BlueBottleCap

we all joke about undertale a lot but listen if it can earn an immediate and strong emotional response from me with a track thats just 20 seconds of the sound of an elevator going up you know the game is fucking stupidly, ridiculously good

These are the best kind of friends to have and the best kind of friends to be

far too often, yeah

Just drawing the blowjob would’ve been less dirty than this abomination

some of you haven’t spent countless hours thinking up a whole universe in your head to escape to and it shows

frozen grape dipped in chilled water

Forbidden dandelion

i had a thought today like man, my ancestors would probably not approve very much of me being such an extravagant glutton, but then i was like wtf are u kidding. those dumbasses didn’t live on a fuckin potato ass diet for no minimalism. they didn’t do what they did, whatever the fuck it was, for me NOT to fucking eat my bodyweight in sashimi!!! they would be fucking ecstatic to see me making the most of my opportunities for plenty. they would be fucking cheering me on. every lice-covered cossack and illiterate serf and three-toothed yak herder in my lineage is with me in this restaurant, and they are going absolutely apeshit watching me try to fit an entire samosa in my mouth

I don’t trust the media, too many acronyms.  what does cnn stand for?  literally no one knows the answer

cable news network

could be.  literally no one knows

It’s like watching a raccoon try to eat a hermit crab.

i’m dying

Carrie Fisher has been dead for 2 slutty slutty years and it pains me to say that but I know she would want someone to make that joke

Oh god… this took me way longer to get than it should have, but this punchline is PERFECT.