The best magicians don't reveal their tricks.

bliss lane
Today's Document

tannertan36
I'd rather be in outer space πΈ
trying on a metaphor
wallacepolsom
Cosimo Galluzzi
noise dept.
tumblr dot com
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Sade Olutola

titsay
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
hello vonnie
Show & Tell

JVL

β£ Chile in a Photography β£

if i look back, i am lost

β

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@hawwwlucha
The best magicians don't reveal their tricks.

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i was thinking about the weirdest phone calls i got when i still worked at the public library and i remembered this one phone call. it was probably less than 20 seconds long, but it still makes me laugh.
anyways, this woman called and without even saying hello after i said the usual βpublic library, how can i help you?β spiel, she said, βi have a very important question: when you shelve books, do you push them all to the front of the shelf or all the way back?β
it took me a second to process the question and then i answered that, at the library, we always shelve them so that they are even with the front edge so theyβre easier to grab and see. she was obviously delighted by this answer and then, as if an afterthought, she asked, βokay, what about you? what do you do at home with your books?β i said i did the same thing. she hummed in obvious agreement and then just like that she said βthank you!β and hung up.
i never heard from her again. i hope she won whatever argument she was having.
for about a year, i worked at a call center for sprint. i have a similar kind of story. a woman called, and said she had a question about the call history on her bill. βsure, let me just pull up your account-β and she cut me off going, βno, no, itβs not anything specific, itβs just. so, if you change the time on your phone, does that change the time on the bill?β βuhβ¦ no? the time on the phone doesnβt matter, the call history is recorded by the towers.β βohhhhβ she said in the saltiest voice i have ever heard βso even if you changed the timezone it wouldnβt change the time on the bill? to, say, the middle of the night?β i stg yall i looked into the camera like i was on the office. βumβ¦ no? it would still be the local time of the tower. is there anything else i can help you with?β to me, overly chipper: βnope! thank you! have a great day!β turning on someone as she hung up: βshe says yoUβRE A LYING SACK OF-β i still mean-snicker every time i think about it.
i used to work in a call center for a roadside assistance company, from late 2015 to early 2016. it was easily the most miserable job iβve ever had, and the turnover rate was very high. people stuck on the side of the road tend to be quick to anger - understandably so - and it wears on you after awhile.
so i had been having a string of very time-consuming, draining calls. my line rings again, i steel myself for another angry caller, and i pick up. β[redacted] roadside assistance, how can i help you?β i chirp, in my Customer Service Voice.
βyeah, hi,β a gentleman with a thick southern accent responds. βmy motorcycle wonβt start.β
i brace immediately for another long call. motorcycles were notoriously difficult to work with - a lot of insurance companies wouldnβt insure them, and a lot of tow companies refused to pick them up because they require a specific sort of trailer.
βiβm sorry to hear that, sir. whatβs your current location?β
βoh, iβm just at my house. i was wondering if it would be okay for me to just load it into my trailer and take it to my buddyβs shop. would that interfere with my insurance?β
i click through his account and am Relieved to discover heβs in the clear. βNo sir, it looks like youβre good to go. Can I help you with anything else?β
A pause. βHave you heard the good news?β
My Anxiety, which had been receding, suddenly spikes into the fucking stratosphere. I live in the rural south. The βgood newsβ usually means βJesusβ and i was in no mood to be proselytized to for god knows how long.
i steel myself for the Religious Talk. βWhat news, sir?β
βMcDonaldβs is now serving breakfast all day!β
I laughed so hard I almost cried. I hope that guy ate as many hashbrowns as he could.
wyd after taking this

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Lucy is outnumbered by cats.
Calico out there putting tuxedo on the mats
Hehe, Brushbug. New episode of the anime tomorrow! Shirahama posted these to her twitter today.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
One of my favorite tropes is post apocalyptic towns being named after dilapidated signs with missing letters, like Novac (no vacancy) and Eaden (dead end). Thereβs something inexplicable about it
catch me in the city of fre shavaca do
now who kicked all those springs under the fridge
i have no explanations for this
im realizing very fast that people do not in fact know that sometimes things in stories suck on purpose and it sucking is the point
"this story is misogynistic!!"
>looks inside
>about the pressures of societal misogyny and how its bad

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
(via bsky)
In case anyone hasn't heard, the cyclospora outbreak affecting tons of people in the US right now is coming from Taylor Farms produce. Best to stay away from bagged lettuce and prepared salads completely right now, but especially the ones mentioned in the screenshot:
Taylor Farms Earthbound Farms Little Salad Bar (Aldi) Marketside (Walmart) Kroger House Brand Target private label greens Costco salads and greens etc Trader Joe's chopped salad kits and fresh produce Fast food: McDonalds, Taco Bell, (Yum! Brands), Chipotle, Subway, Pizza Hut, KFC, Olive Garden, Top Golf, Red Lobster, Burger King, etc.
This is not the first time I've heard about a Taylor Farms foodborne illness outbreak. I stopped eating their salads after reading a description of the conditions in their facilities. Doesn't sound like they've improved anything.
We need a fully funded and staffed FDA, and regulations with teeth - and that's exactly what we don't have under Trump. To make things worse, the CDC is no longer tracking these outbreaks. We're on our own.
If you are a collector of any kind, especially a vintage toy collector, you need to remember that YOU are the one who runs the market. It's your job to be a cheapskate. Never buy anything you think is overpriced, always scour facebook, yard sales, flea markets, etc., lowball people on second hand marketplaces to the point they get angry at you. Never let yourself be fooled into beliving this plastic cat is worth 70$