A Room of One's Own

"Help, I accidentally became a valued community member, but I'm actually hiding my real identity as a bloodthirsty and vicious and powerful Marquis from my beautiful butcher wife who I love and her little sister, who I have come to love as my own little sister, both more than I've ever loved anyone since my mother died, and how am I supposed to maintain my reputation when these people find out who I really am, I have been so soft and caring and positively, visibly, aggressively smitten with my wife, did I mention she was beautiful and also really strong?" - Xie Zheng, probably

Collecting books is great until you have to move all of them at once and realize that every one of the little bastards weighs about as much as a brick and collectively have the mass of a neutron star

The only thing worse is magazines. They somehow manage to have an even worse weight-to-size ratio.

The worst part of moving books is not being able to complain about the inconvenience of it, without having to explain a dozen times that giving them away isn't an option!