Offend
@jeggyverses-jegulus-microfic word count: 383
“What are you talking about, Moony?” James' voice carried through the closed front door of their flare as he unlocked it. “Why would I be scared of - MERLIN’S FUCKING BALLS WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!”
Cackling, Sirius shut the door behind them while James clung to Remus’ arm in apparent terror. Regulus would laugh too, but he was too busy feigning offense.
“James, be polite! You’ll offend her.” He pouted, gathering the hairless cat from his lap to his arms as he stood.
“Her? Oh shit- Regulus don’t!” James said sharply as Regulus came a bit closer. Now he had to laugh a little. James’ irrational fear of cats was always funny, in his opinion, but his reaction to a hairless cat seemed to live up to Sirius’ expectations of it. James whined, literally hiding behind Remus as Regulus came to stand beside them.
“Isn’t she gorgeous?” Regulus teased, “Her name is Tina.” Remus raised a cautious hand to give Tina some gentle chin scratches, which she approved of. James peaked over his shoulder, eyes wide.
“What is she doing here, Reg?” Sirius asked encouragingly, despite already knowing exactly why.
“I’ve adopted her.” Regulus lied easily.
“WHAT!”
“She needed a home, James!” Sirius insisted, and Remus snorted, moving to the kitchen to start dinner leaving James without his protection. Backing against the wall James glared, terrified, at the poor, hairless creature in his boyfriend's arms.
“Not this home! Regulus- really?” When Regulus only shrugged James whined petulant again. “It’s just a cat, James.”
“No- no, no, no that is not a cat! And even if it was, you know how I feel about cats!” Smirking, Regulus just gave another graceful shrug and James’ brow furrowed. “It’s me or the cat then, Regulus. Which do you want to live with?” Narrowing his eyes, Regulus turned away from James and moved towards the hallway.
“Come on Tina, let’s show you your new bedroom.”
“Regulus!” James cried indignantly behind him, and Regulus hid his amused grin by dipping into the bedroom. Behind him he could hear Sirius half mocking, half comforting James. Any minute now Barty would knock on the door to collect Evan’s new foster project, but for now it was just fun to watch James squirm; he was so cute when he was mad.
