend learning.
Keep in ming that this is not me shaming you, I know you have your reasons, folks. This is just a guy who enjoys clean spaces asking that you start learning now.
Hereâs what I suggest as an adult who has lived with other adults who didnât have housekeeping skills:
First and foremost, learn about all the places in your house that need to be cleaned and understand how often they should be cleaned. the American Cleaning Institute (I guess thatâs a thing) has a good article about basic cleaning info. Plus this video on cleaning tips is great!
Learn how to do your dishes. HOT water is the only way to clean your dishes.
Learn how to clean your shower head, especially if you live in a place with hard water. Same goes for your sinks.
Learn how to do your laundry correctly. Even without the whole âseparating whites and colorsâ thing, there are things you need to learn about washing your clothes. Learn what the tags mean, too.
Also, you donât have to use fabric softener and you shouldnât use it on towels or any fabric meant to absorb. (Learn about laundromats) And please learn how to clean out your dryer vent, itâs a safety hazard!
Get a disinfecting cleaner for your high-touch areas, especially the gross ones like the bathroom. Just because it doesnât look dirty, doesnât mean itâs clean!
Learn how to sweep, mop, and vacuum effectively.
Youâll also want to make sure to change out your homeâs air filters.
TL;DR, here are some cleaning videos.
How to Clean Everything in Your Bathroom
How to Clean Everything in Your Kitchen
Livingroom Cleaning Routine
How to Clean Everything in Your Bedroom
Now these resources are not the end-all-be-all, but I think if you donât know much about cleaning your space this is a good way to start.
hereâs some of the things that are helping me actually clean (as an adult who had messy parents, and has a hard time getting threw my nurodivergency about cleaning specifically) that may be helpful to you:
Favorite Cleaning Book: it helps you work through the emotional side of cleaning (and other care tasks)
Current Favorite Decluttering Method/Concept: it helps you know how much is too much to keep and how to get started when youâre overwhelmed. (having too much stuff makes it incredibly hard to clean/organize.)
Basic Cleaning Skills: this channel is amazing! this man has a special interest in cleaning and cleans peopleâs spaces who deal nurodivergence that make it hard to clean. he does this for free (or at a deficit because he pays for supplies and dumpsters and transport and such) and does it all with empathy and kindness working With the people as much as people can handle instead of just coming in to âfixâ an issue. these videos are a bit different from his usual ones, (the last oneâs most like his usual videos) but i find having the sped up cleaning videos with a voiceover can help fill in for body doubling when im too ashamed to bring people into my messy spaces.
Iâm gonna queue this as well so youâll be seeing it again from me in a few months without any comments on it, but this is all good things to know
Dealing With Executive Dysfunction - A Masterpost
The âgetting it done in an unconventional wayâ method.
The âitâs not cheating to do it the easy wayâ method.
The âfuck what youâre supposed to doâ method.
The âget stuff done while you waitâ method.
The âyou donât have to do everything at onceâ method.
The âit doesnât have to be permanent to be helpfulâ method.
The âbreak the task into smaller stepsâ method.
The âtreat yourself like a petâ method.
The âit doesnât have to be all or nothingâ method.
The âput on a personaâ method.
The âact like youâre filming a tutorialâ method.
The âyou donât have to do it perfectlyâ method.
The âwait for a triggerâ method.
The âdo it for your future selfâ method.
The âmight as wellâ method.
The âwhen self discipline doesnât cut itâ method.
The âtaking care of yourself to take care of your petâ method.
The âmake it easyâ method.
The âjunebuggingâ method.
The âjust show upâ method.
The âaccept when you need helpâ method.
The âmake it into a gameâ method.
The âeverything worth doing is worth doing poorlyâ method.
The âtrick yourselfâ method.
The âbreak it into even smaller stepsâ method.
The âlet go of shouldâ method.
The âyour body is an animal you have to take care ofâ method.
The âfork theoryâ method.
The âeffectivity over aestheticsâ method.
