#plural problems

IT'S NOT THAT I FORGET WHAT THE OTHERS DID IN FRONT, IT'S JUST THAT I DON'T FULLY PROCESS IT UNTIL I'M IN THE FRONT, AND EVEN THEN I NEED A MINUTE SO I END UP LOOKING LIKE I HAVE AMNESIA.

IT'S NOT ALWAYS LIKE THAT. IF I'M CO-CONSCIOUS WITH SOMEONE ELSE BEFORE I FULLY COME INTO FRONT, THEN I CAN PROCESS IT AHEAD OF TIME.

BUT IF I JUST GET THROWN IN OUT OF NOWHERE? IT'S LIKE I WAS TAKING A NAP RIGHT BEFORE GETTING SHAKEN AWAKE AND THEN HAVING A SHOT OF NEW INFORMATION GET INJECTED DIRECTLY INTO MY SKULL.

IT'S A LITTLE OVERWHELMING, AND *REALLY* DISORIENTING.

me being the only child: what, huh

mom: yeah, we have two kids, actually. Two in one face. Since you seem to have a split personality with how aggressive you are during the mornings. (exactly how she said that)

So I was having this conversation with one of my headmates, because internally, we sometimes talk to each other in English and sometimes in Spanish in the same conversation. It's obvious when we look at our discord messages:

We talk to eachother interchangeably in the same conversation, because we all understand both languages. However, both Leo's and Orion's first language is English, while the rest of us are Spanish. Now that I think about it, it may be related to the fact that both of them are the only fictives in the system (Orion is not technically canon to his source but Leo sure is), and when I (host) cosumed both of their sources, I did so in English.

-🌪️

Ok people give you shit for meds in mental health spaces but what about for when the med genuinely helps you, in like everything motivation, organization, finally kicking that shitty brain fog to the curb and remembering more than one thing at once for once. I’m so happy, like genuinely happy. This is different from my mania or depression. I don’t feel passive or like a watcher of my life, which I have felt since last July. It’s been so hard since then, and then some relationships fell through and honestly good riddance, it was adding to the stress. Guess I’m just an anti-social system person, whatever. I am introverted. I’m just happier by myself and with a handful of friends and my necessary connections of work, lab, and grad program, and my med has finally got me out of that damned funk.