The angels are here !

where do you think hypervigilance, random dissociative episodes and mood swings come from in PTSD? often from the fact that we have specific triggers that we cannot quite avoid, because it's a regular thing in daily life, or because we don't even know what's the exact trigger is, how to describe it to avoid it. or that the trigger is a Specific Situation, so while you can avoid "TW abuse" labeled stuff or such, you can't know if the abuse is similar to your experience or not. sometimes you get triggered, sometimes you don't.

you know what's my weird indescribable trigger is? when you're excited to have a good time or you are having a good time, but it goes really fucking wrong and upsetting cuz of a small unimportant thing. nothing UPSETS me like seeing / hearing someone expect to have fun, and then something fucks up and they are not having fun. it happened to me repeatedly that I'll go from "yay I'm spending time with both my parents <3" to "why do y'all always have to fucking argue over smallest things. I don't want to be here anymore." even writing this makes me quite sad and tearful.

it sounds so corny, because I do NOT believe in anything of this, I repeatedly told her I do not share her beliefs.

I remember there were moments:

he was coming to a Gala, and some female character (can't remember who) teased him and pointed out that he has that vein on his forehead that bulges whenever he's mad.

he was looking into a mirror, and his eyes were black pits with blood dripping down his face. he hurt himself, looked again, and his eyes were back to normal.

when on a mission as Nightwing, he gets caught by Joker, and then thrown off a great height. he doesn't try to do anything and almost accepts that maybe he'll die, but he gets saved by Superman in the last moment.

while staying at the manor, he had a big hallucination where the room was filling with blood.

when he was hanging out in the common room (?), there was a moment where he looked at everyone and their faces or heads were severed and dismembered somehow. like, i clearly remember they all had different injuries and it was described in great detail. then he looked away, looked back, and it was gone.

he had a nightmare where he was walking on corpses of everyone he loved, and i think it ended with him getting caught and being drawn down into the corpse pile?

he was laying on the couch in the common room (?), covering his face with one arm. Tim walks by, and notices cuts on Dick's arm. i think Dick just asked Tim to not tell anyone and that he's handling it, and Tim told him he can talk to him anytime if he needs. (?)

while walking by the common room once, the rest of his bat-siblings were there, and Dick overhears that they all think he's annoying and such. (i cant remember this clearly, so im not sure if this is actually in the same fic)