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@werevampiwolf
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☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
☆ Art by Frances Cannon (they/them) ☆
thinking about the time a former housemate said to me "hey I put these box fans in the living room because it's hot" while gesturing to the fans that I was actively sitting in front of because it was hot. and I said "okay thanks." and she kept standing there like she was waiting for something else so I said "am I blocking the airflow? do you need me to move?" and she said no I'm just letting you know they're here, in the living room, for circulation. and I said well yes, I did put that together. I am enjoying them. thank you. and she looked confused. so I asked "am I meant to do something with this information or are you just informing me?" and she said no I'm letting you know they're here because It's Hot In Here. she seemed a bit aggravated, and her emphasis seemed deliberate.
it took me asking three more times before she finally told me she wanted me to leave the fans where they are instead of moving them to my room or something. and I said oh! I had no intention of doing so but thank you for letting me know what the expectation is.
about a month later she brought up that conversation as the moment it actually clicked for her that I Am Autistic And Will Not Magically Intuit The Unspoken Request You Didn't Ask Me.
I have observed enough allistic communication to know that generally, if somebody points something out to you that you can already see or are already clearly interacting with, they are making an indirect request. but as I don't know what the request is, the only way forward is for me to guess (and likely get it wrong), or prompt the allistic to tell me clearly what they need.
however, allistics don't realize they do this, so asking them to say the unspoken surprises and confuses them. this is not their fault. allistics can be quite emotionally fragile and perceive directness as confrontation, so they habitually rely on indirect speech and coded language to preserve others' feelings. this is why they may find it difficult to be direct, even when asked. I have found that with enough gentle encouragement and reassurance that they are actually helping you, you too can achieve successful communication with your allistic friend or loved one. :)
Ring
c. 1902
gold, black opal
by Tiffany & Co.
Philadelphia Museum of Art
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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⁉️ happy pride month turns out I Saw The TV Glow is free to watch on youtube and has been for at least three months now and i did not know until just now
i need to get gender affirming surgery
yknow its interesting how something can impact one demographic in a completely different way than everyone else. in the exorcist when the demon starts speaking in greek, to most people its creepy. but if youre greek and you suddenly start hearing the demon speak perfect fucking greek its genuinely the biggest scare of the movie. you just do not expect to ever hear your language in american movies so it catches you so badly off guard, it feels like the movie is talking directly to you
the first time my dad saw it, it was with his american friends. and when she started speaking greek he turned to one of them and was like "re malaka did you hear that in english?"
I promise you can use "said" and "asked" so much more in your writing than your realise. People won't think your writing is bad. I swear. The words are basically invisible. You can use them. It's okay.
Before the end, Martin prayed that his friend would live. Sheogorath answered his prayer and ensured that the emperor's champion would live...they would live forever.
And this post here shows there are a couple of different replies there were of course hundreds of replies. I even replied which I will now put here but besides making a joke about the famous quote, it was also Bloomsday
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men will do literally anything other than engaging in pro-social community-oriented behavior and then get online and complain about how masculinity is vilified and men aren't allowed to be heroes anymore
"all men really want is to feel like the hero" okay then volunteer at a food bank. get narcan training. step in when a woman is being harassed on the street. help out an elderly neighbor with shopping or home repairs. learn how to safely de-escalate fights. help your friends move. join or start your workplace union. become a big brother or volunteer coach for kids' sports. clean up your local park or get involved in some local conservation campaign. do your own damn dishes. notice what needs to be done and then do it. the world doesn't need heroes, it needs helpers. there are literally so many paths to finding a sense of self-respect and worth through pro-social behaviors that improve your immediate local community and help build your network of close personal connections. but these guys don't give a shit about actually contributing anything to the world. they just want to whine and fantasize.
their inherent lack of self-respect is belied not only by the fact that they can't imagine doing anything that contributes to building a better, more resilient society, but how they can't imagine that doing so might involve a lot of small acts and choices and not one big act of heroism that gets them on the news as Big Man Of The Year.
Quilted wall hanging of Mt. Fuji for my mom
does anyone else get tired of people thinking it's so cute and quirky when a non disabled/neurotypical adult collects toys from their childhood and but the vibe instantly changes when it's an autistic person who collects toys from their childhood suddenly it's all about how we have a lower mental age and can never grow up and shit. so fucking tired of it, let me collect things that are meaningful to me and not be painted as having the mental age of a child when i'm an adult. fuck off.
Again people just say the word codifying like it's some magic word that makes it totally unassailable. The Voting Rights Act was codified into law and yet it got absolutely gutted. There's nothing to suggest that the monomaniacally obsessed Republican party wouldn't have found some way to use the Supreme Court to gut any national abortion law the second any flimsy pretext came up.
These idiots 100% think "Codification" is an irrevocable Save Point and that politics and law function along Phoenix Wright Drama Laws... or something like this.
