A MILLENIAL THINKING FOR THE 21ST CENTURY

Power is control over objects.

 The first question I’m thinking is “What is power not?” Being unable to have control over your own body. Is it just over me? No, if you could have control over other people as well.

 So power is having control over oneself and others. Well yes it it. What if you have control over money or materials, would that be power? Yes it would. So power is having control over people and resources? Yes it is.

 Control is determining what happens to something and resources are things that you have control of. If you had control over non human things would that still be control? Yes. So it’s over living things and non-living things or animate and in-animate objects.

 So power is control over objects. 

Just a short one today but a definition I’ve been dying to understand and explain.

Hope this helps, it sure did for me

Preconditions For The Argument - Apart from the direct control you have to make yourself laugh, everything else that you find funny is involuntary. 

What you find funny is an uncontrollable action, therefore you shouldn’t be held accountable for what you find funny. You merely discover in the moment what makes you laugh.

 When you’re at a funeral and you find something funny and you just start laughing, the circumstances are irrelevant in preventing you from finding something funny. It can occur irrespective of circumstance.

 Finding something that’s evil funny and doing something evil are different. One is an uncontrollable action, the other is potentially a criminal offence. Can people get offended from your laughter? Of course. Then why should you be allowed to laugh at something that can offend someone?

 Well because everyone can be offended at everything and so then are you going to ban laughter just because people can be offended? And then if you’re not going to ban laughter who gets to decide what’s permissible to laugh at and what isn’t? 

 As we already discussed one person can find one thing funny and another not. So who gets to decide, because if it’s the person that gets offended then we’re back at, everyone can be offended by everything and so then are we going to ban laughter?

 I argue no, let’s not ban laughter. People might discourage certain moments of laughter like being at a funeral but you can argue that it’s involuntary. You can’t control what you find funny no more than you can control your heart beat. Then what’s involuntary you can’t be held accountable for.

Ok so you do agree that laughter should be banned so that no one becomes offended, I advocate any individual who thinks that to record 365 days without laughing and prove the benefits of not laughing. Fat chance of that happening.

We need laughter because life can be miserable and laughter can reduce suffering, alleviate hardship and bring us together. Let individual's argue the circumstances of when they choose not to laugh at something, but knowing that an opinion is not enforceable to others.

Everything is on the table for what we find funny and that includes the most taboo and evil subjects that humanity offers.  

In Summation - What we find funny is involuntary, we can’t be held accountable for what’s involuntary. Everyone can find everything offensive so let’s not ban laughter. Everything is on the table to laugh at.

That’s all for now folks,

Preconditions For This Article - Journaling is a helpful tool that can be use to unwind, give time to process the day, practice gratitude and find solutions for the problems faced.

 All of what I’m going to share with you was first introduced to me from A Guide To The Good Life written by William B. Irvine. This is my favourite book. I stumbled on Stoicism by luck, I was watching something from the intriguing illusionist Derren Brown.

He spoke about finding some articles on Stoicism and wanted to research it more. He then decided to write his own book on Stoicism and I bought it. However the joy was short lived until I discovered AGTTGL. Sorry Derren. Gripping, intriguing, simple and practicable. I urge you to get a copy.

 I have never read anything more compelling and honest through it’s simplicity. When I finished the book and went through the psychological techniques and the call by Sir Irvine to practice these techniques that’s why I formed my journalling process. The rest of this article will list it all out and explain why.

1. What’s Bothering Me? - The easiest to explain. Simple write down what’s been on your mind today, write as much as you want. Write the good and the bad, be vague, be detailed but just write. End of, needs nothing more to say about it.

2. How Could Things Be Worse? - Look at your life and imagine what could be far worse. The point of this is to put our worries into perspective and when we imagine how much more our lives could be, it makes our current worries seem not as bad as we might be making them out to be.

3. Fatalism - This is the act of understanding that the present and the past are gone. We can’t change them but we can learn from them. Why I love doing this at the end of the day is because I can always take a big breath in and out afterwards, knowing that for better or worse that day is DONE.! Now what can I learn from this that’s helpful for the future? 

4. Lowering my expectations - When things don’t go my way (which can be quiet often), my initial thought currently is that I didn’t lower my expectations enough. When I go and do certain work that I intensely hate, lowering my expectations has helped me. 

 I pre-determine that my colleagues are going be the biggest *&&”£$%:@~}<?><><?>{ and so on and so forth, the day will either overwork me and leave me feeling defeated and stressed or leave me feeling overwhelmingly bored and feel like reading the length and breath of a bible, the customers will be the biggest  *&&”£$%:@~}<?><><?>{ and so on and so forth, I won’t have any good conversations and there’ll be no joking. 

