Audrey | she/her | EST | only an adult in the legal sense | queer | send asks | has the attention span of a goldfish | occasional writer | dancer | loves music, reading, and sleep | definitely a mess | minor theater nerd | obsessed with books and movies and probably anything gay
Hello! Thanks for stopping by my humble little blog. Here’s a little guide to some of the things that can be found here. Always remember I love you all <3
Writing:
My Masterlist
all my writing can be found here, with descriptions of each fic. most of it is fic related to lumosinlove’s works, some wolfstar, and a few original works. if you can’t find something or the links are messed up, feel free to shoot me an ask
AO3
i don’t post everything here, mainly my multi-chapter fics as well as all the wolfstar ones. but feel free to check it out if you prefer the format!
AFTG Extra Content
yeah so i have no self control and took all the extra content and formatted it into one 290 page document. so that’s what this is. please enjoy the products of my hyperfixation
Mental Health:
List of links if you’re having a bad night
sites for distractions and simple activities. can confirm they really do help
Here’s links to two hotline lists: one and two.
please never be afraid to reach out for help
Daily reminders that you’re enough
one of my favorite blogs. there’s all sorts of encouragement on here
Alternatives to self harm
exactly what it sounds like. dozens of options to chose from. and always feel free to reach out to me too if you need
Anxiety hacks
a list of tricks and tips i’ve put together to help get through an anxiety or panic attack. these are what helps me, they may or may not be helpful to you. if anyone ever has any additions, feel free to send me an ask and i can add em
Neutral post
if you need help stopping in your scrolling, or just a little break from the chaos, come rest by the fire for a moment
Feel free to send in asks or requests. I’m super friendly and love hearing from you all, although I cannot promise quick responses. Have a good day y’all! xx
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O'Knutzy Week 2026: Day Three! Some French summer sun for the Cubs :) Characters belong to @lumosinlove, fest is from @oknutzy-week-2026!
Italy (C1) | Solstice (B1)
“Remember Italy?”
Finn finished chasing a drip of vibrant orange down the side of his popsicle and nodded. “Which part?”
“The park.” Leo hadn’t even looked up from his book.
Of course Finn remembered the park. Rambling green within the confines of towering castle walls that dated back to the 15th century; enough shade to escape the lunchtime heat, but enough warmth that Leo could bask in the soft grass between bites of cheese and salami. Logan’s radiant delight when they turned the corner and uncovered his eyes, his pleased smile when they crossed the drawbridge over a dry moat, the lounge of his body while he surveyed the land around them like his own personal kingdom. Finn had barely been able to keep the old fortress secret for those morning hours.
“Loved that place, yeah.”
Leo turned a page, uncrossed his legs, and crossed them again in the opposite direction. “We should go back.”
“Missing the sun?”
There—a teasing dart of blue eyes over the edge of his sunglasses. Finn stretched out with a laugh and let the French heat beat down on his knees, etching more freckles over his pasty skin. A beachside sprawl of towels and half-broken umbrellas marked their territory. A dozen yards out, a volleyball went scampering off toward the water to a chorus of groans.
“I’m missing the—”
“Maman!”
“—cheese.” Leo held the edge of his page down at the next gust of wind. “And the—”
“MAMAN!”
“—architecture. Reg wants to go with us next time.”
“As long as he gets his own place.”
Leo chucked a shell at him, which Finn caught, laughing. “You like him.”
“I do, I do.” Another bit of popsicle attempted escape. Finn savored it, the sharp tang of fresh orange juice straight out of the freezer against this summer boil, and felt his toes pop as he worked them into the sand. “But,” he added. “I refuse to keep my hands to myself for the sake of his delicate sensibilities.”
“Control yourself, O’Hara.”
“Around you in your teeny-tiny, itty-bitty vacation shorts?” It was Finn’s turn to peer at him over his glasses. “Not a chance, Butter. Not a chance.”
More shouting from below; a squabble, loud gestures, something about the imaginary offsides line that left Sydney stomping back to her position with a vicious scowl. Twenty feet to his right, Finn watched Iva raise her wineglass at her children in acknowledgement and return to her shell-sorting.