Because they think this way (Or the people who have marketed themselves as Fuckable Politics Thing-Knowers insist that all 'politics and law' take is Sufficient Willpower To Do the Thing) it is of course ONLY due to deliberate cheating inaction to Do The Good Thing (By Mommmy Lib ONLY) that the Good Thing doesn't happen. Add some more conspiracy bullshit, sprinkle in the Words of Power and ramble for 5-6 incoherent paragraphs and you've got a Banger Post That Really Sticks It To the Libs and means You Don't Have To do anything at all or change your priors or come to any realizations. ITS A RACKET AND BOTH SIDES ARE BAD AND YOURE THE ONLY GOOD PERSON. Just like your MAGA Uncle does. He'd be so proud.
Also, like. Regulations are law. They are codified into the Code of Federal Regulations. And courts throw them out all the fucking time.
Either you have the courts or you don't have anything. Either you reform the courts, or hope that enough Republican justices happen to die during a Democratic presidency with a Democrat Senate, or you have nothing.
I've been screaming this since 2014. I was screaming that SCOTUS was the most important issue during 2016 and we'd lose everything for decades if Clinton wasn't elected. Like. Fuck.
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it’s always “I understand why you have an autism diagnosis now” and not “thank you for explaining the entirety of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster to me, I really enjoyed hearing about the Chernobyl nuclear disaster”
I have more than one person in the notes of my post saying they did not in fact know that the ACA stopped insurance companies from being able to deny coverage for a pre-existing condition in case you were wondering where we're at. People don't know the ACA and Obamacare are the same thing, they don't know it's why they have healthcare, they don't even know what it does. How do you even deal with that?
ETA:
walking into the sea
"they used it to give you healthcare" ok lol let me stop you right there. They made a bunch of compromises they didn't have to in pursuit of "reaching across the aisle."
We could've had the public option! The individual mandate was some libertarian shit that the Dems agreed to and then suddenly the Republicans had a problem with it! They dragged the debate rightward and Dems let it get dragged and then passed some milquetoast incrementalist shit that still allowed private insurance companies to run rampant the way they are now. Sure there are good things in there but don't give the Dems too much credit when WE COULD HAVE HAD THE PUBLIC OPTION.
We could have had the public option if Massachusetts hadn’t blown it the special election after Ted Kennedy died but they elected a Republican. They didn’t have the votes in the senate for a public option after that. Feel free to piss on Joe Lieberman’s grave about it. They did not make compromises in the name of reaching across the aisle during the ACA negotiations. That’s why they needed 60 votes in the senate. They made compromises to get support from the more conservative members of their own party. Those people are basically gone now, many replaced with Republicans. Democrats got slaughtered in the 2010 midterms over the ACA. I have healthcare because of it. If you have a preexisting condition or you’re on your parents’ insurance in your 20s you do too.
#i think everyone who's mad the dems “didn't do enough” with the aca#should be forced to watch the ER episode where a kid almost dies of diabetes after his dad begs carter to delay diagnosis#in order to avoid the kid having a pre-existing condition insurance won't cover when his new plan kicks in in a few months#and then they should have to very sincerely thank the dems for making sure that shit can't happen anymore#like yes the state of US healthcare is still horribly dystopian#but we no longer have that one problem and it was a very big victory at the time#and lots of people think we should go back to insurance companies being allowed to fully deny coverage for pre-existing conditions#so perhaps we should all be a little more grateful that's no longer a thing#most especially those too young to remember it being a thing#bc like i remember my parents worrying about what would happen to my brother's insurance#if my mom changed jobs after his food allergies were diagnosed#i remember them worrying how we'd afford his epi-pens out of pocket#and i remember that ceasing to be a concern with the aca#so like if you personally don't remember pre-aca health insurance at all you don't get to blame democrats for not doing enough#when some of y'all aren't even doing the bare minimum and actually *voting* @rinielelrandir
Seriously I think that episode of ER should be required viewing!! One of the other characters points out how dangerous it is for Carter to agree to delay diagnosis but the alternative is the family being unable to afford treatment because the insurance company wouldn't cover it.
Sometimes I think the pre-ACA reality that allowed insurance companies to do this was so absurdly cruel that within a few years people just forgot. Every post about the ACA and pre-existing conditions inevitably attracts two kinds of comments: "that never actually happened!" and "this literally happened to me." Like yeah it is hard to believe that was allowed but it was! There will be people voting in 2028 who weren't born when the ACA was passed. It's our job to make sure they know this history; we shouldn't be having to explain it to people who were adults in 2010.
I'm glad your brother was able to get his epi-pens and that the ACA eased that stress for your family! When my congenital heart defect was diagnosed when I was 2 part of the conversation was the doctor telling my dad he couldn't jobs or I would lose coverage. Like... imagine trying to process your child's newly diagnosed heart condition and then also at the same time having to process that you have to keep your current job for the next 20 years if you want your child's medical care to be covered. My dad was a public school teacher (with a union!) which had its ups and downs, but at least it was stable during the 2008 recession. That's such an evil situation, I get angry thinking about it. I got my CHD repaired two weeks before the ACA was signed into law so even though I was in middle school I was following it with interest.