 To my surprise it usually isn’t that bad, I actually have some ok conversations and jokes, the day moves at a reasonable pace with one or two parts that were slow and the customers and colleagues are ok with the one bad apple in the bunch. But also when those days that I pre-determine happen (and they do) I’m not as thrown off my course because I already expected it to happen. Like the bad weather we’ve been told is coming , we should also tell ourselves the bad things that will come and if they do no biggie, we just get on with it and if they don’t happen, it’s a win for us.

5. Obstacles - This is my newest addition to my journaling and the most practicable. Write down the obstacles you’re facing and see if you can find solutions to overcome them. NEXT!

6. Negative Visualisation - This one is broken down into three categories my death, my loved ones and my possessions. Let me explain. Sounds morbid on the surface and it is but with a purpose. 

 By engaging in the passing of your own life, your loved ones or the lost of your possessions puts you into a mindset of gratitude. When I started doing this particular for my own death it brought my thoughts into sharp focus reminding me that I won’t always be here.

 It seems to bring me to certain questions. Was today a good day? Do I want to keep doing this? What can I do to change things? I have found healing in realising my own impermanence and you might too.

With my loved ones it’s the same, some people seem to just pop into my head and I just want to say thank, feel grateful and pray that I’m so blessed to have these people in my life and realising their impermanence as well makes me engage with them more because I realise my time with them is limited.

Finally with my possessions I imagine that I don’t have them anymore and it’s surprising how it’s just a consistent few things that keep coming up that bring me immense joy and make my life easier. I’ve realised that I don’t need as much as I think I do in life.

7.Trichotomy of control - The Stoics believed you had two things you had control over your thoughts and your actions, everything else you have no control over, so stop worrying about them or trying to control them. 

 I consider it partial control because you can’t control every thought or action, but the ones you can you should exercise autonomy over and Sir Irvine goes to add the third which is some control. These are the goals you set in your life, they should only be goals of which you have control over so that you can actually attain them.

As always I really hope this helps, it sure has for me,

 Preconditions For This Article - Sleep is important and that you want to maximise quality sleep.

 This article is about what my personal sleep routine is and why I do the following things, I’m sharing this in the hope that you might benefit from it as well.

 1. Consistent Bed Time & Alarm - Repeating something over and over again gets you good at it. I have personally found that going to bed for 11pm and up for 7am has helped me dramatically. When I started doing it however, it was very difficult. 

 My body didn’t want to unwind and my mind kept going, but with consistency and time they became synchronised internally and around 10:30pm something reminds me that it’s bedtime and my body starts to relax by itself. 

 My alarm is the same sound that my phone played when I got it and that familiarity also seems to now indicate to me when I hear it, “It’s time to get up.”  Everything else is built on this consistency, it just adds to the ease of unwinding, falling asleep, getting good quality sleep and waking up rested. This takes precedent over everything else. Get your bed time and alarm consistent first, then add to it.

 2. Journaling - What I tried initially was meditation and to varying degrees it did work. The problems with it were that sometimes my mind was still racing and if the thoughts were persistent I became wide awake again and I could be up for the rest of the night. 

 Journaling directly about what was bothering me had the ability to transfer those worries, anxieties and joys onto the pages I was writing. I honestly don’t know how it works I can just testify that it does. It formulates them in front of you and somehow they don’t seem to be as big as they were before. You can also go about finding solutions to them. I’ll expand on what I precisely write in another article.

 3. Podcast -  It took me years to get around to this. I am a very light sleeper and my main reason for doing this was to increase my immersion environment for language learning. Surprisingly because all the podcasts are quiet in tone and I don’t understand anything being said, my mind doesn’t fixate on any of it and it acts like white noise in the background and helps overshadow less desirable noises.

4. Earplugs - This might sound contradictory to the last point but the ear closest to the door is the one I use an earplug for. All the noise coming from that direction can be lowered and the usual sounds of the podcast that I’m familiar with can be focused on to get me to sleep easier. Some nights I do use both earplugs to cancel out as much as possible and this varies from time to time.

 These are all just some things I use to help with getting better quality sleep and tackling the challenges I face each day. 

In Summation - Get consistent at going to bed and waking up at the same times and then add other things that help that.

I hope this helps, it certainly has for me,

- Racism is causing physical harm to someone based on their race, their ethnicity - 

Preconditions For This Argument - Someone has been physically harmed. 

Is it judging an individual negatively on their inherent, unchangeable characteristics? What is judgement? Is it pre-judging someone aka prejudice? Well prejudice is a preconceived idea of something. 

Can I be prejudice but not be racist? Well yes, because I can be prejudice about someone positively, because they’re from a particular country, they’re really friendly and kind. So I can be prejudice about someone and not be racist. Bias is basing an idea on your feeling rather than logic.

Two products are the same, the same taste but one comes from my country and the other from another country. I choose the one that’s from the other country even though there’s no conceivable difference between the countries that would produce a superior tasting product. Bias is emotional favour or un-favour.

