Gizmo

—

Shane has been so good.

Secretly, he’s always broken the no sex rule during playoffs. It’s not that he means to; he’ll do just about anything to up his chances of winning that cup. But sex with Ilya is the one thing he can’t resist. He’s long past wondering why he can’t say no to Ilya. It’s a fact of his life, like the sun coming up in the morning or Hayden having too many fucking kids.

This year, though, he managed it. It’s his first year with his new team, and the playoffs aren’t just about winning this time. They’re about proving a fucking point. He was determined to take home that cup for Ottawa, if for no other reason than to rub it in his old team’s faces.

So for the first time in his career, he did it. He held out for a whole excruciating, impossible month. He dragged his eyes away from that perfect ass in the shower. He swatted Ilya’s hands away when they curled up in bed together. He said no to Ilya’s breath against his ear and Ilya’s teeth in his shoulder and Ilya whispering no one will know, kotik, with his mouth hovering below Shane’s navel.

Now he’s spread out on their bed with his wrists bound to the headboard, staring at his own warped reflection in the cup where it’s high on a table at his feet.

Fuck, he’s been so good. His jaw aches, his lips tender and bruised from letting Ilya use his mouth. He’d knelt on Shane’s chest and fucked his throat slow and lazy for ages, ignoring the way Shane’s cock bobbed above his belly. He took Ilya deep, hollowed his cheeks and didn’t let a single drop escape when Ilya finally, finally came down his throat.

Now Ilya’s got Shane’s legs thrown over his shoulders, lapping at his hole and making him beg for it. His cock weeps, his balls ache. They haven’t fucked in weeks, and Shane still hasn’t come.

“Ilya. Ilya. Ple—please. Need it, fuck, Ilya…”

Ilya hums, makes a point with his tongue and spears his hole. He kneads Shane’s thighs, presses his thumbs deep into the quivering muscle.

He still doesn’t let Shane come.

He tortures him like that for a while. He works two fingers in, twists and twists and presses and bullies his prostate until Shane’s made a puddle of precome on his abs, the head of his cock slick and swollen and nearly purple. Shane drags his heels on the bed and shifts his hips, rocks and shivers and sobs. He’s begging again, probably, but he has no idea what he’s saying until Ilya feeds his own words back to him.

“Yes, you have. You have been so good. So much discipline from the league’s biggest slut.”

Shane wails. His vision swims and he blinks and he blinks, hot tears rolling down the sides of his face and pooling in his ears. “Asshole,” he gasps. “Ilya, oh, shit, I can’t…”

“You need it?”

Shane nods so hard he makes himself dizzy. He keens his response because words are impossible.

Ilya refuses to show him any mercy. “What do you need?”

Shane grinds his teeth. His hole flutters, his cock flexes, and he tries to talk but all that comes out is “mm, nnghhh, nnn,” stupid little noises that make Ilya raise up on his elbows and laugh at him.

“Cock,” he gets out at last. “Need… need your cock…”

Ilya coos praise at him in Russian, probably, although maybe he’s calling him a stupid little cockslut. Shane’s too gone to translate.

The slick sound of Ilya’s fist spreading lube over his cock makes Shane’s cock flex. He spreads his legs wide, and he probably looks so slutty, hole all pink and wet and blooming open from Ilya’s tongue, but he doesn’t care. Nothing matters right now but the scalding press of Ilya’s tip teasing his rim.

“Do you deserve it?” Ilya taunts. Shane wants to kick him. He bares his teeth and tugs on the rope binding his hands until his fingers go numb.

Ilya waits there. He presses forward, almost dips in, then eases back. Does that again and again while Shane tries not to dislocate his shoulder pulling on the rope.

He won’t let him have it. Not until Ilya answers his question.

Oh well what do we have here...

Nothing to see here just office siren Shane Hollander turning on he's charm for he's team leader Mr. Ilya Rozanov.

(it's definitely working) 🌡️

vampire shane who typically has great control of his bloodlust. then, he sees this cocky annoyingly handsome russian and suddenly his fangs are dropping against his will. he's very obvious with his avoidance of ilya that people think he hates him but really he wants to jump his bones.

werewolf!shane that can't help but scent ilya. he needs everyone to know he's taken. ilya doesn't even know (he definitely knows) and shane feels so guilty but he can't stand seeing others cling to ilya.

