Its a miracle I have made it this far

Yours is the only funny and correct addition to this post

Chocolate guy has learned how to make corrugated cardboard. he is a powerful eldritch being who cannot be contained. The only reason we seem to be alive is because his interests are exclusively in the making of delicious lifelike desserts.

PACKING TAPE?? fucking PACKING TAPE??

i am not my mother and i am not my father but a third worse thing

their daughter

what if i *remembers that making suicide jokes is not conducive with my goal of improving the wellbeing of myself and everyone around me* transform into an oyster

My deepest darkest fantasy is that I collapse on the street and I am rushed to the hospital. They perform a bunch of tests and find out I am severely deficient in some kind of vitamin. Then I start taking the vitamin and I become the happiest cleverest person alive because all my problems were caused by this one deficiency

Moreover, everyone gathers around to be tremulously compassionate and discreetly admiring: all this time, you lacked the Vitamin? And yet you persevered?

the internal tension between being a prickly judgemental cunt and someone who loves people to the point of tears has resulted in a maxim i like to call Everyone Is Beautiful and I Hate Them So Much

Sure everything is twice as expensive as 3 years ago but at least we also didn't beat covid

whatever i literally dont care 😎 <- cares so much that it feels like my organs are tearing themselves apart in my chest

I like saying "I'll allow it" only in contexts where I have no power or authority

unfortunately if you are an old friend of mine i will always care about you no matter what even if we haven't seen each other in forever because i still remember what you were like 7 years ago and i still remember how it felt to be young with you and i still have a lot of love for you in the back of my mind

haha i like you. I’ll be growing on you like moss now if that’s alright