i have been laughing for 10 mins

@theartofmadeline
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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almost home
Doug Jones
sheepfilms
Noah Kahan

Kiana Khansmith
Fai_Ryy

Product Placement
untitled
d e v o n
The Bowery Presents
taylor price

Andulka
Not today Justin
Misplaced Lens Cap

⣠Chile in a Photography âŁ

PR's Tumblrdome
NASA

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@thebelgariad
i have been laughing for 10 mins

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Tell it
The year is 2022. Youâre driving home from work, wifey calls & asks you to get some diapers for the baby. You grab roses for her. Lifeâs good. Sheâs crying in the closet you forgot the diapers whatâs she gonna do with roses idiot thereâs shit everywhere this is why your parents never loved y
The year is 1351. Youâre driving your ship home from work, wifey calls and sends you to the local store to get some rags as diapers for the baby. You grab a bouquet of flowers for her too. Lifeâs good. You both die from the plague
The year is 2020. Youâre driving home in your tractor after voting for Trump, the man of your people. Your sister calls and asks you to get some diapers for the baby you bought from the Walmart parking lot last week. You steal roses for her on your way out. Lifeâs good
The year is 2068. Youâre staring at the most beautiful stranger. She explains to you that sheâs your wife. You have dimentia. You smile and take her hand as your grandchildren jump around the room. Youâve lived a good life. Suddenly youâre staring at the most beautiful stranger
Anyway Iâm back on my bullshit
The year is 2019. Your fiancĂŠ just got you roses in your big house with 3 cars and 5 dogs. You did all this to tweet it with âWeâre only 19, what are you doing with your life?â You got 5 retweets. Heâs been buying roses instead of food for weeks. You canât cook. You havenât eaten in 3 days
The year is 2018. Youâre scrolling through Tumblr and you see a post by none other than thebootydiaries. âGoalsâ, you think to yourself. Yes, this was it. What youâve been waiting for. Your entire life has led up to this. Your fingers shake as you type your comment. âGoals.â You hit reblog as youâre trembling, the chair squeaking ever so slightly. âI canât wait to forget diapers, and have dementia.â You sigh. âAnd buy a house, dogs, and cars. AndâŚandâŚâ goosebumps race through your entire body. âAnd get the plague.â

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I have long said that in order for any comedy to truly succeed as a story, there has to be meat beneath the jokes. There has to be that moment when it is not funny any more.
This. This is that moment.
#honestly even though this is one of the best scripts there ever has been  #that is the greatest line  #itâs /groundbreaking/ in terms of how it frames vengeance quests; temptation beats; inigo as a comedic figure throughout the movie  #you know because this is a happy book (film) that inigo will get his revenge  #but will he get JUSTICE  #will he get ABSOLUTION  #will he get CATHARSIS  #those are the things we donât know  #and that line sells it more than any of the previous scene (x)
God I love this movie.
Wow! One of my favorite movies just got even better!!
holy shit
I read somewhere that sirens/mermaids sang songs that they heard from sailors on passing ships. I imagine this is what a modern siren would sound like singing this song.
I was not expecting this to be good. I was so wrong.
Please remember that nearly all of the kids dialogue was unscripted.
But she isnât wrong.
Outnumbered (2007-2016)
My thing during quarantine is to recreate Pokemon in Spore

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Cake: The Movie (2020) dir. David Lynch & David Cronenberg
Translation: I told this girl sent next to me on the bus that her guide dog was cute and she said âAw I wouldnât knowâ and I choked on my coffee
đđ
I think this is the first one of these that i literally couldnât understand a damn thing written
Lmao
modern art
Comrades in Minneapolisâthis video from Chile shows how to extinguish tear gas canisters quickly, safely, and easily. To deal with tear gas canisters, take a water jug with a wide mouth, put a little baking soda, dish soap, and/or vegetable oil in the jug of waterâ3 tablespoons of each to 1 liter of water. Pick up the canister with protective gloves (itâs hot and can burn you!), drop it in the jug, and shake the jug while covering the top with your gloved hand just enough that the gas doesnât get out. Donât cover the top too tightlyâyou donât want to make the jug explode. Donât let the police or #COVID19 cut off your air supply. Fight back! #icantbreathe #GeorgeFloyd #Minneapolis

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Villain: âYou and I are very much alike, you know.â
Hero: âI realize that.â
Villain: âDoesnât that trouble you?â
Hero: âWhy would it? I share most of my genome with sewer rats.â
Villain: âBut our similarities mean that, deep down, youâre a bad person. Thereâs nothing stopping you from being just as evil as I am!â
Hero: âSure there is. Iâm stopping me.â
Villain: âBut in your heart you craveââ
Hero: âSometimes when Iâm in a crowded building I get the sudden urge to just boop a stranger right on the nose. But I donât do it, because that would be super rude and weird. Does having that compulsion in the first place make me just as much of a weirdo as if I had acted on it? Maybe it does in your eyes, but to the would-be boopee, it makes all the difference in the world.â
Villain: âWeâre not talking about booping noses, weâre talking about killing peopââ
Me: âLook, dude, Iâm sure murder can be really satisfying. But Iâve decided that I donât want to murder people, and I think thatâs very sexy of me. Look at me. With a little self-restraint, you might have had what I have.â