I AM NOT AFRAID TO KEEP ON LIVING

rebecca black was right. It’s Friday

my sister’s bf referred to eating cheese as “mousing out” and i’m so utterly charmed by that. can we all agree to adopt that into language.

Coworker (60) was cursing under his breath to himself trying to get something to work on his computer. Other coworker (25) asked, "Are you winning son?" which went unanswered for quite a while, until finally coworker (60) very quietly went "..........'son'?"

This made me feel like a crazy person

a trans man who hasn't had any ovaries for 25 years isn't going to experience perimenopause in his mid-40s, so why include him based on a gender assigned to him as a baby? like... he was a baby.

like why bother acting like you want to be trans-inclusive if you're too lazy to recognize that sometimes, trans bodies aren't going to be the same as they were at birth when they got handed their baby gender

at the grocery store getting mad at the fruit and vegetables for thinking so highly of themselves when just a few years ago they came home with me for 99 cents

gonna have to become a dark broody rich and handsome mafia leader and walk by the isle teasingly, what are you shivering for baby girl? the grocery water spray too cold or you just happy to see me now that I'm not unemployed and broke

well maybe i'm the slur cw america

Fandoms stopped being a fun escape from reality when people started spreading the belief that you should prioritize purity over pleasure and the art you create must be a reflection of your moral standards at all times.

imagine being a dog and you think your chances are pretty good. and then you look over and there's Mitski getting her wallet out

This man nearly died to create this for us. The least we can do is watch it from start to finish and then share it immediately.

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.