Hard Charging Bullshit Artistry

@haropla

love when ppl ask to see pics of my axolotl and are expecting something cute + pink + all smiles and instead with genuine fear in their eyes, and in their heart, say WHAT the fuck is that.

"Multiple leviathan-class lifeforms detected in the region. Are you sure whatever you're doing is worth it?"

this is super cool! I had no idea

This is among the coolest things I’ve ever seen.

The world is so much more beautiful, fascinating, and complex than we know.

A tourist murders my sister, steals her shoes, and accepts a mission from my political rivals to literally murder me? And I’m the villain???

You owned slaves and were literally named the wicked witch

they were flying monkeys, and that defamatory nickname was chosen by, once again, my political rivals 

what the fuck is happening

OP, dare I ask what you think of the Wicked novels versus the Broadway show?

Curried lentil soup, where you fry up some onion, ginger, and garlic, add a generous amount of the curry seasoning of your choosing (Indian curry paste, thai curry paste, curry powder, etc), then add in some carrots, fry a little longer. Add maybe 3-4 cups of stock (if you're using a very salty stock and a saltier curry paste, thin a little with water, if you're using curry powder, taste at the end and add salt if needed) and a cup or so of red lentils (double it if you're planning on a big pot and lots of leftovers), cook on an enthusiastic simmer until the lentils are soft, maybe 15-20 minutes. Add some chopped green vegetables like kale, spinach, etc (I like the individually frozen cubes you can get, they're a great thing to keep in the freezer and chuck into stuff for added nutrition) in the last few minutes of cooking, if you've got them, and a generous spoonful or two of lemon or lime juice right before serving (I usually go for lemon if Indian curry seasonings, lime if Thai). It's a very forgiving base recipe and good for using up what you have. If you've got some yams or potatoes, that's good to add some small cubed ones in when you add the lentils and stock. If you don't have any green vegetables, it works well without. If you've got cabbage or bell peppers, add some in in the same stage when you're frying the carrots. If you want some extra protein, peanut butter is good in here as well and adds extra creaminess. If you've got some coconut milk that's a great thing to add, too. Tomatoes or tomato paste, can also be added if you like em, use a lil less citrus if you're doing that. For a slightly sweeter variant you can add some chopped apples. If you don't have lemon juice or lime juice, a dash of a nicely flavoured vinegar is good too, like apple cider or white wine vinegar.

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

Checked their account: turns out op is a fucking tumblr user themselves so????? Idk :/

which one of you motherfuckers reblogged this again

You did, my leige

No, that can’t be right.

The computer used to do something very basic & helpful and now it doesn't. I'm gonna complain

The computer used to do something very basic & helpful and now it doesn't. I'm gonna complain.