allure of darkness

[pm] You really know how to inspire hope.

[pm] More than you know.

[pm] I knew you wouldn’t get this. I knew that I’d be alone in this, but you have no idea. I love him the way I could have loved you, almost loved you, but I want your life to be so much less complicated than it is because you deserve that at least. But I’m fucking drowning here, Reza. I miss him. I miss him. It wasn’t even serious and I feel more alone than I ever have before. God, I wish you could just fucking be there for me, but I know you can’t.

I’ll try my best.

[pm] I didn’t do anything. Someone drugged him and I didn’t realize it at first, or maybe I did, but he was so nice and I thought… I dunno, maybe I’d earned that. Monumentally stupid, I know.

Also, the person who drugged him may not be alive any

I might have a mental breakdown. 

[pm] Sounds like he got what he earned You’re right, he does sound monumentally stupid. I’m glad you won’t be seeing him ag

[pm] Fair enough, it’s a lot of look, hard to pull off. Glad it worked out for you. All else fails a set of headphones and a ‘don’t talk to me’ look gets the message across. Yeah, sure there’s probably some comedy gold in there but sorry, not in this universe.God no. I drew the line right at that flattened middle part hair and general glower she had going. Still had her beat for death glares. 

I hear those are pretty exclusive, they’re a cliquey bunch. When you say ghost party Ghost Party, that a euphemism?  So, you’re there when some classmates die and the reaction is to make you the next Charles Manson; sounds like high school. Sounds like you got dealt a shitty hand. That’s the stuff that would make anybody want to bail. 

[pm] Y’know, still to this day, people don’t respect the headphones. I mean, if you wanna see if there are some gateways to the other dimensional Ashkent Creek then I’d be willing to see the photos there? Damn, no checkered skirts either? Also, my own knowledge of Avril Lavigne is surprising me. 

Ah, what am I if not a clique man? As much as I hate the thought of that being a euphemism, I wish it had been. But no. A girl who was apparently a witch summoned a ghost that apparently was Bloody Mary. You might, uh... maybe even remember that epidemic if you were in town at the time? Yeah, I guess I could have handled it if I didn’t think that hanging with my boyfriend at the time was a better idea. So. 

[pm] 

[user attaches a screenshot of the most recent message from Owen without commentary]

[pm] You’re gonna kill me and I’m honestly okay with that.

[pm] Not trying to make you feel shitty. This is just where I’m at in life. 

I’m back in Ashkent, sluts! Anything fun happen while I was gone? xx

Depends how long you’ve been gone. Also, who are yo

Kind of what I deserve anyway.

Well, when you put it like that, I guess it loses it’s edge. Also, we live in Askent Creek. The odds of me making it to 30 are already pretty bad and I’m still full of bad decisions to make. Just let me have a cool death, Reza.