Aha! It’s being discriminatory towards race. Now how do we define discriminatory and how do we define race? If you were only allowing green eyed people into a green eyed event and no one else, would that be discrimination? Well yes because excluding individuals based on their race or ethnicity not on religious beliefs or interest. 

There’s also a difference between physical and verbal harm. Physical harm, harm on the body is much easier to detect so we’ll focus on that one for now.

You also have to be able to prove intent, it’s an incredibly important word, what that individual wanted to bring about. You also have to be able to disprove that it wasn’t a term of endearment, camaraderie, joke or because of a mental disability or ignorance.

Unless of course we live in a world where people’s only option is to tell the truth, it shines a light on how incredibly difficult it is to prove intention.  If the action is or has already been carried out, then we’re judging what that individual wanted to bring about in that moment the action happened.

Can you have the intention to cause physical harm to someone but never carry it out and therefore, have you caused any physical harm? Well no. Intention and the past or current carrying out of something are different things. Intention means what you want to bring about, it’s in the future, it’s possibility it’s not definite. The other two are what you have done in the past or what you are currently doing, dealing with the past and present.

So if those criteria, of intention were proved and the other ones disproved would that be racism? Well yes. So “Racism is causing physical harm to someone based on their race and ethnicity.”

There is so much more to cover in this topic, but that’s my two cents for now. 

TO BE CONTINUED...

I hope as always this helped,

It sure did me.

Preconditions For This Debate - Motivation and Willpower are depletable resources that can’t be used on command. 

We have dips in our motivation and maybe it’s not a question of how we can keep it but to accept that it fluctuates and to go with it when it does fluctuate. Maybe it’s also telling you to slow the hell down. Too much dear child...! Too much.

 I’m wondering if I follow my instincts for short bursts of creativity will that build up a sort of tolerance for me to do longer ones over time? Maybe just focus on the now and see where it takes me? I understand that willpower and motivation can’t be relied upon completely because I can’t use them on command.

 So much affects you like how you feel, are you tired, is what you’re working on boring to you, what’s occurred during the day. I’m reflecting on when I have done things consistently and seen progress. 

 1. Enough sleep & taking naps. - I’ve prioritised this because I find nothing kills your ability to do things more than if you are tired. You can’t outfight fatigue, it always catches up to you in the end. If you haven’t slept enough I find things can be insurmountably more difficult than when I’m not rested. Also for me usually after lunch, I always get sleepy and to counteract some of that grogginess I take a 15 minute nap and I have found this to be very effective in getting me back on track for the day. In the word of Arianna Huffington “Sleep your way to the top.”

2. Scheduling in today what I plan to do tomorrow. - I argue that coming up with a plan on the spot and completing it or just seeing how it goes is more difficult than just following a pre-planned one. You first have to think about what you want to get done. Then schedule in how much time you can give that task before moving onto the next task and that you’ve placed all of these in the best order possible.

 Having this done the day before removes the pressure of having to depend on your motivation or willpower to get it done when if it’s pre-planned all you need to do is look at it. Just before going to bed, I get out google calendar and write out the day I’ll have tomorrow and to my surprise it usually turns out that way and I need to depend less on asking myself to do those things and just get them done as a consequence of having them scheduled.

3. Doing certain things first. - We have a way of talking ourselves out of things. When I wake up in the morning my consciousness doesn’t seem to immediately be at it’s best and so I take advantage of that with a task that I might otherwise not do. Exercise or my language learning are the two that come to mind and so I schedule them first thing in the morning and again to my surprise they seem to get done.

 If you do these things consistently they’ll become your routine and as the foundation of one I think it’s a good one. All of these tools have drastically helped me in my life and they might for you too. They’re all simple, practicable and achievable and they bring results. 

 Nothing is fool proof and there’ll be days when you and everything are just off but a vast majority of things have been shifted for the better. So use your initial motivation and willpower to set up things that form a helpful routine and let that routine carry you to your goals.

In Summation - Take care of your sleep, nap once a day, schedule your tomorrow today and do the things that need to be done first, first. 

I hope this helps, it sure did for me,

Preconditions For This Debate - Acknowledging that obstacles exist and that you will most likely encounter them.

 “We know that obstacles will be seemingly impossible to avoid. They can certainly leave us feeling defeated. Firstly what are obstacles?”

 “Obstacles are what prevent progress.”

“How can we approach them either leaving us unscathed or at least reducing the damage?”

 “We could lower our expectations.”

“How might that help us?”

“Well if we were to pre-conceive an obstacle before hand and then it did occur we’d be less likely to be deterred from our goal because we already expected it to happen.”

“Yes very true, we’re not lowering our aim but lowering our expectations that it’s almost inevitable that we’ll encounter obstacles and therefore we should expect them and not be surprised when they do happen. If we knew it was going to rain, we wouldn’t be surprised by it when it did occur and we should do our best to overcome it. Any other ways to deal with obstacles?”

