The Fastest Cabbage East of the Mississippi

(obviously hungover film class teacher, wheeling in the overhead projector) okay everyone today we're just gonna do some quadratic equations

what’s the mood for july?

what’s the mood for july?

what’s the mood for july?

gonna start making snopes-style responses to urban legends about tumblr

its fascinating how you can't win with native anglo speakers. if you're perfect at english: you're a bot or a faker. if you're not perfect: your grammar, spelling and vocabulary will be dissected and you'll be hailed as too stupid to meaningfully engage in conversation.

people aren't even exaggerating indeed is literally like that. walmart attendant $13 an hour, target attendant $13 an hour, AI dick sucker $40 an hour, home depot attendant $13 an hour, guy who designs bullets that can only kill children $160k a year plus benefits, gas station manager $18 an hour

portal 2 is an american gothic horror story about an incredibly traumatized and exploited girl who was forced into a perpetual hell of servitude by the forces of capital and infinite growth. portal 2 is about how science owes its greatest achievements to women who never received any credit or control over the industries that they created. portal 2 is about how tech companies dehumanize and exploit feminized labor. portal 2 is about physically exploring a woman's repressed memories and realizing she was right to kill all those people with deadly neurotoxin. portal 2 is about fighting the piece of you they created to keep you weak and easy to control, ripping it out, and sending it to the fucking moon. portal 2 is about helping your traumatized girlfriend come to grips with her violent past. portal 2 is about how tech CEOs are so fucking stupid they would probably die from snorting moon rocks. portal 2 is about rape and exploitation and capitalism and vivisection and everything that would make you go 'ewwie' if it wasnt happening to a gigantic robot

The most recent Android update making it impossible to actually disable any AI features no matter what you do is surely a sign that this technology is the future and about to take off and make everyone SOOOOO much money that all the nay-sayers will be sobbing about how they were fools who should have listened and invested. Everyone knows you have a winning product if you have to uh *checks notes* trick and/or force people to use it against their will. Great job, everyone!

used to think it terribly silly (and kinda funny) when fantasy or sci-fi stories would have people refer to major recent historical events as The Flood or The Incident or The Revolution, and im sure historians fucking hate that because it's not helpful or descriptive, but we sure do be calling it The Pandemic

when i was a young boy i had the philosophy of ‘balls are the boobs of the penis so its ok that i want to suck on them it doesn’t make me gay” and tbh i was cooking

to see a marching band