Knick Knock Knick Knock

its pretty simple all you need is a fuckbuddy a better job a good therapist welbutrin clothes made from high quality natural fibers a good diet lots of water a social network a supportive family a fulfilling hobby a comfortable bed two hundred dollar leather shoes sun exposure (but not too much) a silk pillowcase a workout routine an education rich parents a 401k a trip abroad a plan for the future a short commute no debt a hair stylist you trust white teeth no roommates wool socks a costco membership good insurance a screentime limiter clear skin a healthy sleep schedule and a blunt!

I am whatever the opposite of a speed runner is. I am a game meanderer. I have to look at literally everything. I am overly cautious in every way. I forget to pause and wander away from the game. I take a minimum 7 hours to get through any given level. If you give me a timer I will cry.

Capitalism exists only due to knowingly false projections of infinite growth within its finite system. They are struggling to maintain this fictional ideal, as basic exploitation is no longer sufficient to slake their greed. If more cannot be scraped from the bottom of the barrel, then more must be done with less. Liberal solutions will only limp this beast along. A new model independent of greed is needed.

parents will be like "We're good parents! We did our best!" while their child is alone in their room, terrified of footsteps, unable to conceptualize being loved by anyone.

parents will literally ruin a child's life a dozen times over and break any hope of ever being seen as a person instead of a burden and instill them with a lifelong aversion to ever taking up space or making noise or using resources or existing and then be like "i know i wasn't perfect but you must understand i did my best" and demand your forgiveness

just google it. just duckduckgo it. just bing it. just turn off the AI summary. just ignore every website called ReviewsOfThingYouWantToBuy because those are fake. just ignore top 10 lists because they suck and make money from affiliate links. just ignore everyone who gives a 5 star review because those are not reliable. just ignore everyone who gives a 1 star review because a lot of those are user error. just remember a lot of people are using the product wrong. just ignore reviews from everyone who got the product for free. just put every online listing through fake review checkers. just look through everyone's review histories to make sure they are not obviously bots. just look for reliable sellers. just look at the reviews of the sellers. just look through the profiles of people reviewing sellers. just google every seller you look at to make sure there is not a huge thread somewhere about them scamming people. just write down the specs of everything you look at. just ignore tiktok. just do site:reddit.com. just ignore this list of subreddits because they are biased and have bad opinions. just look through everyone's reddit accounts to make sure they are real people. just be a little more cautious if someone's reddit account has their post history hidden. just keep in mind this list of sellers that fuck everyone over. just remember these two products are similarly named but very different. just remember that all of these specific brands are always shit. just know that this one brand spends more money on advertising and brand recognition and only sells dogshit. just note that everything this other specific brand offers is 10x more expensive but all their products are amazing and last forever while this other brand that has affordable products only has a few specific good products and the rest are junk. just save up more. just memorize the list of which affordable products are junk. just try and guess which of the new products are junk based off of advice from years ago. just ignore anyone who recommends Popular Thing because those people have bad recommendations based off of limited experience. just ignore everyone who uses an affiliate link because that means their opinion is biased. just ignore that everyone uses affiliate links because everyone does that now. just use the reddit search. just use the reddit search again. just use the search with these very specific abbreviations because nobody who knows anything types these words out all the way anymore. just look at the sidebar with all old information. just look at the dead threads nobody answers. just ignore all the deleted posts. just try to guess what the deleted posts said. just look at the dead wiki. just look at the discord. just make a discord account. just read pages of rules on the discord. just use the secret catchphrase that indicated you carefully read the pages of rules. just go through the discord. just look at the old dead forum. just search through the old dead forum. just wait a few minutes in between searches because the forum rate-limits you for not having an account. just make an account for a dead forum. just use a unique username. just pick a password you do not use anywhere else. just use a new email not associated with other accounts in case the dead forum gets hacked. just ask on the dead forum. just bookmark this page to see if this formerly reliable website ever gets it back in stock. just remember that advice older than a few years is no longer reliable. just remember this list of sellers that used to be good but have gone completely downhill. just look at graphs of price history to know when to buy. just install this plug-in. just remember this one overly specific piece of buying advice that is so obvious to everyone knowledgeable that it rarely gets stated outright and took you hours to even find. just open another tab. just open another tab. just open another tab. just do all of this every single time you buy anything to make sure you get something good and avoid buying overpriced shitty garbage and you are absolutely golden !!

You fucking wish the author was dead. The author is on twitter

2 sentence horror story

How the fuck am I supposed to find a job that doesn’t suck ?

No one talks about how exhausting it is to be sad for essentially your entire life!!!!!

Always a delight to find out that a silly guy is also a horny slut

Concept: we are together. you are sleeping with your body wrapped around mine. it is quiet. my mind is calm. we are happy.

you're on vacation with your kids im dying in real life

A job is a stupid, meaningless thing. You should be focusing more on having gay sex

Ask yourself, do you want your gravestone to say "guy who worked really really hard" or "guy who fucked nasty. Gay style"?

A lot of straight people feel VERY comfortable looking directly at my phone like baby don’t go there, every app that can show naked people/me DOES