"Yes, we could list as many obstacles as we can think of, so that you can see what the problems could be and also see if you can figure out possible solutions to overcome them. If they did occur then you’d have a solution at hand and might be able to subside your emotional response to an obstacle."

“Excellent, there may be more tools that we could discover on our journey but for now, let’s leave it there.”

In Summation - Obstacles are seemingly impossible to avoid, we can lower our expectations so that when we do encounter them we are less likely to be completely deterred from our goals. Listing obstacles and finding solutions can be helpful to overcome them.

I hope this helped, it sure did for me.

Preconditions for this debate - You agree that the journey begins when you engage in life, life matters and that there are somethings that you have control over and you should engage in them against all odds in the hope that life will improve.

 “Let’s start with defining faith. What’s faith?”

 “Faith is the confidence in hope.”

 “Well then what’s hope?”

 “Hope is wanting something to occur. Both have no guarantees.”

 “So to go on this journey we have to have the faith that we can do it?”

 “Yes, faith that against all odds we can make life better than what it currently is.”

 “Define life?

 “All experienced consciousness.”

 “So we’re engaging in this consciousness in the faith that we can improve it?”

 “Yes.”

 “And that it’s a journey.”

 “Why a journey?”

 “Well a journey means you’re starting from one place and moving towards a particular destination. While also you’re standing up against adversity and that takes courage. That’s why it’s called the Hero’s journey because Hero’s are courageous in the face of adversity.”

 “So adversity is almost certain?”

 “Yes that’s true but how do we want to engage in adversity?”

 “With courage.”

 “Yes with courage, to voluntarily choose to face adversity when it appears and having faith and hope that by doing our best we’ll overcome it.”

 “It’d be so much easier without adversity to just go straight from A to B?”

 “Yes it would but when we struggle with adversity that’s where all the lessons are, that’s where incremental progress lies. So lets adopt a mindset to actively seek adversity, knowing that the quicker you fail at something, the quicker you eliminate all the obstacles that might prevent you from achieving the goal.”

 “That way we’re still voluntarily engaging even with adversity.”

 “Yes and also understanding that in the pursuit of a goal, achieving the Hero’s Journey, much of us that existed before the journey might have left us.”

 “Why might that happen?”

 “Because what you thought might’ve been true could turn out to be false or untrue and something else needs to take it’s place better than before. Like a snake shedding it’s old skin for a new and better one. We might also get injured along the way but having the faith that’ll we’ll be stronger than before. I’ll leave you with that for now, all the rest is just detail, detail.”

In Summation - Have Courage by actively seek adversity knowing that the quicker you fail at something, the quicker you might eliminate the obstacles that prevent you from achieving the goal. And have faith and hope that you can and will overcome them.

That’s all for now folks,

Preconditions for this debate - You have consciousness and you can think. 

  “It doesn’t begin at all. “ 

  “Right there, in that moment (It doesn’t begin at all) you’re engaging in this discussion, this discussion is part of life. So the moment you engage with life, the journey begins.”

 “Yeah but I didn’t choose to engage.” 

 “Name all the things that don’t matter to you?” 

 “[Insert all things that don’t matter to you]” 

 “Well did you engage in any of them in the last week, month or year?” 

 “Well no.” 

 “Why not?” 

 “Because they don’t interest me.” 

 "So the things that don't interest you or bother you, don't matter to you?"

 "Exactly!"

 "Exactly. Things that don’t matter to us we don’t engage in and therefore the things that do matter to us we do engage in. They're all part of life. "

 "Ok so, life matters. We're going to engage with it but why?'

 "Well if we do nothing to change anything we should expect nothing to change, that sounds fair doesn't it?"

 "Well no because we don't have control over everything and even if we do engage, things might still not work out for the better or we could make things worse?"

 "Very true, we don't have control over everything but that doesn't mean we don't have control over anything, therefore we do have control over somethings. Let's discuss what those obstacles might be but those somethings we do have control over we should engage in because even the tiniest one could change our life for the better."

 “Ok so but which ones are for the better?”

 “We don’t know which ones and that’s why we have to take a leap of faith.”

 “That seems like a pretty big risk considering that things might not get better or may turn out worse.”

 “True but what’s our other choice to do nothing? We know that we can’t expect anything to change unless we’re willing to go out and change it. You have to voluntarily engage with life in the hope that it will improve, even if it’s just  incrementally because you can build on that.”

In Summation - The Hero’s journey begins with voluntarily engaging in life. Life matters. We have control over somethings and we should engage in them because they could lead us to a better life, even if just incrementally. Start doing things in a way that you believe will make life better because you can, have faith and courage that you can.

TO BE CONTINUED

I hope this helps, it sure did for me.

