| stay sharp || be soft |

i don’t support copyright law (mostly) but i do think people need to get comfortable with citing their sources and giving credit where it’s due

think about lesbian sex on. the. clock.

even when they're playing taylor swift in the lobby. You can't break my spirit you vile woman

I hate to break it to you but all of Taylor Swift’s songs are about lesbian sex

if you went outside and interacted with real life adult humans you would discover so many wonderful things

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

efforts towards a "positive vision of masculinity" or whatever are so funny because what these guys are trying to figure out is literally "what's a way of being a good person that's Not For Girls™"

everyone is meeting me in the grotto

idk i would personally rather give up access to certain products seasonally or locally than have people enslaved to give me the ability to have any product any place any time. i think i can go without tomatoes in january.

its 10 AM on a weekday .

Isn't there an industrial boiler you're supposed to be maintaining

me when i FUCKING get you *image of two mourning doves cuddling*

i wish there was a way to say "you're right, but this is really ineffective and even counterproductive messaging to anyone who doesn't already agree with you" without sounding like an asshole

helpful tattoo reminder: they are technically Injuries so u have to eat a lot of calories drink a lot of water and sleep a lot after so your body can Heal The Injury

another helpful tattoo reminder: the 24-48 hours after you get a tattoo your brain can not be trusted in regards to whether or not you should have gotten that tattoo, if you have somehow ruined your life, if it turned out ugly, etc. ignore that

finally, while i am at it: always bring a candy bar and a sugary drink to your appointment for blood-sugar reasons (worst case scenario) or so you can have a treat (unilaterally applicable)

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.