8 foot vertical leap!

im full of too much whimsy (mental health issues)

Working at a sex shop has ruined me because I was checking out a booth at a public market selling bone-shaped collar tags that said shit like “I’m lost” and “pet me” and “spoiled” and it wasn’t until I saw “I pee when I’m excited” and thought damn okay kind of hardcore that it even occurred to me that they could be for like. ACTUAL dog collars 😭😭😭

tortured pervert tuesday

girlfriend keeps a kyubey plushie just to beat up when she's angry so sometimes i'm running down the list of questions to ask to help her figure out what would make her feel better and "do you want to hurt kyubey" is often one of them

was measuring out some sugar and i scooped out one spoonful and fucking said "two." i didn't know you could even lose count that fast

It's awesome how having a headache can just turn you evil. Head hurts and now I wish every good thing in the world would explode