 From writing a previous article on values I composed a very short list of what to me are the important, beneficial ideas I live by and one of them was “To stand up for myself and others if I perceive injustice". If we don't think for ourselves, don't question anything, except everything as dogma and remain ignorant that the consequences could be very bad for us.

I find it imperative that I treat people with fairness. Depending on the circumstances will depend on how I treat that individual, which then arose the understanding that not all encounters will be just. I argue that I have a personal responsibility when I believe I encounter injustice to ACTIVELY fight against it because I could prevent more unfairness in the world.

I urge the responsibility of defending oneself and others and speaking up against such encounters. The two ways I understand so far how to do that are by expressing my vocal support or opposition and by protesting.

What could be the repercussions of speaking up?

I could face strong opposition by those I’m opposing and those I’m defending.

I could become the target of a physical or verbal attack.

My words could be misconstrued, used against me and I could be blamed instead as the original author, for perpetuating or for being an advocate or supporter of things I oppose.

What could be the reasons that I don’t engage in this value?

The repercussions could be too severe.

I don’t understand the circumstances fully.

I wish to find out more first.

I don’t believe it is injustice.

I’ve got too much on my plate already.

I don’t care about the issue.

What should I NOT be looking for?

Support from those who agree with me and those I’m defending.

Peace of mind.

Others to do the same for me.

What should I expect?

Lots of hate.

That I’ll be rattled by the comments.

How should I engage with comments and opposition?

With humour.

Emotionally un-attach from the outcome.

With the mindset that I'll be wrong, fail and have to change my opinion and be embarrassed.

Why should I do it?

My value of standing up for myself and others.

To stand up for my values and what I value.

To stand up against injustice.

The one however that took precedent over all the rest was because to not do so could have dire consequences.

I hope this helped, it sure did me.

- Successful is doing your best -

I define success as achieving a meaningful goal. The “ing” part of that means that it’s a verb, so it’s action based, you have to do something to get success and the achieve part is determined on your own personal parameters. 

If you only achieved half of what you set out for the day would that be success? Well it depends on whether for you success is all-or-nothing or whether there where contributing factors and as a result you did your best and that to you is success. I choose doing my best as the marker of success.

So if I didn’t do my best would that be unsuccessful? Well, yes. So would doing my best be successful for me? Yes it would be actually. Well then, Successful is doing my best.

Well if successful is doing my best, what do I think I should be successful at? Well is there anything that would prevent me from being successful? Well yeah actually if my health was affected. How could I hope to be successful in other endeavours if my physical and emotional health weren’t at their best. 

That makes such logical sense. So one thing I think I should be successful at is taking good care of my health. It’s so peculiar because even if you wished to harm yourself the one thing that would get in your way would be that your health would affected and therefore how could that be your goal if every time you harm yourself you’d be going against the one thing that you think you should be successful at, taking good care of your health. 

It occurred to me as well, that what I value are loved ones, health and passions. Like from the empty pickle jar post, these are the things that are most meaningful to me in life. So do I believe that I would be successful in life if I was successful in these? Yes I absolutely would. So what I value would make me successful.

Also after writing the previous article on values, the important, beneficial ideas that you live by. I understand that they will inform me in life and create a way of being, a modus operandi that will benefit me and others. So if I was successful in my values, would that make me successful? Yes it would also. So being successful in my values and what I value would make me successful.

So that’s a start, there can be many more things I value and more values that I might discover.

I hope this helps, it sure did me.

As always,

- There are things that are innately yours, expressly yours in this life, they are in you, things that set your soul on fire and that without you would cease to exist -

This one is dedicated to my mam, who always encouraged me to discover my passions and to engage in a life filled with them.

When I was very young my mother taught me about the passions. She said “Hopefully darling, if you’re lucky you’ll be blessed to discover your passions. There’s three ways you might express them.” “The first is that you decide not to engage in them at all and I hope that you don’t decide to do this.”

“Life can be hard, it can be very hard and we need those things that can lift us out of the hardships that we’ll face on this journey. When you have nothing to live for, it can be very difficult to continue on and be hopeful, but, if you can return to the things that you enjoy doing you’ll always have a safe space.”

“When life beats you down and I’m sorry to say it will, knowing who to return to and what to return to can give you a place that’s just your own. So please, please decide to engage in them as much as possible.”

“The second is where you can choose to lay, when you give your heart to them, do them when you can and if possible share your work with others. This will make your life a whole lot better, there’s not many things that might bring you enjoyment, so relish the time you do get for them. Grow in them if you want, play with them, but most of all ENJOY THEM. It heals, it nourishes the soul. That’s the golden zone, the sweet spot.”

“And finally the third and this is what happens if you get really lucky in life, your passions become your job. Now I hope you get here, I really do but if you don’t my darling, that’s ok because the second way is still more than enough. So do your best to discover them, count your blessings, take a deep breath in and and go and do what fills your heart up with joy.”

