Random Dorkiness

Think about it. Gods are fueled in part by mortal belief and prayer so Gods need to cultivate widespread mortal civilizations to maximize their following and thus their power. But the longer a mortal civilization goes on and the more advanced it gets the greater the possibility that one or more mortals will catch a case of the Old Hubris Shudders and take a swing at usurping the Gods, dethroning the Gods, banishing the Gods and cutting off their access to the Prime Material, or otherwise table flipping the divine balance of power.

If you're a divine being that's bad, so what do you do? You employ the good old Tower of Babble strat. Frequently.

Mortal societies getting the magic-tech version industrialized and starting to question the infallibility of their agricultural pastroalist deities? Wide spread famine will fix that right up. Elves building a continent spanning empire and the Emperor starting to crave immortality and worship like a god? Smiting the Emperor is a Standard Action and toppling his Empire with a rain of jaguars is a Bonus Action. A particularly rowdy group of wizards start planning to raise their city into the heavens where they might potentially be a threat? Turning all the wizards into undead and punting the tower into the Underdark for good measure nips that problem right in the bud AND creates a fun dungeon location for some mid level adventurers in a few centuries.

Odysseus: Regret it why?

Cassandra: You won’t believe me if I tell you. If I prophecy, nobody believes me. That is my curse.

Odysseus: … I’m Nobody. Fill me in. 

*A couple of months later* 

Odysseus: HELLO PENELOPE, I AM HERE PRECISELY ON TIME AND NOT YEARS LATE incidentally I rescued and adopted a Trojan seer while I was away, she’s great, got me home really fast, Cassandra this is your new mother who’s not going to treat you like shit. 

Penelope: … I’m going to need more details, but okay, sure. 

Sometimes you show others the courtesy you would want to be shown, and it’s not about whether they care. You care.

This is not metaphorical. I mean actual, literal pieces of paper/plastic/metal/whatever explicitly erected to inform the public.

“How did you know this was the right trail?” I read the sign.

“Wow, how did you know what that flower is?” There’s a SIGN.

“How did you know we needed to use the side door?” THERE IS A SIGN POSTED ON THE FRONT DOOR.

Just…why are we having such different experiences of the world? People can read. I KNOW they can read. There’s nothing wrong with their vision.

Just. READ. THE. GOD. DAMN. SIGN.

This also applies to:

Syllabi

Was that laughter really a sign of... enjoyment?

Next up someone is going to claim that the Narnia series isn't kids books.

I’m sorry but that’s thinking way too small, hear me out:

We need to have Miss Piggy as Odysseus, and Kermit as Penelope.

Think about it… who’s the more fickle, prideful, warlike one in that relationship? Who is absolutely ready to go ham, at a moment’s notice?

Also important:

Just to clarify my vision on a couple of these:

* by chickens I mean Muppet-chickens à la Camilla (Gonzo naturally would have some reaction to this)