the bubble is real

White woman picks up can of sparkling water: I’m really picky about what I drink. Me: Pretty sure it’s just bubbles and water, but if you’re on a bubble-free diet I wouldn’t be surprised.

New Guy: Is there a chair I can use? Boss: You can use this one. Or this one I guess, but this one is my purse chair. -white woman, pointing to her purse literally sitting on a chair, yoga streaming company

"I can't possibly compete in the GS today, I only have my SGS skis!!"  Young white girl before stabbing her quinoa burger

“The kale is my soup is too big.”-white woman, yoga streaming company

“There are too many planets in retrograde for me to not get reiki.” -white woman, yoga streaming company

white woman: “want some of this?” white dude: “I want it all, but I can’t.” white woman: “Why? Are you on a cleanse?” white dude: “No, I’m just crazy.”

white dude: “Is this a Fiber One bar?” / white woman: “No, Fiber One is way too mainstream.”

“I can’t wait for my period to start so I can try out my new moon cup.” -white woman, after super chill yoga class

“Have you ever noticed that diners serve food on too many plates?”

“I want to get reiki from your mom!” -white woman, boulder

“I have to use my calculator because I don’t know how to add up this tip.” white woman, asian restaurant, boulder

“You guys, I got a really underwhelming massage yesterday.” -white woman, yoga streaming company