And now a second story to argue your personal responsibility to share your passions because you can help your fellow humans and as a by-product increase your joy further. I came back from work and my older brother was preparing us a meal. I watched him. I could observe how much he loved cooking, how it excited him, engaged him and even slightly challenged him. 

When he was serving up, I could see the lights come on in his eyes, he looked just like a puppy when it greets it’s owner at the door from work. The smile he had when he presented me the dish, the nerves when he waited for my opinion and the exaltation when he could feel my authentic joy for the food and thanks for the meal. 

He taught me that day. Not only do your passions bring you joy but they are amplified when shared with others and they can bring others joy as well. What a wonderful possibility, the fact that we are each endowed with the ability to lift ourselves and others out of hardship and into joy, that really is something to be grateful for. So for the first time ever here, I advocate you to be selfish in sharing your passions with others so that your joy can be further amplified as well.

That’s all for now folks.

Hope this helped, it sure did for me,

- Values are important, beneficial ideas you live by - 

Ok well what are my values? Treating people with fairness. I believe that I should treat people depending on circumstances. So this is an action that I agree with and wish to carry out. Ahhh! So something to live by. That’s the first part, I live by them, day by day, moment by moment as best as I can, I won’t be perfect but they’re what I’m striving for, what I’m trying to bring about.

These ideas I believe are good for myself and others. They’re beneficial because their effects are good for everybody to live in harmony, to moderate behaviour and how I act in situations.

But do I believe that they’re beneficial for me and others? If one of my values is to stay firm and committed to my boundaries, would that benefit a partner I was with? Well yes because I would be letting my partner know what I’m ok with and what I’m not ok with and they’re preventing negative situations from happening in the future. 

So they’re beneficial, they’re helpful and therefore good? Well, yes. A way of being that I’m trying to achieve in myself, for the benefit of myself and others but that I won’t always do. So values are beneficial ideas you live by. 

Well that’s true but something feels missing, so it isn’t quite there. If I eat more fruit and vegetables would that be a value? Well, no. It’s a beneficial idea that I can live by. Something about that doesn’t feel right. It is beneficial but it doesn’t feel important enough, not enough meaning to be considered a value. Ahah! So values are individual in nature, what I value may not be what other’s value, I also have a higher order, I prioritise what’s important to me and that’s something personal. Some are important enough to be values, while others are just beneficial ideas.

So values are important, beneficial ideas you live by. So if I was successful in my values would that be success for me? Well yes it would be. While writing this I wrote somethings that I consider values, but I also realised that priority is important so that I avoid as much as possible a clash of values. But I also had Done BEATS Perfection as the prevailing value that will take precedent over all others. 

All the ones I wrote down were all action based and as success is achieving a meaning goal and successful is doing my best, it’s also important to note that getting something done is far better than it never being finished. The badly written blog is far better than the blog that never happens, stumbling in the dark is inevitable because when you begin anything you will suck. Words to live by. 

I also just want to note two things that get in the way, shame and perfection. As Brene Brown writes ”Shame is that we are bad” and “Perfection is a form of shame and that if I do, say and act perfectly I can avoid vulnerability”. Well that is just crazy because perfection doesn’t exist and we can’t control everything and therefore we are going to make mistakes and therefore be vulnerable.

Remember that you can never know, be or do enough before you decide to take action. No one can ask anyone to be perfect. I'll think for myself. I refuse to be complicit and remain in a perpetual state of inertia.

- Equality is treating people the same, irrespective of circumstances -

I started this conversation by texting 4 friends, all with the question “What is Equality?”. 

Here is how they went. Friend 1 said “Being equal.”

“Ok, well then what is equal? Is equal the same as equality?”

“Ya. Equal regardless of circumstance.”

“But surely if you’re a murderer you wouldn’t be equal (being the same) to everyone else, you’d have certain restrictions in place, like your employer would know that you’ve murdered and you’d be judged and therefore you wouldn’t be equal? Or does circumstance mean to you inherent unchangeable characteristics? Like me being straight and you being gay?”

“Yeah, race, ethnicity, sexuality, religion etc.”

“So people shouldn’t receive prejudice based on these inherent unchangeable characteristics. We’ll just say for ease that those four you named are all the inherent ones and people aren’t prejudice towards them, does that mean that’s equality?”

“But if someone feels they are being prejudice towards someone for whatever reason that’s creating inequality.”

Friend 2 said “Equality to me means equal opportunities for all.” 

“Could you have equality of opportunity and there still not be equality?”

Two things came up for me, the definition of equality is not equal opportunity because two people can have the same opportunities in life and both commit the same crime but one gets more jail time than the other, therefore you can have equal opportunity and there still wouldn’t be equality in the world. I also felt they were both talking about a sense of “Fairness”. I was getting closer. Equal is something being the same as something else but what is Equality?

