i don't do bad sauce passes

★
wallacepolsom
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open


Kiana Khansmith

@theartofmadeline

Love Begins
Cosimo Galluzzi

tannertan36
AnasAbdin

titsay
Cosmic Funnies
trying on a metaphor
Misplaced Lens Cap

roma★
will byers stan first human second

oozey mess
ojovivo
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@thebrightest

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the viper is not one to feel scared about being found, being chased, even. not these days, at least. it’s been quite the long while since anyone truly made him feel — at edge. predators ; they all believe they are royalty. untouchable, almighty. ❛ I was unaware that someone had written about me. Should probably intend to charge them, no? Copyright and all that. ❜ a little smile graces the creature’s lips, and the supposed man bows ever s slightly. ❛ Unless they were just stories, you know. The kind you use to scare children, I don’t know. What have you heard, after all ————— ? ❜
" They were nothing more than tales told to pureblood children to scare them and stereotype members of Slytherin. And I'm neither -- so I could see past the glimmer of falsehood for truth's sake. Like any unbiased human should.
There are sometimes more evil in lies than in the reality of fear. Even with bloody snakes. "
the witch didn't chase. ( she'd like to make the excuse that it was unladylike -- -- but in reality, she'd probably just fall on her ass while trying to run and cast a spell simultaneously ) no, hermione just studied and read, using her skills to track.
she'd at least try to have the element of surprise when going up against a creature of unknown power.
with some semblance of a plan.
" You inspired many... stories both concerning things that go bump in the night " referring to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them " and scary campfire stories. "
" Good luck copyrighting them all, mate. "
You should really pay attention. You might learn something.
#god giving us the hermione granger we always needed
ofdirtypaws & kalozhangya
" It's not rocket science. It's just Arithmancy. -- The simple logic of determining future events with statistical data. Studying the divination of numbers. And no, you can't bloody copy my homework. "

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lilylunes & mypxth
" It wasn't my bloody fault. I swear I'm going to kill that boy. He just had to play with the bloody beast. But I'm putting an end to it and finding that thing. I'm not getting expelled because of Hagrid's new friend burning down Buckingham Palace ! "
" So, um, have you seen a dragon running about? "
canxm & itsofficerkalakaua
" It's not what it looks like... ? "
“Hang on—— are there like any laws about using magic under the influence? ‘Cause I’m not overly fond of being behind bars.”
Lips purse, brows furrow, he has to actually think long and hard about whether or not such a law exists. A part of him wants to think there is a law, but the other part is leaning heavily towards ”who the fuck cares”.
Of course there is a law against magic under the influence. Like drinking and everything it can only have disastrous results. Dark Arts can stumble across drunken lips -- that, and transfigurations make for a terrible hangover.
But...
" Would that really stop you? Come on; give it one more try and I'm sure you'll get it. "
[ cue a thick swallowing of her beer. ] ” who? “
" you know who. you're you. "
She should probably be embarrassed by how excited she is. But Hermione can't help it -- and it doesn't faze her. A hero is a hero. And here's one of hers.
booverine
"You're her."

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“Nah, it ain’t workin’ because I’m blind drunk!" And because he’s not saying it right.
Is she allowed to laugh at that? Because she couldn't help but try to suppress a grin, a boisterous drunk and the possibility for him to turn himself into a cat with the wrong incantation. That was funny.
" I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt! You know, ignoring the alcohol in favor of your magic. "
predulcis & procxidens
" Have you ever left a place and come back to it, and then been forced to realize it's no longer yours to go back to? "
Which subsequently explains why Hermione is sitting in a London pub, dejectedly looking around. Too much of a mudblood to be a 'real' wizard and too much of a wizard to be a naive muggle. But just enough of both to order a beer and mutter to the stranger beside her without hope for a response.
❝ yeah alright — uh dickus engorgio ! ❞ ❝ no shit, i’m kidding gods you looked like you were about to have a stroke. ❞
" you're not supposed to use magic like that. " " and if that's your best spell, no wonder your dick is so small. coincides with small creativity. "
Rowling wrote Hermione to eschew stereotypes. She doesn’t end up with the hero; she is never there to function as Harry’s love interest. She prefers Arithmancy to Divination in school. Hermione is also a total badass, despite her prim and proper reputation. (…) So often, female characters are allowed to be aggressive or rebellious, but in exchange are stripped of any traditionally feminine qualities and instead are forced to pick up traditionally masculine traits. However, Hermione is never made to do that. Most notably, she is written to be highly logical AND emotionally expressive, a combination not commonly afforded to most of today’s leading ladies.
Liz Feuerbach, The Women of The Harry Potter Universe (via writingadvice)
malfoah
" I'd like to say you're no longer a complete arse, Malfoy. And that you've actually grown up. But I won't utterly lie to you. I will say that you're less of a little, ferret-like jerk. "
" That's something. "

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I can’t stop laughing at Harry running the fuck away, the boy who lived ladies and gentlemen.
….You realize, of course, that Hermione Granger lit a teacher on fire when she was eleven, and kept a person alive in a jar for a year when she was fourteen, and studies dark and forbidden magics for kicks, and is one of the brightest and strongest witches of her era. If she came at me, even wandless, I would aparate to Neptune to get away from her.
Hermione Granger also:
punched Draco Malfoy in the nose for being an idiot
purposefully performed a confundus charm on whatshsface WHILE HE WAS FLYING just so Ron would win (omfg that is so fucking dangerous)
literally pulled a fucking Bourne Identity on her parents and managed to set them up in fucking Australia (jesus christ she literally made it so that she NEVER EXISTED wtf that’s so fucking 007)
Convinced the Ministry of Magic to give her an incredibly dangerous and volatile device that allowed her to ALTER TIMELINES COMPLETELY (just because she was so smart, literally, that is the reason, her “potential”)
Has enough basic survival skills and badass magic to literally disappear to the middle of nowhere and flourish AND figure out Voldemort’s plot with Harry
Hermione also figures out not only what Voldemort’s plan is, but generally how to beat it, WAY BEFORE VOLDEMORT EVER DOES. Why? because she is just that much smarter and better at magic than everybody else
in conclusion: Voldemort wishes he could be as awesome as Hermione, that’s why he wants to kill her so bad.
Can we rehave this series with hermione as the protagonist.
Hermione Granger and “That Time I Used the Power of Research and Deductive Reasoning to Make Sure Harry Didn’t Die”
Hermione Granger and “That time I figured shit out and literally ended up petrified for the cause and it took my friends weeks to figure out that I had the research on me”
Hermione Granger and “That Time I Was a Time Lord”
Hermione Granger and “That Time I Realized I was Hot and Smart and Saved Harry’s Ass with Research. Again. All the Time. Really, He Would Have Died Without Me.”
Hermione Granger and “That time Harry was too emo to actually do shit so I did shit in his name because I am the power behind the throne clearly also PS fought evil deatheaters and won”
Hermione Granger and “That Time I told Harry about the Dangers of Copying off Somebody’s else’s work that wasn’t mine and OH LOOK I WAS RIGHT”
Hermione Granger and “That Time I let Harry Decide Where to Go and What To do and we ended up wandering the forests of dean for like 5 months before saving his ass at Hogwarts”
Hermione Granger: Fucking Badass and Total Champ
thanksforsummingthatup
Considering all of her experience with dragons, and all of Potter's terrible luck with them, Hermione can't help but gape a little at the sight before her.
The kid is riding a DRAGON. It's a wild animal! That can breathe fire.
" Is that safe? "