I know the tale and I know it too well...

hobbits were the peak of civilization in tolkien verse. jobs were Gardening, Stall At The Farmer’s Market, or Mailman. Shoes OFF, capris ON, 6 meals a day, high and fat as all shit. Names like Daddy Twofoot….why the fuck are we horny for elves

Morgan & Morgan. For the people.

Fieger Law: All We Do Is Win

I don't have a picture, but our area is flooded with a dude holding a comedically large hammer and looking to sue the shit out of any truckers that have injured you.

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

nature documentary but the narration is just weird enough to make you question it

“Some fish can walk out of water, so remember that next time.”

“You might think you’re safe, but horses are omnivores”

Lot of talk about "slop" not so much about "troughs" (for the slop. Like a pig). Many accounts are troughs. Sometimes entire platforms are troughs. Platforms will try to add a trough subplatform, and direct you towards it, so you spend all your time eating slop. Beware the trough

And also the indestructibility of that woman's ankles

When I was training to be a paramedic, we had one student ask the instructor what to do in the event of a marijuana overdose. The instructor said "Tell him to take two twinkies and call you in the morning."

"are you normal about-" no I'm an insane pervert

He was as tall as he was tall, and his eyes were the color they were. To describe his hair one would say that he had some. His face had all the features you'd expect, and none of the ones you wouldn't. "There he is," people would often say of him, but only when he was there. And they were right.

in the club sipping on that shit that makes every steven universe character hate you