Friend 3 said “To present a blank canvas and allow all individuals to leave their mark. After which one can form an opinion based on the desired relationship and information attained. To get pay based on the role and skill, not gender, race or preference. A fair unbiased opinion (although we are never unbiased) when the same opportunity is presented to another individual. I’ll tell you what comes to mind Gender - Women vs Men, Race - All others vs White, Pay - Race & Women vs Men. Well in brief it’s to be fair to all. But if you really think about it (which I’m sure you have), it’s more complicated than that.”

“I’ve just discovered from talking to others that I’m getting a sense of “FAIRNESS” from everyone.

“Of course.”

“Rather than it being about a fair discussion and a sorting out in fairness, it’s become attacks from one side to another and that causes division.”

“Agreed.”

Well that one went deep, everyone I’ve talked to has very strong feelings about these topics but I have to be rational when answering these definitions. Well, what is Equality not? Being unfair. So equality is being fair? Well yes but is that all, does that cover everything, all the meaning? Something doesn’t feel right about that.

What about advantage and what about circumstances? They exist in life, advantage is having more than in something, for example people who are stronger have more than other people who aren’t as a strong, that’s an advantage. Circumstances are contributing factors in events. If two people commit the same crime but one has a mental disability that in some way contributed to their crime, would it be equality to sentence both equally? Yes it would. BINGO! 

Equality is treating people the same irrespective of circumstances. Fairness is treating people with respect to circumstances. There’s a difference, there’s nuance between the two. 

If two people attack someone, equality says they both committed the same offence they both get jailed for 2 years, that’s equal. Fairness says one person had the intention to attack someone else, the other person was defending himself against an attacker and as a result he attacked back and hurt the aggressor in self defence. The former gets 2 years, the latter might get no time at all. Fairness is open to multi-variants, Equality is only two things compared to each other.

The final chapter came with Friend 4 the day after, “I was thinking about what you said, that so far what you got from people was that equality was a sense of fairness... but treating two people equally and two people fairly is actually different. If you treat them equally, you treat them exactly the same way, regardless of who they are etc. If you treat them fairly, then maybe you might take into consideration the fact that they might need to be treated differently to be equals. In that case you are not treating them equally but fairly. For instance, when the government put into place quotas to have people of different backgrounds being represented in a work environment... it means when you are hiring you are not treating people equally but treating them on the basis that this is “fair”. So actually I think equality and fairness are very different!”

“I figured that difference out last night and I’m glad you did too. However I argue that for employment, we should hire not based on representation but a system of meritocracy. How competent, how talented someone is at that particular job. Equality says 50% women and 50% men for jobs but fairness asks to take into consideration circumstances and the one I argue is the most important and should take first priority is talent.(Meritocracy is awarding people based on talent.) What if 75% of all the doctors are women and the remaining 15% are men. Equality would say we need to equal the numbers out but fairness (meritocracy) says let the best person for the job get the job. We certainly are biased, that’s why we say we need to get a “feel” for the person being interviewed for the job and the personality of that person is a huge contributing factor to getting employed, it’s the same for friendships, we want to feel like we’re “vibing” with someone, but I argue let’s prioritise meritocracy over representation because in doing so we are hiring people who are the best for the job. That’s a better option because that way we are all getting the best services possible because no one better could have been in those jobs. Equality says equal representation because that’s the same but fairness (meritocracy) says let’s have the most talented get the best positions and if that pushes more towards certain demographics, that’s unfortunate but what we can guarantee is that we’ll have the best services and everyone benefits from the best possible services, the reverse isn’t true and that to me is fair.”

Hope this helps, it sure did for me.

That’s all for now folks,

How do we engage with each other? How can we debate and discuss ideas? Certain arguments can't continue because they could be falling into one of these things and THEY are what can prevent debate from continuing.

Claims with no evidence - When a person claims that "scientists" or "studies have shown" particular things and you ask which scientists and which studies and they don't say the names or the studies, reject the claim. You don't have to believe anything people claim without evidence, and if they do provide evidence, look at it and see if it's factual, argue it or show a counter argument, that way we can actually get to the truth. I'm asking for evidence you're not providing any or I haven't read it, so I reject your claim. You're making a statement, I'm asking for proof, you say you don't have any, I don't believe you.

Double Standards - Be on the look out for these. I can say this but you can't, I can do this but you can't. That's a double standard. One rule for you, a different rule for me. They're being a hypocrite and THEY need to change NOT you, or you do what they're doing and give them a taste of their own medicine and ask if it's not good enough for you why should it be good enough for me? You're a hypocrite and I don't comply with hypocrites.

Shouting Over (Emoting) - A typical scenario can go "You're cutting over me. Stop cutting over me. You're cutting me off." People want to win rather than be right. They can also just get super emotional and then the conversation has to stop, I think this is where sparks can fly the most and if you're not on the look out you could be joining in with them in the shouting arena as well. Breath, hold your space.

