grumbling moss noises

Since DID is formed in development and prevents the integration of your personality, you have never lived as a singlet. You have no idea what it's like. Your symptoms are just generally "your normal", as well.

People can also naturally accommodate their own symptoms without realizing by simple trial and error. I used to write my math notes in heavy, near-excessive detail, since I knew there was a chance I wouldn't understand what I meant later.

I’m not diagnosed with anything yet so I’m not on any meds. And my coping skills aren’t very good.

I usually just use music and try to ignore things to the best of my ability. That helps with a lot of the more usual auditory hallucinations. Walls and floors moving are…hard. But I typically just reach out to feel them (and hope I’m not having tactile hallucinations too and don’t feel that move)

But things like feeling bugs on my skin. Or hearing disturbing things (screaming, loud extremely negative internal voices / intrusive thoughts, etc) I don’t really know how to deal with? And I was wondering you’d have any tips? The internet isn’t very helpful and I was wondering if someone else who experiences this stuff too might have some better suggestions!

Thanks!

My biggest coping skills are distracting myself from the hallucinations, and trying to ease my emotional reactions to them.

Music is great, but it can't really drown out the auditory hallucinations. In my experience listening to a YouTube video, watching a show/movie, listening to an audiobook or talking to someone is more helpful. These things require my attention, and for me to think about what I'm hearing, that way I'm not focusing on or thinking about the hallucinations.

I am a fan of the "putting your hands on the walls to feel that they are actually steady" trick. I've talked about it a long time ago on this blog, since I have experienced moving walls and floors a lot. I think it also is a very grounding experience. If you are hallucinating it can be very helpful to use a fidget toy or something else that is pleasing to touch (dry rice, sand, rocks, soft blankets, etc). It shifts your focus to something that is real, that you can feel and be comforted by.

For the other, maybe more distressing hallucinations, it can be very helpful to distract yourself. Consciously shifting your focus away from the hallucinations and onto something you enjoy. This can be a hobby like drawing or crocheting. Or something relaxing like watching your favorite TV show, or going on a walk. This won't actually stop the hallucinations themselves, but it will keep you engaged with something else, which can help you ignore the hallucinations.

In my experience, spending a lot of time focusing on and thinking about the hallucinations can make things worse (as in feel more severe, not change the amount of hallucinations). Luckily I have spent years coping with the hallucinations, to the point where now I can experience them and immediately move on, which is way less stressful for me. And that was a skill I learned after a lot of practice, and I'm glad I did. It won't be easy at first, but I do believe that it is possible to eventually ignore hallucinations to the point that they are just mildly annoying.

Also since you aren't getting treatment for the root of the issue (the hallucinations), the best thing you can do is try and treat your emotional reaction to them at home. This can be any self care activity that works for you. This will be personalized to you but it can be things like cuddling your pet, taking a bath, reading a book, applying makeup, baking your favorite sweets, making a cup of tea, calling a friend, etc. If you want more ideas you can turn to the internet but look for "self care ideas" or "ways to destress at home". Because hallucinations can be very distressing, and it's important to care for yourself during and after the experience. These things can overlap with the distraction techniques, either way it's getting your mind off of the hallucinations and onto things you enjoy.

I see your dishes are stacked! Laundry in the basket too! You're also bundled up cozy! That's all better than dishes all over every avaliable table/counter space and clothes piled on the bed or floor!

Psychosis can be caused by many different things.

Mental illnesses/mental health issues that can have psychotic features are schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, schizophreniform disorder, delusional disorder, brief psychotic disorder, bipolar disorder, depression, PTSD, and postpartum psychosis.

But you can have psychosis that is not a part of a mental illness at all. It can be caused by physical conditions like brain injury, brain tumors, dementia, HIV, Parkinson's disease, Huntington's disease, stroke and fevers.

Other things that can cause psychosis are drugs, certain medications, sleep deprivation, trauma and stress. It's also possible to hallucinate while you are falling asleep and waking up (hypnagogic hallucinations and hypnopompic hallucinations).

