Siren

So he works to get the pronunciation down, and finally springs it on him one day when Ilya’s just come in from the lake, hair air dried and floofy and he’s all open limbs and soft edges.

The moment the words fill the space, Ilya goes silent, and tears start to fall. Shane panics, and closes the gap between them to hold his husband close with a crushing grip.

‘What’s wrong? Did I not do it right? Did I say something bad?’

Ilya stays quiet for a moment, trying to control the inevitable break in his voice when he speaks. When it comes out, it’s wet, and wounded, like blood seeping out the mouth of an injured animal.

‘No, no. It’s ok- my mama, she-’ another small sob. ‘She used to call me that. I have not heard it in a very long time.’

Shane knows he doesn’t need to reply, or to fill the following lull.

He just needs to stand there. Solid and unyielding.

• holding ilya’s hand while they cross a busy street full of hazards (potholes, roadworks, etc)

• rescuing ilya from kidnappers (he kicks down the door)

• rescuing ilya from a burning building (bridal carry)

• fighting in a gladiatorial ice hockey arena for ilya’s hand in marriage

• massaging ilya’s bad knee and ilya says with wonderment “wowww wow. shane you’re so good at this… you are better than every physical therapist on earth probably”

• saying “he asked for no pickles” to the mcdonalds cashier

• carrying ilya’s bags

• washing ilya’s hair

• applying o’keefes working hands cream to ilya’s calluses

We also know that Shane has fantasies about Ilya Wet and Jerking It. (To be clear: This is my interpretation of the shower scene at the end of episode 4. I have Thoughts.)

So my question is for Ilya and it's: Hey dude. How long did it take you to remember THAT look on your Schroedinger's Boyfriend's face and realize how much he would actually genuinely like to watch you jerk off. Definitely didn't happen during their hookup era because Shane would have whined and scowled and probably ghosted for a bit if Ilya wanted to waste one of their precious few meetups on mutual masturbation. The order of operations for Shane goes: 1: Blowjob To Warm It Up 2: Dick in Ass 3: Give it to me baby 4 (optional): Showerhead shower head 5: Make NO EYE CONTACT as the beautiful slutty butterfly returns to the safety of his athleisure chrysalis. So we're working with a very narrow margin of error and absolutely no space for Antics.

These are always fun so I wanted to make one! Reblog this and let others send you an ask based on any of these emojis/questions:

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Shane Enabler Hollander: ok so Ilyusha this player has had zero assists in the entire season, he got drafted last, and finally - and this is crucial - he once scored a goal in his own team's net

"okay," shane says, after their plan has taken crude shape. the details will come later, after they put their phones down. "okay," he repeats, firmer. then soft again, "I'll see you soon."

ilya feels his strings get cut. he leans against a wall. "see you soon, shane."

svetlana is back in the living room when ilya returns. she whips around on the couch, phone in hand, says, "what the fuck did scott hunter do when I left the room? for five minutes?"

it's a rhetorical question. the tv broadcast has—for now—moved onto highlights of the actual game, but she has her social media open on her phone. ilya makes a vague, loose gesture with his shoulder. "kissed his pretty boyfriend on the ice."

she swears quietly, engrossed again in her feed. "unbelievable. it's your fault I missed it, ilya. your niece's gift is in your suitcase," she adds distractedly. it is. the whale plushie sitting atop the stack of kids' novels sitting atop his serviceably folded clothes. not as neat as hollander's always are. ilya runs his thumb over the edge of his phone case.

"svetlana."

"mm."

"I will not be going to russia."

she breaks from her phone. frowns at him. "what do you mean?"

"I have to be somewhere else."

"where?"

"ottawa."

blinking green eyes. svetlana knows him better than anyone on this planet. he sees her gears turning. there is nothing on the surface of his life that would take him to a place like ottawa, nothing even on the deeper layers svetlana has almost exclusive access to. but there are few things about him that she is completely unaware of. what he has refused to lay bare for her she's deduced the shape of anyway, purely from the nature of his refusals. he sees her eyes flick to the tv. an ad for beer is playing. that's not what she's thinking of.

"is it for a person."

she says more than asks it. either way ilya responds, "yes."

"jane."

"yes."

she lifts her chin, slowly. "montreal jane who is from ottawa." they look at each other, ilya doesn't speak. eventually she shakes her head. "shane hollander, ilya? really?"

It's the Hat

E | 3.2k | No Archive Warnings Apply

Hollanov | E6 Canon Divergence | Car Sex | Ilya POV

Ilya looks around for some trace of a cottage, but there’s nothing to see except for a bunch of trees and a road that tapers off to a dead end. “I can’t do this,” Shane says. -OR- Shane must have been God’s strongest soldier to see Ilya walk out of the airport in a backwards cap, sleeveless muscle tee, and aviators and still manage to wait two hours to jump his bones. What if he’d been a little weaker?

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