Pure Of Heart And Dumb Of Ass

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

love the idea of bears being the chosen species actually. having a near death experience and glimpsing heaven and realising it's just full of bears, no humans at all, humans not ensouled actually, humans an accidental byproduct of God's plan for bears

truly some people have no genre savviness whatsoever. A girl came back from the dead the other day and fresh out of the grave she laughed and laughed and lay down on the grass nearby to watch the sky, dirt still under her nails. I asked her if she’s sad about anything and she asked me why she should be. I asked her if she’s perhaps worried she’s a shadow of who she used to be and she said that if she is a shadow she is a joyous one, and anyway whoever she was she is her, now, and that’s enough. I inquired about revenge, about unfinished business, about what had filled her with the incessant need to claw her way out from beneath but she just said she’s here to live. I told her about ghosts, about zombies, tried to explain to her how her options lie between horror and tragedy but she just said if those are the stories meant for her then she’ll make another one. I said “isn’t it terribly lonely how in your triumph over death nobody was here to greet you?” and she just looked at me funny and said “what do you mean? The whole world was here, waiting”. Some people, I tell you.

i love when people on the internet get denied stuff and you find the most innovative minds of the generation dedicated to making goddamn sure other people get what they want come hell or high water

the among us show being a total gorefest on par with john carpenter's the thing is a really fun choice

the among us show having a gay orgy in the middle of it is another really fun choice

That thing abt the babysitter and the scary guy calling from the phone upstairs happened to me once but I just went up the stairs and beat up the scary guy with karate

One time I woke up in the middle of the night cuz the dog was licking my hand so I followed her into the bathroom and there was a scary guy on the floor who'd been beaten into unconsciousness and the dog had scrawled "DOGS CAN DO KARATE TOO" in blood on the mirror. I gave her a treat.