If your parents genuinely changed and improved overtime

If your parents were absent when you were a kid because they were sick / ill / working / otherwise indisposed

If your parents were not your abusers

If your parents would have acted differently if they knew you were being abused

If your parents didn't have the resources or knowledge to help / understand you

If your parents were loving and yet still neglectful

If your parents inadvertently invalidated / didn't believe you, but now do

If your parents weren't your primary caregivers when the abuse happend

If you weren't abused at all and your trauma was medical / environmental / etc

Had emotionally and physically present parents but you still had disorganized attachment with them as a kid because of your delusions / paranoia / etc.

If your parents regret how they treated you

If your parents loved and love you but acted the way they did because of substances / mental illness

If your parents are not completely bad people, or bad people at all

If you still get alone with your parents regardless of what they did

If you ever invalidated your own traumatic childhood experiences because your parents were "too nice"

systems who haven't discovered they're systems yet leaving the inside out 1-2 movie theaters: thank god it's been proven normal by a metaphor in a popular movie that it's just a natural human thing to have conflicting identities with opposing feelings on our life! and also to only feel exactly like the fictional character "ukulele pichu" from the game i played as a kid when im being yelled at to do dishes by my controlling parents. i was starting to feel like maybe i was different than other people.

discovered/diagnosed systems leaving the inside out 1-2 movie teacher: did you hear that, sephiroth? they have memory pod themed popcorn containers that glow.

[Text: This Systems innerworld has a desert.]

Especially for things we experience.

So, have some positivity.

Systems with only members in the single digits, we get you. I know it feels difficult to exist here when there's seemingly no one else like you.

Systems who hear no voices, we get you. That doesn't make you any less of a system, that doesn't make your sysfolk any less real.

Systems with high split tolerance or systems who don't split anymore, we get you. We don't think we've split in years. That, or our last one was the first in years.

Systems who mask nearly perfectly, we get you. Often that's exactly how a system is built to function. It doesn't mean it's any less difficult or real for you.

Systems who have no roles, we get you. I'm the only sysfolk in ours that has really claimed any role.

Systems who use the term "core," we get you. We only stopped for fear of being derided, but no one should police how you label yourself. If core feels right to you, then it feels right to you.

Systems who have confusing insys relationships, we get you. I'm in one, despite not having a headspace. It's hard to describe and I'm alright with that. It doesn't make mine or yours any less real.

Systems with sysfolk that fit stereotypes, we get you. I fit the "evil alter" stereotype when I'm not wearing my mask. I'm tired of folks claiming having one is villainizing systems. Sometimes it's simply how the world made us.

Traumagenic systems who don't know their trauma and/or don't care to know it, we get you. Ours is only vague feelings of what happened. Some of us don't care to know and some of us need to.

Systems who use "odd" language for themselves, we get you. Hell, we use sysfolk. We're certainly not in any place to judge.

Recovery isn’t always nightmares and depression, it’s forgetting to eat, being scared of what others might see as completely normal things, it’s getting random panic attacks, not knowing how to take care of yourself, not knowing how to live like an adult, even if you’re twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, of feeling like you’re failing to function in a world where everyone seems to have their shit together. 

If you need help, ask for it. Go to forums and ask for advice. Take advantage of community resources. Buy pre-sliced veggies and fruits, eat instant meals if you can’t cook for yourself today. Hire someone. Ask a neighbor for a favor. Buy any item you think might make life easier, even if you feel like you aren’t ‘disabled’ enough to have it. 

Some of the depression posts (ie open your windows, take a shower, go outside, call a friend) are really helpful but they’re not always enough. I’ve found advice for spoonies, people with chronic pain or other disabilities have the best tips because they know what it’s like to be bedridden, out of energy, stuck in a brain fog. 

You may never return back to the energy you had when you were younger and you might always need to use crutches to help you through life. It’s the same with medication. 

Trauma is a real thing that happens to you, it physically alters your brain and it’s alright to have lasting scars. 

You’re not broken, your life is not over and you can still be happy. 

Accepting commissions for alter headshots and reference sheets via Ko-fi :3 comment if you’re interested.

Open to negotiation if the prices are too high for your budget!

Just doing some art for the community and for people who need art of themselves to feel comfortable!