⋆˚࿔ When you go to places, do you think of me?
pairings: Frank Langdon x reader
content: no use of y/n!, complicated relationship, yearning!reader, you're avoidant and frank is stubborn ok? You're mentally ill btw... Shitty writing. Italics mean flashbacks!
summary: You thought you've forgotten about your old situationship, could you even call it that when nothing ever happened to both of you? Turns out works in the same department as you and you have to relive the memories of what could've been.
How could you ever forget that pretty face?
The face that would stare at you across the classroom back in med school.
The face that would comfort you when you broke down and held you when you felt like you couldn't breathe.
The glances across the room, the lingering touches, the small notes you'd pass to each other, giggling without a reason, how you would hold onto his hand a little longer when he passes you something.
You both didn't even have to talk to each other because the look you'd give were more powerful than words.
It started off as a joke, really.
You both were in med school and he caught your attention.
You thought he was attractive, that was it, nothing more, nothing less.
Before you knew it, you kept trying to get his attention.
Frank was the sweetest, he dotted on you, he was serious.
But for some reason there was a piece of you that kept holding you back from fully indulging in him.
Maybe it was the weight of med school, maybe it was because you couldn't believe a guy like him liked a girl as messed up as you. Till now you can't figure it out.
Classmates called you the moon and tide. You pushed and pulled him away, but he stayed, he always did.
The day he confessed to you was... Awkward. It wasn't because of him, it was because of you.
You were both sitting on a bench outside of the hospital you both were interning at. Talking about relationships, feeling of falling behind on it because med school was kicking your asses.
"But, what would you do if there was a person, who just wanted you, for you? Nothing else, he doesn't need anything from you." He asked, elbows resting on his knees. He's still in his scrubs, he looked like a mess from your crazy shift.
"Please, I'd be a attending before that would happen." You laugh, leaning back on the bench, "but it'd be nice I guess, that would be amazing."
You paused, what? Was he confessing right now?
"If you don't feel the same way it's okay. I understand, no pressure" he gave you that signature comforting smile.
Fuck. The smile made you weak.
You shake your head, "that's... Wow." You hum
He chuckles "I know, I know... It's sudden" he turns to you "but seeing you like this- all tired and- and cute, it makes me want to be with you... For long" he holds your hands.
"I swear I'm thinking straight." He tilts your chin to make you look at him "think about it? Please?"
"Okay, okay... We can try." You smile
You didn't know what you guys were. He treated you like a princess but you weren't his girlfriend.
You know you'll never find anyone like him.
Your chest felt like tight and your throat felt like it was closing up.
Cowered under the staircase, he was beside you.
He was helping you do the grounding technique.
"Give me on thing you can taste, baby." He rubs your arm, holding you to his chest.
Before you could say anything he kisses you.
All you could taste was... Him.
He was all you wanted, he was all you need.
People come and go. That's given. You didn't it expect it to be him.
Partially it was your fault, you were avoidant. When things got hard between you, you'd push yourself away from him, other times you'd ignore him.
Other part was that med school was just so hard between the two of you.
But you'd do everything just for him to call you his favourite one last time.
You've built an okay life when you got older.
You got your own apartment, a pretty little kitty at home, you've gone to therapy and worked through your problems. Now you have been transferred to the PTMC to continue your residency.
Imagine your surprise when you see Frank enter the building.
Shit. He was still as attractive as ever.
You actively avoided him. You don't think you can look at him normally.
You can't move on the fact you both ended in bad terms.
You can't move on the fact when you both graduated, neither of you looked at each other nor even congratulated the other when you both survived med school like you both promised.
No more glances across the room, no more approaching each other first, no more holding hands.
Hated the fact he didn't even reach out after.
You hated the fact that you didn't try either.
You wanted to tell him 'okay, you won, now can you stop ignoring me and please come back to me.'
It made you wonder, did you mean that little to him?
Your first interaction happens in the breakroom, you were brewing a cup of coffee when he came in.
"Hey" he smiled "it's been a while."
You guys talked for 30 minutes, he mentioned going out after their shift to catch up.
When you both clocked out and went to a nearby diner, you felt all the memories and feelings you've bottled up come back.
He talked about his life, he admitted he had a drug addiction and was in rehab, that's why you didn't see him when you first started in the PTMC.
You told him about your life too, it was nothing interesting.
The both of you talked about your past. Accepting each others mistakes and such. You both obviously still cared for each other, you got worried when one was upset and vice verse but both of your prides were too high to even talk to each other back then. You guys never had a chance to talk properly since the last year of med school was beating your asses up.
Their conversation lasted a few hours, they laughed, they joked, and they cried.
"You know, I only liked three girls in my life" he looks at you "One was a girl back in highschool, and one of them was you."
That made you smile "Wow, really? That's nice" was there a chance? To rekindle what they had?
"I'm glad we got to talk again and we're friends, i think it's better that we are better off as friends." He chuckled
Ouch. You felt your stomach churn.
"Yeah, me too." You look away "I'm proud of you for getting the help you need" you say, your eyes turn to look at your own hands than his eyes.
You couldn't be mad, you pushed him away, you shouldn't care. Why were you regretting it?
"I'm proud you got help too." He replied.
The food arrived and you noticed his bracelets.
He shows you his wrist "Yeah, my kid made it."
"Yeah, two!" He immediately scooted close to show you pictures of his family.
As you watched him swipe through the pictures, your mind stops listening to whatever he was saying.
You didn't know how much time has passed when you guys started saying your goodbyes.
You stand with him outside as he waited for his family to pick him up.
That pretty smile that haunted you for years were now smiling at his lovely wife and kids.
He smiles and waves, you do it back.
Years have passed, you thought you've moved on.
But why did you feel jealous that he has a new life and a family?
Why did you wish that it should've been you rather than that girl?
Where do you go from here?
You wondered if you meant as much to him as he did with you.
When he went to places, did he think of you? You pray that he does.
You can't lie but you've waited for his return, waiting for the random day he'll somehow get your number and contact you and ask if they could try again.
You only wanted him to be yours and you ruined that because you couldn't handle your emotions.
Standing outside a shitty diner in the humid air of Pittsburgh was not how you expected to end you shift.
You swallowed you pride and accepted the end of both of you.
But you can't move on the fact that...
What if you miss him for the rest of your life?
