Dog Hair Eater

You cannot reheat eggs in a way that matters

you dont have to be a parent to understand the horror of walking into a room to discover that the baby crawled out of his crib and onto that pottery wheel you forgot to turn off, and while the baby is spinning around and around, the dog is sitting there all calm, like a person, gently using his paws to fashion the babys soft cartilage head into something a little more modern.  it might be the classic tale of bad parenting, but lets see where the dog is going with this

This post is from 2013. It has less than 100 notes. Together we can revive this work of art that tragically ahead of its time. We’re ready for it now

the world is a strange and wonderous place

More i Grow my body Stonger. More i Learn my head gets Longer. More i Eat my belly Bouncing… More i Fight my foes i’m Trouncing.

More i Sing my voice gets Louder… More i Boast my pride gets Prouder… More i Run my speed gets Upper… What about you Mother Fucker…

normally this is when people reblog posts like this and say something like “i was on so much painkillers when i made this” but that doesn’t apply here. i was completely lucid when i made this. i can remember writing this phenomenal post with crystal clarity. for me, it was typical. i could do this kind of thing every day if i wished to.

Listen buddy, because of your little "what the derp" moment, Archduke Ferdinand is dead.

At least it can't get any worse.

Worse? Let put this in terms you'll understand. Kaiser Wilhelm is about to "epicly troll" Europe, and it's not going to be "awesomesauce" for anyone.