Dan Shive

I wrote this short The Amazing Digital Circus fan fic to practice writing character action in a low-action scene and to try out indicating who was talking by action alone (“Pomni said” was not allowed, nor was leaving it to reader assumption).

I started by ONLY writing the dialogue (sans quotation marks), then wrote around it.

—

A generic NPC ambled over to the counter where Pomni was stationed.

Pomni squared her posture—as much as her cartoon Jester posture could be squared—and met the mannequin with her best customer service face. “Welcome to Spudsy’s. May I take your order?”

The NPC, one hand on the counter and the other on what passed for his chin, surveyed the menu. “Let’s see… Hm…” He vaguely pointed a hand at the menu. “I’ll… No, no…” He rubbed at his chin. “Uh… Hm.”

Pomni’s customer service face twitched as her posture tilted to one side. “If you’re not ready to order, could you—“

The NPC held up his hands with palms out. “Just a sec, just a sec, I got this.” He leaned forward with both hands on the counter. “I want… Uh… Oh!” He slapped the counter as his posture straightened. “Yes. Yes!” He slumped. “No.”

Pomni’s customer service face died, and she glared at the mannequin. “Sir—“

The NPC, elbows parallel with his shoulders and hands still on the counter, pushed what was meant to be his jaw towards Pomni. “Don’t rush me!”

Pomni’s glare turned to wide-eyed alarm as she looked above the NPC. “Sir, a line’s formed behind—“

The NPC slammed his hands once more. “They can wait!”

Through clenched teeth, Pomni’s voice came out a squeaky whisper. “One of them’s the Gloink Queen!”

The NPC might have blinked. It was impossible to tell. Hands never leaving the counter, he twisted his torso and neck parts just enough to behold several of the maternal monstrosity’s eyes staring daggers at him. “Oh. I… Sure.” He twisted back to Pomni and raised his right hand. “I’ll come back later.”

The indecisive Mannequin dashed towards the exit, his arms flailing as he cried out in terror.

Pomni put a hand to her chest. “Oh, thank gloinkness.” Her customer service face respawned. “Hello! Welcome to Spudsy’s. May I take your order?”

The many eyes of the Gloink Queen narrowed as she surveyed the menu. “Yes. I want, uh…” She twisted her maw. “Hm…”

“Right, so we’re agreed: We’re revisiting the Capital Wasteland and TOTALLY screwing with Bethesda’s lore out of retaliation for the TV show.”

“I propose we establish the lone wanderer did the Oasis ending that spread trees.”

“Awesome.”

“How about adobe houses everywhere?”

“Yes.”

“GUYS! Guys guys guys!”

“What?”

“Talking deathclaws.”

“Solid.“

“Can we reference TV shows we like?”

“All of them. Every last one.”

“Are ghosts on the table? I’m pretty sure we had a ghost once.”

“If not before, then now. Does anyone have Liam Neeson’s phone number?”

“Yes.”