The Master of Allusion

blow up when confronted?

Morgan & Morgan. For the people.

Fieger Law: All We Do Is Win

I don't have a picture, but our area is flooded with a dude holding a comedically large hammer and looking to sue the shit out of any truckers that have injured you.

This is just how lawyers are.

#MyBaldLawyer

chaos control

#france in shambles. automation truly comes for us all.

How do people get so much done when there’s so little time

They abuse stimulants

It could hardly be called an extension cord

must feel good as fuck to curse a prince for being rude to you while you were larping as an old woman for no reason

Me, actually, I said that.

Which means

And drinking a beverage that’s sex in a canoe, fuckin close to water. Grow up old man, you ain’t got a waist to watch anymore, what are ya, afraid of flavour? If yer sippin coors, at least make it a banquet

You're really rippin the piss outta my American piss water with alcohol in 90 degree, in real money weather? Boy, Ima strike you. Do you wanna get striked or have half of a tasty sangweeche

Talkin about rippin and pissing, geriatric spic, I’ll rip your piss bag right off of ya and club you over the head with the overloaded thing, and just take your meal afterwards. Also it’s a good thing you’re not in jail, can’t even finish a sentence properly, drunk old lightweight, probably great at falling up a flight of steps.

Boyo, I'm not some incontinent geriatric fossil. There's no piss bag or depends here. Ain't pissed me pants since I was 3. I might be great at falling up steps, but that happens when you have a size 13 USA foot. Please don't make me strike you and show you why you wops let us stay in the roman empire to do the heavy lifting and be the muscle of the empire

Sounds like something a poopy pants bone bag would say. I aint afraid of you striking me anyways, go ahead and fire one of those bingo wings at me, your old ass would telegraph that shit long enough for me to sit down and have a coffee and dart before I got up to move out of the way. Telegraph, you know that word right? That’s what you old heads used to text with. Let’s get you to bed now, gray hair.

I see. Sledgehammer to your noggin is what you're asking for. You'd really make me go full on spic with you wouldn't you

Like Benatar said, hit me with your best shot. I make the entire state of Israel jealous of how my iron dome is better than theirs, I’ll shrug it off and still steal your lunch, and not even eat it.

can't go wrong with pastrami on sourdough