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they dont tell you this but you carry your upset younger self in you like a parasitic twin

and here you are

Coca Cola flavored Oreos taste like if you could eat clipart

I think they add an important element of randomness to the environment. My father in law bought 6 or 7 boxes of the Selena Gomez Oreos so he could set a Selena Gomez Oreo alarm to go off mid workday and then say to his coworkers, "Oh, my Selena Gomez Oreo alarm is going off!" and unearth from his locker his 6 or 7 boxes of Selena Gomez Oreos so he and his coworkers could distribute them around the neonatal ICU ward where they work. He said it livened up an otherwise extremely dreary day.

Here's the thing: these are simply marketing tactics of predatory capitalism. Kraft manages to sell cheap, adulterated, imitation food at max profits despite the slop of it all because they've engineered an addictive consumer experience from the time you walk into the aisle space they've bought up in the market to the hyperpalatable product that never truly fills you up like real food would. The plethora of options, including the rotating, strange or niche, is by design there to flood you with a false sense of choice and empowerment. Anything to draw attention, engagement, and sales. In the age of social media taste testing and viral trends, they don't even need to try as hard anymore! Consumers promote the products for free. Kind of like this post. Anyways a wall full of a dozen options of slop is not freedom. It's a scary indication to the contrary. Well-studied psychological tactics of powerful and destructive companies such as these need to put us on higher alert.

Why must I be awake.

I wish it paid more

Today my Advanced Clinical Pathology professor trailed off in the middle of class and said, “If I seem distracted, it’s because last night I was talking with a friend and she asked ‘Who’s that chick in Titanic?’ but all I heard was ‘Chicken Titanic,’ and ever since then I’ve been thinking about a chicken on the bow of the Titanic like Kate Winslet, wings held high. It’s all I can think about.”

so rare and beautiful when the art is exactly the image u saw in your mind

Article about it here. 

what’s important to note and missing from the “headline” tweet is that they simultaneously constructed additional good public transit to the public transit already in the city (bus rapid transit, train stations). Just removing highway alone isn’t going to make traffic better, the bigger part of the story is that they improved public transportation. And the current mayor wants to do more - cyclist lanes and reinstate a tram system

we need to start legally protecting these like make this kind of bathroom part of the national park system

the postal service names their shit exactly like how a 16 y.o. names angsty fanfic

what companies who sell you anti aging stuff don't want you to know is that if you're chill about aging, your perception of attractiveness changes as you get older. there is no "wall" where you suddenly become ugly and unfuckable because in my experience what actually happens is you get into your thirties and suddenly realize that people in their thirties are hot as fuck and the "flaws" that the beauty industry wants you to panic about are a feature not a bug, and based on the std statistics in nursing homes I don't really expect that trajectory to change.

Anxiety is sort of like when you're walking around in Skyrim and the fight music starts playing out of nowhere and you have no idea why but now you're on edge except that feeling is constantly

ever since i was a little girl i knew i didnt have a competitive spirit

Embarrassing fact about me is that it took me so so long to be able to tell Ross Bryant and Grant O'Brien apart. I'm sorry guys you're both tall white dudes with similar-sounding names and very very similar voices. I would just wait for the first sex joke or Shakespeare reference.

I feel better now because everyone in the notes is like "yeah same".

You will never believe what they did in the current episode of game changer

Should've used more Grant-like fake grants but I can see why they didn't want to make the challenge completely impossible

I think any time anyone has a migraine $2,000 should be directly deposited in their bank account as compensation