Keep Moving Forward

When people compare the greatness that is The Simpsons to other animated shows like Family Guy it makes me want to set myself on fire

I went on a date last year and jokingly said “Don’t ask me I’m just a girl” and giggled at a 35 year old man thinking he’d get the reference and instead he said “that’s what I like to hear.”

#that is when you start shoving breadsticks in your purse

People always gloss over how mentally damaging it can be to work in retail. I fucking hate that whenever I say “I could never work in retail again” someone has to reply “You snowflake millennials can’t take a starter job because you have to INTERACT with other people” No. Fuck you. I’ve worked as a planetarium host. I’ve worked as a public speaker. I’ve worked as a tutor and as a student teacher. I can work with people. I can work with crowds. Retail was fucking different. Retail was being treated as a subhuman. Retail was being treated so poorly that you have anxiety attacks before work. Having to work retail was a factor in my last suicide attempt. If I hear you say one fucking word about retail workers playing the victim I will personally break every bone in your body. Fuck You.

The holidays are coming up. Retail workers are going to be spiraling into a nightmare beyond human comprehension. If you’ve worked retail, you know this. If you haven’t, be aware of it. Please be kind to every retail worker you come across. Please be patient and understanding. It is misery out there.

Y'all ever realize just how fucking low the bar is and how far under it we’ve dug?

I truly had no idea this would pick up so much traction but i’m glad to know we’re all in the same boat of living out unrealistic fantasy scenarios re: intimacy and home ownership

me, sobbing: And they had game night with friends and everyone took turns hosting and everyone was okay.

omg everyone was okay

THANK YOU

The story of Balto is interesting. He led a team of sled dogs across the Alaskan wilderness in the dead of winter with diphtheria antitoxins to stop an outbreak in Nenana Alaska. Diphtheria is a deadly infectious disease that could wipe out a third of a town’s population. It is mostly unknown to the public today because of vaccines. Balto’s body is preserved in the Cleveland Museum of Natural History.

He’s a big hero of mine!

Togo and Balto didn’t bust their asses for dying children for you to turn around and not vaccinate your damn kids

*tips fedora at mosquito* m’laria

i briefly thought about making a three way venn diagram of fictional couples where i am attracted to both parties but were not ready for it and you will hate it

wait i’ll make it but you guys have to be my psychotherapist and label it for me. hold on while i assemble this

thank you i literally feel like ive had a therapy session at this point

I thought this was a movie theatre and I was like weird flex but okay

Listen. It does not matter what kind of student u are. The minute u sit in the back u have no idea what’s going on and the minute u sit in front u suddenly ask every dumbass question that flits into ur brain. We are ruled by the Seats and it cannot be changed, only overcome.