me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: π€€
the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup
One Nice Bug Per Day

if i look back, i am lost
hello vonnie
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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almost home
π
cherry valley forever
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Discoholic πͺ©

YOU ARE THE REASON


titsay
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Sweet Seals For You, Always

#extradirty

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@theangstiestbean
me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: π€€
the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

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what companies who sell you anti aging stuff don't want you to know is that if you're chill about aging, your perception of attractiveness changes as you get older. there is no "wall" where you suddenly become ugly and unfuckable because in my experience what actually happens is you get into your thirties and suddenly realize that people in their thirties are hot as fuck and the "flaws" that the beauty industry wants you to panic about are a feature not a bug, and based on the std statistics in nursing homes I don't really expect that trajectory to change.
I just want to love and be loved. why is lunch twelve dollars now
the funniest part of the jason x sex scene post is actually watching jason x and finding out that the sex scene was plot relevant because jason revives at the very same time they were having sex in the room next door and it's implied that jason could sense them having sex while he was cryogenically frozen and it pissed him so much (because he hates sex) that it revived him. if you removed it you would make the movie less funny.
the poster who's mad about the sex scene in jason x is actually jason's tumblr account
"sex scenes have no narrative purpose" is such a funny take on so many levels. people will really believe that the whole human experience is valuable to portray artistically except sex, which of course has never held emotional weight or significance for anybody
"what's the purpose of sex scenes in media??" well you see sometimes people have sex. sometimes it can be important even
yeah ok but i dont wanna watch straight sex scene number 1231234837582 in the middle of some movie thats clearly not fucking high art or anything, like please, tell me how the sex scene made jason X a deeper movie ill wait
you genuinely think that "the sex scene in Jason X, the movie about jason from Friday the 13th killing people in space, is bad" is a rebuttal to this point? like genuinely? genuinely? like you think that's the kind of sex scene I was talking about in the original post? you think when I'm talking about the artistic merit of sex scenes in movies you think I'm talking about the bit with the dominatrix in Jason X (2001) dir. James Isaac, the movie where Jason from Friday the 13th gets put in cryosleep and wakes up in the future on a spaceship where he starts killing people in outer space? you genuinely think this is the kind of movie and scene I'm referring to when I'm arguing for the potential artistic value of a type of scene? Jason X? Jason X? the one with Jason on a spaceship? you think that "well Jason X, the movie about Jason on a spaceship killing people in space, is bad" is a rebuttal to my point? Jason X? Jason X? J

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Last month I caught Covid, and right at the start of my symptoms I saw this post. For the next 8ish days, I was HAUNTED by this song. It played on a loop in my head for hours. I would wake up in the middle of the night covered in sweat singing ββ¦mixed with Zach Galifianakisβ as it bounced around in my virus-addled brain. It was literally inescapable.
Anyway as soon as that ended, the Morbin Time memes started so you can imagine how that went for me, who would be deliriously sick for another 5 days.
Happy 3 year anniversary to this post, Zach Galifianakis still haunts me in my fucking dreams like the predator
they should make a pill that makes people in their 20s feel good about where their lives are going
Impressive to me that no one said the same thing twice
am i allowed to say kill all trillionaires or is that too specific of a threat
has anyone else noticed that pretty much everyone who is worth knowing seems to be doing really bad all of the time and is never allowed a moment's respite from all the pointless cruelties and horrors βββββββ
"this is unbecoming of me" is genuinely a useful thing to have in your mental toolbox

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the holy trinity: the father (fuck it we ball) the son (it is what it is) the holy spirit (to be cringe is to be free)
PROJECT HAIL MARY 2026, dir. Phil Lord & Christopher Miller
all gambling advertising should be illegal
same goes for weight loss and alcohol and credit cards and vapes and crypto and medicine and religion and. all adverts should be illegal.
it really is crazy that women's clothes don't fit anybody. fat women can't find clothes, skinny women can't find clothes, tall women can't find clothes, short women can't find clothes, big chested women can't find clothes, small chested women can't find clothes. who the fuck are these being made for
we all really resonated with this one huh
As near as I can tell theyβre all just designed to hang on hangers.

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2 genres of fanfiction:
1) put that guy into situations
2) take that guy OUT of situations for the love of GOD let them RESTΒ
#you put the sad guy in #you take the sad guy out #you put the sad guy in and you shake him all about
brought nothing to the gun fight. whatever man