Gender is a performance and it’s time to play the music it’s time to light the lights it’s time to meet the muppets on the muppets show tonight
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@theorangeman3
Gender is a performance and it’s time to play the music it’s time to light the lights it’s time to meet the muppets on the muppets show tonight

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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project hail mary is insane bc the first half is like oh my god the world is dying and there's alien bacteria eating the sun and there's some guy alone on a ship and he's having a breakdown and the flashbacks are getting darker and this is a tragedy the likes of which i have never seen. then BAM andy weir says fuck you actually. here's this pokemon guy he's here to save the day with the power of friendship. and it's the best thing you've ever seen in your life
A new commission! Art by @kiyomides
CUUUUUUUUUTE
Concept: fairy tale where the wicked step-parent (who is of course also some sort of warlock) transforms the princess into a swan, as one does, but rather than running off to mope around in a lake and be beautifully tragic, the princess decides to stick around the palace and cause problems on purpose.
It is a beautiful day in the palace, and you are a horrible swan princess.
In my defense, who turns somebody they want to get rid of into a swan, anyway?
Like. Swans are gigantic, territorial, feather-clad balls of muscle and hatred. Also, magic is expensive and complicated and makes you grow an ugly little goatee - although maybe that’s just my uncle. Why would you even bother? Like, poison is right there.
Of course, unfortunately, my uncle has always subscribed to the philosophy of ‘why be evil if you can’t be dramatic about it?’.
Keep reading
Put this one on AO3 because why not.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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#i like to think data took him all the way to the brig tossed him in and left#and then came back 60 seconds later and was like ‘i believe i have successfully played a ‘practical joke’ on you :)’#riker loses it & claps him on the back like ‘wow. good job u rly had me going. dont ever fucking do that again’ Perfect.
Actually it’s 73 seconds. Data, knowing something of how human minds work, estimates that Riker will give him 60 seconds to come back (because humans prefer “round numbers”, however arbitrary the units). After 60 seconds it will take 4 seconds for Riker to fully process the conclusion that Data is, in fact, not coming back after all, and an additional 9 seconds to build to the optimum level of anxiety.
After all, comedy is timing.
The feared sting-ray
The elusive and mysterious StingRug
SNUG RAY
FUCK. i think i have to learn blender
the humble manual smoothie maker after they break their hands:
every day i log in here and get beat up by genies
HEY !!!!
the horse when asked what he would like for dinner
put a bullet in me already why dont you
hold on. everyone shut up. i need to cry about the concept of a touch-starved gun
A comic based on a dream I had the other night.
The idea of something imitating my dog and coming into my home sent chills down my spine
stopppp everyone absolutely needs to see this
So my dad was the assistant music editor on Tarzan, and idk if it was Bring Your Kid to Work Day or something but one day he did just that so there I was, this incredibly small 1st grader, in an absolutely cavernous recording studio with a full orchestra and a giant screen playing the scene they were taping the score for, and my little brain couldn't handle the big music and the big movie happening all at once so I started crying and it was the first time music ever brought me to tears and it was too much to take in so we stepped out of the studio and ran directly into Phil Collins, who looked to me very much like my dad, and in my delicate emotional state I became immediately convinced that my dad had been copied and nobody had told me so I started crying harder, and Phil Collins said something that was probably meant to be calming but it was with a British accent so I thought there was a copy of my dad in every country and I absolutely lost it at the notion that other kids would get to have my dad, and my dad ended up having to carry me back to the car.
So.
Sorry for crying very loudly at you Phil Collins, your work on Tarzan was so moving it triggered my first emotional breakdown.
the only thing that could top that clip is that story

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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You can really tell who actually grew up poor and who's been LARPing this whole time.
Cooking basic stuff doesn't require a ton of herbs and spices. Also, they can be found cheap. Also, once you have them they last a long time. I've had a full spice cabinet since I was 18. Like. You can get staples on hand.
Actually this is insane I'm not even entertaining the rest of these points
Cooking is absolutely a skill that requires some effort in terms of time money energy. But like. It's a survival skill.
If you can only cook simple cheap dishes then you can put in the effort to find and learn simple cheap dishes.
But like. Cooking is a skill that pays off. Once you know how to cook something you can do it forever. You can learn meal planning and substitutions. You can make up your own recipes.
When my mom and I were poor as dirt when I was a kid, she'd just make buttered noodles because that's all we could afford. We didn't order takeout.
Now that I'm an adult that can cook anything your heart desires? And has fed crowds for Thanksgiving and Yom Kippur breakfast?
My go to meal each week is just... Baked chicken breast or fish. Whatever was on sale. Then some kind of roasted fresh veg or microwaved can veg. I cook for an hour on Sunday and eat for the week.
Yeah learning to cook on my own was hard and intimidating and it sucked and took me a couple years and sometimes I'd fuck up and make something incredible and end up wasting money and ordering pizza.
But it's so fucking worth it. I can make good food and plan and eat cheaper and healthier. It's a skill for life.
"I need to cook at home, but I'm not even sure how to make authentic khao poon, and coconut milk and fresh basil are so expensive! And I won't even have enough basil left over to make pine nut pesto, so I'll have to buy more when I buy the pinoli!"
Actual poor meals: Noodles with garlic & sesame oil. Pasta with a can of Hunts tomato sauce. Pasta cooked in V8. Rice and beans. Pancakes for dinner. Etc. Etc. Etc.
Also spices and things are way cheaper if you go to an actual East Asian/Indian/Mexican etc. grocer instead of trying to buy it from the ethic aisle of Whole Foods.
Movement nudge!
X
Claymation
eridian children in Grace’s class interested but slightly disappointed to learn that much earth life is bilaterally symmetrical with even numbers of limbs
Grace going “oh!! But!” and teaching them about starfish, to their absolute delight
new eridian schoolchild trend of starfishing aka flopping flat down with all legs out and moving by wiggling and squirming around, giggling. parents hooting at Grace in despair. why did you teach them this

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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How to spring-load your bow!
This information is freely given. What you do with it is up to you! 🏹💐🧚🏼
Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.
At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.
At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.
“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.
The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.
I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.
I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.
I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht.
I’m not worth the cost of a watch.
i wrote this while i was working at orlando’s walt disney world parks.
i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.
as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.
disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.
at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.
i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.
i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.
we are both worth more than the watch, anyway.