“He’s thinking of bringing Harper.”
“He should.” Finn slurped a bit of juice off his hand and caught the glance of Leo’s eyes. “Better than staying in a hotel alone.”
“Finn…”
“I joke, I kid.”
“First Luke, now Reg…” Leo clicked his tongue. “Somebody doesn’t like to share.”
He did not. But Finn wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of defining his very specific sharing parameters. He gave Leo a firm pat on his thigh, tilted into the light to collect sun-gold as a souvenir. Gold beside him, bronze ahead. Lots of bronze, actually—his own personal statue slapped the volleyball back over their net to immediate protests.
“What’s she saying?”
“Hmm? Oh.” Leo’s face scrunched slightly, listening. “Aubrey’s calling him a filthy cheater and sore loser. And—”
“MAMAN!”
“—uh, they wanted Iva to play ref, earlier. Which is obviously going super well.”
“Lo?”
“He just told Aubrey he was gonna kill her with a rock.”
“So he’s happy,” Finn finished, pushing his glasses up into his hair. He laid back with a sigh. “Perfect.”
Leo’s laugh made him smile. His hand was hot and sandy on Finn’s jaw in a quick scuff, thumb pushing at his dimple. “Hmm,” Leo sighed happily. “You’re scruffy.”
“Was thinking of shaving tonight, before dinner.”
“MENTEUSE! MENTEUSE! MENTEUSE!”
Leo’s fingertips trailed over his cheek. “Aw, but I like it.”
“I can keep it,” Finn offered, squinting up at him in the sun.
Leo examined him for a moment. “Tomorrow,” he decided. “Keep it for tonight.”
“You got plans, Knut?”
“Hush.”
Finn grinned at the blush on his cheeks. “Be-have.”
“I’m—” Leo smacked his glasses back down over his eyes. “Watch your show.”
“Who, Lo?”
“Yes.”
“My show,” Finn muttered, smiling. He wasn’t wrong. Well—Leo was rarely wrong. And he was also watching Logan, as evidenced by the extensive lifespan of page 117 and his fixed gaze that Finn could see through the side of his sunglasses.
He snuck a hand up under the leg of Leo’s swim shorts and gently pinched the underside of his thigh. Leo jumped with a yelping sort of sound, and whacked at him with his paperback. “Finn.”
“Back muscles.”
“I’m finishing this before you and spoiling it all.”
“Nah. You won’t.” Finn bit his lip at the softness of the back of Leo’s knee. Muscle and joints twitched under his touch. “Gonna give me subtitles?”
“I’m reading.”
As if. Even with his book fully spread open in front of his face, Finn saw him peeking. That was fine. Beach volleyball looked good on the Tremblays. The half-inflated ball and a torn net from their grandmother’s shed brought the whole thing together, a picture-perfect window into the last twenty-odd years of these visits. He was more than happy to watch Logan, season-strong, solstice-bronzed, lope around with three of his most favorite people in his most favorite place.
“D’you think Alex would let me use his espresso machine?”
Leo looked down at him, straw in his mouth. “Huh? Probably.”
“Like, could I borrow it?”
“Unlikely.”
“Really?” Finn frowned, and folded his hands behind his head. “Maybe we could grab it next time we visit.”
“Or we could just buy one,” Leo laughed.
“It doesn’t taste the same.”
Leo shook his head, setting his lemonade down in the sand. “You and Lo. Impossible. Ohhh, it’s not the same, ohhh, theirs is so much better, ohhhh, we can just borrow it real quick when we visit.”
“Older sibling seasoning is real,” Finn insisted.
“If my cousins ever stole half the shit you two have taken from your siblings, I would have fed them to a gator.”
Finn tsked. “They love us. And I miss good espresso. Italy spoiled me.”
Leo took another sip. His book was fully abandoned, resting beside him while he watched Aubrey and Noelle race the tide for the ball, shrieking as the water pulled back. Logan stood with his arms crossed by the side of the net and one hip tilted. Statue, indeed. “I think,” Leo said slowly. “That if you just told Alex he makes good coffee, he’d make you some when we visit.”