But also it's about breaking and entering into sea world and making a janitor think you killed your best friend so you can escape, it's about gaslighting your coworkers into thinking you are the dumbest man alive, it's about only closing a mystery when it's as funnt as possible and making sure everyone else around you is as baffled as possible. It's about childhood and nostalgia and growing up in the most chaotic way you can. It's about people being killed with a t-rex skull, it's about slapstick and committing to the bit and being the silliest messiest bisexual on tv in 2006-2014.

Yuna and David are doing something (cooking dinner, out to the store, etc.) and Shane is giving Ilya the tour. An actual tour this time because they are at his parent's house.

Once Ilya sees the little practice rink, he lights up. The walls are splashed with Shane's youth trophies - snowplow sam badges in a case, tiny little baby skates, power-skating ribbons, pictures from his first tournaments, team jerseys from U8-16, his first hockey stick hanging on the wall, his first game winning puck on a shelf, his first tiny jersey. Ilya takes his time to comment on everything.

Then Ilya grabs a stick from the wall (one of the practice ones) and a puck from the bucket that hasn't been touched in a decade. Shane, never one to back down from a challenge, especially on home turf, grabs his own practice stick. There are no skates that fit either of them, so they just step on the synthetic ice with socks on.

And that's how Yuna and David find them, checking each other into the flimsy boards that are not meant for fully grown hockey players, firing shots into the little nets with enough force to knock them over, cursing at each other like there's a ref around to do something about it, etc.

I head canon that this is something that older Shane is very good and well known for (team loves him, enemies fear him, rules-lawyer Shane Hollander. You better put in the fuckin work or he will let the refs have you), and then yeah in an interview or something someday, some old coach or a ref of some timbits outfit or something gives an interview and brings up:

she has a limited window of opportunity for it to work after shane moves in and they're finding their new rhythms because shane gets up first, so he told ilya "i can handle anya in the morning since I'm up earlier" meaning letting her out, making sure she's got water, AND getting her breakfast served (because this is logical and ilya gives her her dinner, so yes. balance. fairness.), but ilya processed this as, "you stay in bed because you like having phone time before you get up, and I will let anya out and you can feed her when you get up," which is sweet because now ilya gets his extra twenty minutes of staying in bed without feeling bad when anya needs to go out, and he doesn't expect shane to feed anya because he already gives her dinner so why wouldn't he also feed her breakfast? (especially because i know that dog's bowl is COMPLEX. she is eating GOOD. she is eating the insta model breakfast plate of dog cuisine meant to create the ULTIMATE dog health foundation for the dog of a millionaire.)

and they do NOT know that this miscommunication has happened because anya always eats quickly even with her slow feeder, so by the time ilya gets up, she's by an empty bowl doing her 🥺 please 🥺 breakfast 🥺 routine, while shane is doing yoga in the gym.

and it is not until little miss is well on her way to content sausage roll that they discover they've been HUSTLED.

Like they invite him for drinks and he says he doesn't drink during hockey season and Bood just says "Oh that explains why you're so solid at hockey." Or Dykstra plays music and asks Shane if he knows this song and when Shane says he doesn't, Dykstra just says "That's fair, everyone has their own taste." And when they have a team BBQ and notice Shane's ginger ale, Hayes just says "Ginger ale is so good, I haven't had one in forever!"

Shane is just so anxious (in general) and waiting for the other shoe to drop. He finally tells Ilya that he thinks the guys might be making fun of him and Ilya seems shocked. He asks Shane if he wants him to confront them. Shane quickly says no.

Then the next day, Shane overhears the guys talking amongst themselves (they don't see Shane) saying "Hollander is awesome! Obviously at hockey, but I mean in general! Him and Rozanov are such a good match. I can't believe we get Hollander on our team! I swear my wife has a crush on him. He freaking charms everyone. I thought Rozanov was funny, but Hollander might be the funniest guy I know!"