This is the sacred texts, this is the holy grail.
TBR. If I can rememberâŚ
feels like im always recovering. when do i get to live
"it's okay to rest for as long as you need from burnout" how long is it actually going to take though. there's stuff i wanna do.
Movement nudge! Just do something!
X

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Fun fact! When someone tells you they have low/no empathy, it is wrong and disrespectful when you respond with hostility, and asking stupid questions like if they kick puppies or manipulate people.
No, seriously, donât respond like this.
it's really painfully obvious that the most extreme thing some people can imagine a parent doing to a child is hitting them once out of uniquely monumental anger and feeling bad about it afterwards. I'm sorry but you have to understand that parents are, actively, at a larger scale than literally anyone else (chapter 3, perpetrator relationship): raping their kids for years on end (my childhood); beating them to the point they regularly fear for their lives (my friend's childhood); torturing them to death (candace newmaker); locking them up without any human contact, depriving them of every single human necessity (genie). There are countless stories like this, of exploitation and abuse in a thousand awful flavors, countless examples of all of these things, and you have to understand that these are not exceptions to the healthy, functional family; these abuses are all made possible, even probable (e.g. spanking, forced dressing/undressing, unwanted sexual comments about the body, unwanted invasion or denial of privacy) by the ownership and power parents are given over their children. You don't need exceptional wealth and power to wreak the worst kinds of violence on a child. All you need are the natural rights given for parenting one.
every single fucking study shows that parents are the biggest abusers of their own children in every fucking category but no one cares!!!!! we can't change anything about the world, we just need to whack-a-mole punish the mentally-predisposed-exceptional-degeneretes the bourgeois state manage to catch and prosecute, and oh of course give more fucking power to parents so they can Keep Kids Safe And Isolated Fanily Home Is Perfect Place To Put Child Safe Environment Good Size, but it's never going to fucking stop until something fundamentally changes!!!!!!!!! Children need political power, they need economic support, they need independence and they need rights. The right to say no to what adults want from you, the right to leave your parents, the right to be provided with food and a home.
My wifeâs idea of decompressing after the busy holiday was to rearrange every piece of furniture in our home is this an ADHD thing or just a her thing
Iâm not complaining the way sheâs done it is much better than it was itâs just like how is this your idea of a relaxing weekend
Listen I don't get to decide when the drunk elf that is my executive actually does the functioning but when he does we have a SMALL WINDOW OF TIME before he finds the schnapps again and we're done
yes this exactly
So to me, there are spoons (general energy cost) and carnival tickets (specific energy cost).
Spoons can be used pretty much anywhere.
Carnival tickets are only good for the carnival, and itâs only in town for a limited amount of time.
So like, if I get âkitchen cleaningâ carnival tickets, I canât use that to clean my bedroom, thatâs not where the carnival is.
Except, critically, at bedtime.
Ravings and urges get miscoded over time. Letâs say youâre thirsty, and you live in a strawberry field. Strawberries contain some water and a bunch of sugar so, over time, you may start to crave strawberries when you are thirsty because you get a reward and some relief in shorter time from the need starting than the trek to the stream. This can happen for every need: sleep, food, whatever.
Trevor Noah has a great tip, that when he craves ice cream at night he breaks it down into parts: I want something cold, I want something sweet. He drinks a glass of cold water then waits to see if he still has the ice cream craving. Usually he doesnât.
So listening to your body isnât âfollow every urgeâ but âdecompose the urge to discover the underlying need.â
If you always feel like getting cozy in bed you may be: cold, dehydrated, and/or malnourished (maybe a need for high calories that are bioaccessibleâŚnot processed).
If you do not feel tired at bedtime you may: need to eat dinner earlier because your body is still digesting, need to exercise or go outside more during the day, get the fuck off your screen for an hour so your brain can enter sleep mode.
Hope this helps someone.