Finn waved his hand in the air. “He’d do that anyway.”
“Still.”
Logan looked back at them, one hand shading his eyes. He waved, then raised one thumb up in question. The two of them returned the gesture. The wet volleyball slammed into Logan’s back from behind with a plasticky shlorp he could hear across thirty feet of distance. Finn could see the red mark stretching across his shoulder blade when he turned and raced back into the Nice surf. He’d make sure to kiss it better later, scruff and all.
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I think a great way to improve communication with kids (and adults) is to make every yes or no question a this or that question.
I started doing it when after brain surgery my husband had trouble forming responses to questions for a while, and realized that the habit was helping my students engage more truthfully with me.
Some examples:
Yes/No: “Did you clean up your room like I told you?”
This/That: “Did you clean up already, or do you still need to do that?”
Yes/No: “Are you going to sit quietly?”
This/That: “Are you ready to sit and do our quiet activity, or do you need some time by yourself first?”
Yes/No: “Are you doing anything fun for your birthday?”
This/That: “Are you having a party on your birthday, or are you going to relax?”
I think many children (and adults!) are averse to telling adults “No,” especially when a command is implied. (“Did you clean your room?” “Are you going to sit quietly?” Hmmm if I say ‘no’ I will be in trouble with the adult.) So they are actually pretty likely to just lie and say what they think you want to hear.
Presenting a this or that question provides an alternative to lying, a ‘no, but’ scenario where they are presented with the reasonable consequences of a No (“if you’re not ready to sit quietly, you cannot do our quiet activity with us yet.”)
I find it useful professionally with adults too - "Did you have a chance to finish that project, or is it more of a next-week item?" When done sincerely (rather than passive-aggressively), it gets over rough ground lightly: it gives the other person a solution you clearly already find acceptable, so they don't have to flail around trying to defend/excuse themselves, they can just take the solution and everyone can move on.
You know, there's this cliché that teenage boys always eat massive amounts, but teenage girls really aren't that different if they're not suppressed by diet culture and body shaming. Like, I was a teenage girl who frankly just stopped bothering to fit into mainstream beauty ideals at some point, and I would regularly make myself just one big massive pot of pasta and devour it completely. This wasn't even stress eating or anything, I just genuinely needed the energy because you know, I was a teenager and my body was developing. I feel like so many teenage girls think they need to eat as little as possible to be petite and pretty, but the truth is that your body is developing just as intensely as teenage boys' bodies. Eat more, please, your body needs it.
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I want a friendship between Shane and Cliff Marleau (sort of like an extrovert adopts an introvert type of thing). Pre-outing, they’re close enough that Shane comes out to him.
“Hey,” Cliff says, suddenly struck with the best idea he’s ever had. “I think I know someone you’d get along great with.”
“Marleau, I’m not really looking—“
“No, no, trust me. He’s a good guy, and one of the best hockey players I’ve ever met—aside from you, of course.”
Shane isn’t sure where Cliff is going with this, but he does know he’s not interested in anyone but Ilya.
“I know you mean well but—“
“Rozanov,” Cliff announces, grin a mile wide, and Shane blinks. Cliff, for his part, is incredibly sure this is a good idea; he knows that Ilya is bisexual, even if he doesn’t talk about it. Even Cliff is aware of the dangers with Russia. Even if the rest of the league hates it, they can fuck off.
Mistaking Shane’s silence for skepticism, Cliff continues, “I know he seems like an asshole, but he’s one of the best men you’ll ever meet. I know you’ve seen it—the whole rivalry thing is bullshit anyways, right? He’s actually a big softie…”
Cliff talks up Ilya, and Shane smiles, glad that Ilya has such a good friend—even though he isn’t sure how to tell Cliff that he and Ilya are already an item.
the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive
I do think the ability to emoji-react is a net win for human communication. not only does it give you an outlet for 'I see and acknowledge this but don't have a verbal response' but it also adds a pleasing alethiometer element to things
my coworker announces that he's off to the dentist. someone reacts with a tooth emoji. is this a statement of dentist solidarity? a wish for my coworker to return with more (or fewer?) teeth than he set out with? simple word association? who can say
So, Hollanov toddler fic where, for whatever reason, Irina and Ilya are at the same airport as Shane and his parents.
