PENGUIN'S SUPER SECRET PAGE

adding to this, happy disability pride month to disabled people with cptsd, regardless of what caused it. experiencing ongoing trauma every single day for weeks, months, years, that takes a massive toll on your body, especially physically disabled ones (ask me how i know). wether it's from abuse, neglect, poverty, being disabled itself and all the trauma that comes from that, anything at all, i hope you can soon be able to leave the situation if ongoing and have the opportunity to heal during and after

the more i talk to extended family the more i learn that it was EXTREMELY obvious to all the adults around me as a child that something had gone horribly wrong and i needed professional help, but i guess there's some sort of prime directive thing where you can suggest to the kid's parents that the kid might need help but you can never ever ever let on to the kid that you can tell something is wrong. you just have to hold on to that until the kid becomes an adult who's able to say "so i think i experienced a lot of trauma when i was very little" and then you can say "yes, i know. i didn't know what happened but it was completely unmissable that something had." okay. thank you. that's very validating. but why did you leave me to suffer and keep feeling like there was no other explanation than that i was broken and going insane. would it really have been so bad to sit me down and go "i see you. i can't help much, but i can tell something happened and you're in a lot of pain. you deserve help and support. you're not going insane." or something. i don't know. my internal experience was mostly that i had suddenly become a bad child who couldn't seem to get anything right and was always being yelled at. maybe it would have helped if someone had said something.

all my love to other autistic people who just know jack shit. the ones who have no "infodump" locked and loaded, nothing they can rattle off the top of their head. the ones who have a specific interest in certain things but still not knowing a lot about it. autistic people who will never be able to memorise fun facts about something no matter how fundamental it is to them as a subject. the point of autistic interests are not being a secret expert on random shit, you just like it a real big amount