P.S. notice i said nothing about neurodivergence. Not that itâs not a likelihood but the over-pathologization of behaviors prevents us from taking simple actions to improve our wellbeing. Also, these tips are pretty accessible and applicable to most brain variations.
Iâm having thoughts about ableism bc of that post i just rb but didnât want to derail it
I feel like a big part of the shame Iâve felt is from people in my life who think they arenât ableist but definitely are. It almost makes it worse bc theyâre people who have earned my trust in some ways but even they donât fully accept me.
Iâve had so many people who think they know my issues tell me âwell at least youâre not as bad as those peopleâ (hypothetical disabled people with more severe symptoms than me) and
1. What would you say to *those* people?? Would you shame them??? What the heck??
And 2. They donât know that sometimes my symptoms *are* that bad. I actively hide that from you bc youâre obviously not understanding or compassionate towards disability. I DO stink from lack of hygiene. I DO pee my pants. I DO have meltdowns from minor inconveniences. I AM that slow and take THAT long at certain tasks.
I am slowly curating my social circle. Iâm eliminating the ableists and finding people I feared didnât exist, who understand and love me and actively go out of their way to accommodate my disability and donât judge me at all. Itâs amazing.
It sucks that so much of society is so shameful of us but Iâm so grateful for the people Iâve found who accept me. Itâs making me more confident to speak out about my issues and not worry about making ableists uncomfortable bc I know I have people who love me unconditionally

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I hate those 'TMI' type of symptoms that I feel so humiliated by I don't even feel comfortable admitting them to medical professionals. I feel so much shame constantly. Stuff like incontinence.
It makes me scared to go in public sometimes and is genuinely so viscerally upsetting and humiliating for me on days when I deal with it.
Like my best friend is the most supportive person I know, and only recently did I admit that those symptoms were something I struggled with and needed to vent about.
I wish people were nicer as a society and more sensitive about these things and talked about them more in relation to disability. I've felt extremely alone in this sort of struggle for so long now, especially being young.
I wet myself sometimes bc of interoception issues. It took me 9 psychotherapist to finally admit this to my current one. Thank god she was compassionate about it. Itâs crazy I didnât feel comfortable talking about it with literal therapists for so many years.
resist the urge to self-isolate, girl. people want you around. people don't think you're faulty. you're allowed to be wrong and make mistakes and missteps and people won't reject you for it. don't self-isolate. nobody in your life wants you to self-isolate. don't do it.
some of y'all abled "allies" take back your support as soon as the person is "gross".
you still need to support disabled people if they use a catheter, diapers, IVs, food bags, and waste bags.
you still need to support disabled people if they cant shower, brush their teeth, put on deodorant, or shave regularly.
you still need to support disabled people if they bedrot, eat messily, and breathe noisily.
i am so tired of y'all treating disabled folks like trash.
This Post Is About Physical Disability. Do Not Derail.
The really unfortunate thing about mental health progress is that sometimes you realize you've made it in the form of "wow, I haven't felt this bad in a fucking while"
On the one hand it's a bit of a pick me up in a dark place to know that this will pass because it has passed before on the other hand sometimes it isn't entirely a pleasant thought to go "wow, I used to feel like this all the time. That was pretty fucking bad. It's pretty bad right now too also."
Someday your current baseline will be the sort of thing you consider A Really Bad Day. It does get better.

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cleaning along desire paths
Fantastic advice!! And something Iâve realized Iâve been doing for myself these last 6-7 years, even though I never had a name for it.
Seriously, this is such a great way to go about organizing your home.
I really canât express how much easier your life can be when you accept that thereâs no objectively right way to do this kind of stuff, especially when you let go of the idea that itâs a moral failure when you canât do something the âcorrect wayâ nor is it evidence of you being lazy.
Working with (leaning into) your natural limits and instincts can do wonders for you in your day-to-day life.
I used to think I was manipulative bc I would sometimes make certain facial expressions/use body language that would make people see how I was feeling. Then I realised that that is called expressing yourself and I might be autistic