Jumping Questions and Answers - When you ask a question or make a statement and they jump to something else without answering what you said. “I didn't ask you that, you're jumping questions. I didn't say that, I said this.” Keep bringing them right back.

Virtue Signalling & Moral Superiority - "I can't believe you just said that." Meaning look how awful you are and look at how wonderful I am. I would never say anything like that and we should just totally look at you in a negative light rather than look at the argument. Same as the people who jump, just keep bringing them back and say “You’re just virtue signalling, that’s not what the argument is about.”

Remember just because we disagree on some points, it doesn't mean that we'll disagree on everything. The world is becoming more divided because of our own intolerance to different opinions, build those muscles up. If you've got a good argument great but if it's been beaten, we need to listen and learn and stop using emotion to get our way in this world. It helps no one in the long term.

Free Speech is being allowed to say anything you want, however you want with impunity. We're going to disagree on things, people are too vast and too varied to all be thinking the same and shutting conversations down, ostracizing people by cancelling them won't bring us together.

I agree that you shouldn't go out of your way with the intention to offend people but, we need to be allowed to discuss issues and in discussing things that means in all likelihood, people will get offended. The former we need, the later is inevitable. Remember in the words of Ricky Gervais "Just because you're offended doesn't mean you're right." and I add you're just offended, you don't spontaneously combust, you're just offended. Let's keep the conversation going.

That's all for now folks,

I've learned a hard lesson. Everything comes from money because when you don't have it, everything becomes about it. Everything comes into sharp focus and it claws away at you from the inside. I need to work and that's such a certain realization. I believe I have my priorities straight BUT, and it's a big but, when I don't have enough money it's very difficult not to be impacted by that, because you do your budgeting and then you try to LIVE, to go out and to enjoy yourself, all this requires finance and I think when you're on a wage that doesn't go very far, a simple "You're working so hard, why don't you just take a day off." simply won't cut it.

Also the power of voluntarily choosing to work what you must changes your perspective, the power is back in your court and you're more prepared to tackle the week ahead because you've chosen your sacrifice voluntarily. I've found having too much time flattens productivity and my quality of life, however being over worked exhausts me beyond repair. I'm striving to find that happy medium and when I lean slightly towards working more, I find myself actually spending my spare time with friends, calling my family more, working on the things I love, going to the places I want to see and doing the things that set me alight because I know I'll be back to something I hate doing, that robs me of my soul. Sometimes there's a gift in such curses and sometimes choosing to be there rather than just subjecting yourself to the circumstance changes everything.

I want this post to restore dignity to the ordinary worker, who’s not doing the job they love and to know that what you do is nothing short of a miracle, give yourself a bit more credit. So keep hustling, keep doing what you're doing because you're doing the best you can and that's what successful is.

Just a short one today, but a powerful one.

You might have heard this lesson before or in a slightly different way or luckily for me never before. The essence of this lesson runs true and deep but don’t take it so on the nose, let it guide you, let it inform you. I heard it years ago and like all great lessons forgot about it until I heard it a few weeks ago again and I think it’s worth the time to tell it.

A philosophy professor walks into his classroom and put an empty pickle jar on his desk, he then gets out a container of rocks and then fills the pickle jar with them. He then asks his students if the pickle jar is full and the students respond “Yes.”

He then takes out a container of pebbles and begins to fill it up with them and again asks his students “Is the jar full now?” they respond with confidence “Yes.” But he then takes out a container of sand fills it up and asks “What about now?” and with a resounding “YESSSS!!!!” they answer him.

Finally one last thing, a bottle of chocolate milk is poured over the contents and for the last time he asks “Is this full now? and the students with a chuckle say “Yes.” and the professor says “Yes it finally is.” Everyone laughs.

He begins “Well you see this jar represents your life. The rocks are the most important things in life, Your Loved Ones, Your Health, Your Passions. The next things are the pebbles, these are things that are a little important Money, Your Career/Job, Your House, Your Car. Important things just not as important as The Rocks. Finally the sand is material possessions, everything else.”

He says “See if you started by filling up the jar with sand and pebbles you wouldn’t have any room left for the rocks, the same is true in life. We get so focused on our job, house, car, material things that we can completely postpone and put off the things that mean the most. So go spend lots of time with the ones you love, create those memories, laugh a lot, have fun, enjoy yourself, take that trip, eat that food, take good care of your physical and mental health and let your passions save and sustain you. Take care of the rocks, the rest is just sand and pebbles.” 

A student raises his hand and says “But what about the chocolate milk?” The professor says “Well I’m glad you asked. No matter how busy your life gets, there’s always time for chocolate.”

I hope this lesson helps and gives you some perspective. Don’t take it as an absolute rule but as a rule of thumb, remember to let it guide you and inform you.

As always that’s all for now folks,

Have a great day, get out there, make them memories and the rest is just sand and pebbles.