Siriskulk's Nerding

Flambae gathered the rest of the things from the bags before settling onto the rug between Robert, the bowls of chips, and the unopened cans of soda.

Without thinking, Robert scooted a little closer with Beef still in his lap.

The two of them sat cross-legged on the thick cream-colored rug Flambae had given him months earlier after noticing Robert always preferred sitting on the floor whenever they watched movies together.

It had taken Robert a long time to realize just how often he unconsciously found himself returning to that rug whenever he felt overwhelmed.

Now it simply felt like another layer of safety.

Robert was absentmindedly combing his fingers through the rug's soft fibers, when Flambae gently lifted Beef off his lap, finally catching his attention back.

"You okay?" Flambae asked, glancing sideways at him as he carefully got to work with Beef.

A wide elastic wrap settled snugly around the Chihuahua's chest without restricting his movement, applying a steady, comforting pressure. Flambae's fingers moved with remarkable patience as he adjusted it.

Robert nodded before asking, "When did you learn how to do that?"

Flambae smiled without looking up. He finished wrapping the band around Beef and tied it off—firm enough to stay in place, but never too tight.

"About five minutes before I came over."

Robert let out a quiet laugh.

He watched Beef's tiny eyelids slowly begin to droop as Flambae gently scratched behind his ears before fitting a pair of soft canine ear covers over them as well.

For a little while, a comfortable silence settled between them, broken only by Robert's playlist humming softly in the background. Then—

BOOM.

A distant explosion rolled across the night.

No. Not that distant.

That one had sounded much closer.

This time, Beef barely reacted.

Robert wished he could say the same.

His heart lurched painfully inside his chest.

Before he even realized it, every muscle in his body had tightened again. His breathing caught, then returned in short, shallow breaths that made his chest ache. Something heavy began building beneath his ribs, squeezing tighter with every distant explosion echoing through the neighborhood.

They'd started.

For real this time.

Another boom. Another firework exploding overhead.

Flambae moved so quickly Robert barely registered it. He shoved aside whatever was still between them and gently cupped Robert's face in both hands.

"I'm here, okay?" he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to Robert's forehead. "I've got you, baby."

Robert blinked, still looking slightly dazed, before giving a small nod.

His shoulders remained painfully tense.

"Could you..." His voice came out barely above a whisper. "...hold me?"

Flambae didn't hesitate. He shifted behind Robert on the rug and wrapped both arms securely around his boyfriend's torso, holding him firmly but gently.

"Tell me if this ever starts feeling like too much, okay?"

Robert nodded again.

But they both knew he wasn't going to ask Flambae to let go.

Having his boyfriend there was the only thing keeping him anchored to the present instead of slipping into the terrifying certainty trying to convince him that every relentless explosion outside meant danger — that something terrible was about to happen.

The explosions kept coming. One after another.

Unfortunately, the city's fireworks display was being held only a few blocks away from Robert's apartment complex. Every blast could be heard clearly, and every burst of color reflected through the glass balcony door.

Red. White. Blue.

Each flash painted the inside of the apartment before fading just as quickly.

Within Flambae's embrace, Robert trembled.

His chest ached with every shallow breath. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to put some distance between himself and the noise outside.

It didn't really help.

The flashes still painted the darkness through his eyelids.

After a while, they stopped looking like fireworks. They became something else.

Warning lights flashing across the control panel of his mech suit.

Alarms.

Foreign device detected.

Temperature rising.

Altitude dropping.

System failure.

Failure.

Failure.

Failure.

The suit's system voice repeated the same warning over and over as gravity itself seemed to disappear.

Metal creaked before panels tore free and disappeared into open air.

Thick black smoke swallowed the sky as he fell.

Fell—

—and the ground kept getting closer.

Another explosion. Closer. Louder.

"Bob?" A warm hand brushed gently against his cheek. "Babe?"

Another blast thundered outside.

Robert jerked violently in Flambae's arms before slowly shaking his head, trying to force himself back into the room.

"...Sorry," he whispered, curling in on himself even more.

"Don't apologize." Flambae's voice was gentle, but firm.

Both of his hands rubbed slow, reassuring circles over Robert's waist.

"It's stupid..." Robert muttered.

He shifted just enough to scoop Beef back into his lap, instinctively wrapping both arms around the little dog the same way Flambae was holding him.

"They’re loud, sudden noises," Flambae said quietly, resting his chin on Robert's shoulder. "It makes perfect sense that your body's scared."

His voice softened even further.

"You don't have to act like it's nothing." A small pause. "...Not with me."

Robert hummed weakly in acknowledgment. His body didn't.

His pulse raced so fast he couldn't separate one heartbeat from the next.

A quiet whine escaped him. Almost instinctively, he folded forward, shielding both his head and Beef with his body.

Sensing his owner's distress, Beef answered with a few gentle licks against Robert's cheek.

Flambae adjusted with him.

Without ever letting go, he leaned over Robert's back as much as he could, shielding him with his own body. One hand settled between Robert's shoulder blades. The other rested firmly against his chest.

No restraint. Just grounding.

"You're here, Bob," Flambae murmured. "You're home. I'm taking care of you."

He rested his forehead lightly against Robert's shoulder.

His heart was breaking.

He wished there were more he could do.

Another explosion echoed outside.

Robert flinched so hard his entire body jolted.

Carefully, Flambae lifted both hands and gently covered Robert's ears. It wasn't enough to block the noise completely, but it softened the more distant booms.

Then Flambae started talking.

About absolutely anything. About nothing at all. Whatever came to mind.

Every word became another layer between Robert and the fireworks, and that was all that mattered.

"Remember when Beef stole my burger?" he asked with a faint smile.

Something escaped Robert that landed somewhere between a sob and a laugh.

They stayed like that for several more minutes.

Little by little, the fireworks seemed to be winding down. The explosions grew farther apart, each silence lasting a little longer than the last.

Eventually, Robert let himself lean back again.

Ironically, Beef stretched with a sleepy little grunt, looking completely unbothered by the noise that had terrified him earlier.

Taking advantage of the moment, Flambae tightened his embrace just enough for Robert to feel another heartbeat besides his own.

A slow and steady one.

His hand found Robert's trembling fingers. "Can you feel my hand?"

Robert couldn't answer yet.

Flambae laced their fingers together anyway. "There you go."

He gave Robert's hand a gentle squeeze. "This is real."

Robert's breathing still wavered between shaky gasps and uneven breaths, but after a long moment, he managed a small nod.

Slowly, he turned his head just enough to look at Flambae.

Instead of words, he was greeted by another kiss, this time against his temple.

"I love you," Robert whispered, his voice rough, the words catching in his throat.

Flambae rested his forehead against Robert's and smiled.

"Yeah..." he murmured. "Guess I could say the same…”

Beef chose that exact moment to press himself insistently against Robert's stomach, demanding attention.

Robert stared at him for a second before lowering one still-shaky hand to stroke his back.

Soft fur. Warm. Real.

Beef answered with a single lick to Robert's wrist before climbing higher, practically scrambling onto his chest to shower his face with more kisses.

For the first time in what felt like forever, Robert managed a full, deep breath. A small smile tugged at his lips.

Outside, the neighborhood had finally gone quiet.

The fireworks were over. He wasn't being blown apart. He wasn't falling. He was home.