The Discoveries of the Consonants

this is going around again and the tags are full of people talking about printing it out to put in their breakroom or cubicle or sending it to their coworkers, which fills me with great joy. vast diversity of professions represented also. zoos. labs. summer camps. restaurants. garden centers. libraries. schools. many reports from the brave warriors of assorted retail. a truth universally acknowledged: if there is a sign a customer will not read it <3 and they don't read emails either <3

puppy cut flan 🍮🔪

incredible puppy cut the flan technique

badass flan slice performed by small type dogy

self-awareness check, list five things you like that aren't media pieces in the tags now ‼️

but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

still not on mount everest this morning 😌 alhamdulillah

"i danced with death" yeah well i slowly ran from him all frail and daintily in a cunt-honoring way

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

Counter point, those machines can make me a peach sprite.

guys did you know the tech in that nefangled machine revolutionized preemie healthcare

You DON'T get this on any other site in quite this format.

It is really funny how much some tumblr users build their understanding of what is taboo in a degenerate immoral fashion vs what is taboo in a subversive radical fashion exclusively on aesthetic appeal so they’re willing to drastically alter their moral stances based on what media they’re obsessing over currently

Blogger obsessed with posting about sexual cannibalism and toxic doomed yuri complaining about incest fetishization… you’re two Ginger Snaps gifsets and a Flowers in the Attic excerpt away from trying to recreate Single White Female with your mutuals