Irina is having a stilted conversation with one of the airport workers, maybe her tickets are wrong because they've seated her five year old away from her, I don't fly so whatever.
Anyway Ilya is bored and doesn't really understand the conversation anyway so he's looking around and notices Shane, who saw a dog and wandered away from his parent because he wanted to pet it and forgot that he should say something about the dog and wanting to pet it, something something mostly nonverbal Shane.
So Shane realizes that he can't find his parents or the doggy and starts to cry and well, no one really cares about one crying toddler when they have flights to catch, except Ilya decides that he's going to help this kid, so he goes over and gets babyShane to stop crying and tells him he'll help in his very limited English and takes his hand to take him back to Irina but they can't find her so they go on an adventure through the airport trying to find either of their parents.
Eventually Shane remembers the bording gate he and his parents were going to and they go off to find it, they get there and Ilya is helping Shane climb onto a seat but Shane won't stand on it because you're not supposed to do that, that's a bad thing and Shane's already been bad enough in his eyes today so Ilya is standing on the chair looking for two people that look like Shane because the concept of parents not looking like their kids is foreign to him.
However, they are only little and airports, adventures and new friends are exhausting, so eventually Ilya sits down in the chair and curls up with Shane and they fall asleep together sharing the same chair.
They are found by an airport worker who reports it but doesn't want to wake the children so they wait while the parents are located and brought over and while Yuna meets Irina David is taking a dozen pictures of the two on his camera.
However they do still have flights to catch and while Ilya doesn't wake up when Irina untangled him Shane does and wails the entire way to the bording gate and through most of their flight before he passes out from exhaustion.
Unfortunatly Shane asks for Ilya almost everyday for a year because he's his bestest friend and he helped him find his parents but neither David nor Yuna thought to get anything more than Irina's name, they didn't think their son would fixate on a boy he knew for a handful of hours so deeply.
Ilya also asks for Shane but well, he's no stranger to not getting things he wants so his asking doesn't last nearly as long.
Of course, David never got the pictures from that trip developed, at least not until after the Hollanov wedding, and he finds a handful of pictures of his kid with another kid (who he does eventually recognize as Ilya but not immediatly) curled up in an airport chair and thinks that looks familiar and realized that it's the same exact way Ilya and Shane curl up together on the couch or loveseat when they are over watching a movie.
And maybe there is a picture or two of Irina collecting a sleeping Ilya and of him sleeping on her shoulder before they leave.
And David wonders if maybe, just maybe they were meant to find one another.
He does, of course, use the pictures to embarass them at one of their anniverseries when Harris is asking aboit the Hollanov Timeline, David has the gleeful pleasure of saying that Ilya and Shane are both wrong as he whips the pictures out and says they were meant for each other long before Rookie season or the summer before and thus causes a breakdown in most of the team and their partners but also unlocks that memory for Ilya and Shane.
Something something, we'll make our way back to eachother no matter what, and I'll find you in every lifetime.
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i've said before that i think in 2024 one of the younger cens players (picking a name at random and saying holmberg) makes shane and ilya listen to chappell roan and they take unfathomable psychic damage from good luck babe and casual while flashing back to their situationship era, but to get even more specific about it:
i think holmberg starts them off with good luck babe since it's her big breakthrough hit and ilya is like "hm. so this is a song about being in a relationship with someone who's in denial about being gay? and they won't admit to the relationship because of it? interesting" while staring directly at shane who is making very determined eye contact with the floor.
and holmberg (clueless) is like "yeah she writes a lot of situationship anthems actually!" and puts on casual.
which allows shane to pull an instant uno reverse card and stare daggers into the side of ilya's head while going "wow, imagine what it would be like to spend years sleeping with someone who sends really confusing mixed signals by saying that what you have is casual but then treating you like it's not casual at all. that would suck."
anyway chappell roan gets banned from the cens locker room playlist out of fear of causing their captain and alternate to divorce. they make an exception for pink pony club though because they are the pink (red) pony (centaur) club
