The Ace Place

Happy Asexual Awareness Week! Here are some canon a-spec ladies of lit.

Felicity Montague: The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue. Author confirmation.

Ling Chan: The Diviners.

Sandrilene Fa Toran: Circle of Magic. Author confirmation.

Nancy: Every Heart a Doorway.

Keladry of Mindelan: Protector of the Small. Author confirmation on aro rep. Author confirmation on ace rep.

Pride Pins and Stickers from Vreemdear

Behold! The Demiromantic version of my Demisaurus Rex! :D

CALLING ALL LGBTQIA+ INDIVIDUALS AND ALLIES

If you consider yourself on the aromantic/asexual spectrums, know someone who is, or are wanting to become more educated on people who are, tune into “A OK”, an interview-based Podcast on all things ace/aro hosted by my super cool seester!

For 🌈Pride Month🌈, be a cool ally of those who are ace/aro, because there are more people who fall on these spectrums than you would expect. Representation and education matters. We are all variants on this spectrum of human experience and we are all whole, welcomed, and celebrated.

If you really want to support my sister and this mission, please share this link with someone, or like, leave a comment, and/or leave a REVIEW on the Podcast! A little recognition goes a long way for those starting up!

P.S. I’m SO PROUD of my sister! ✨🎉✨

Because my mother told me that all I needed to do was get drunk and lie back and let my husband have his fun. Because if I was drunk, I’d be more relaxed and it’d be over sooner

Because my sister told me that I was trapping my husband in an abusive marriage, and that one day he was going to leave me

Because both of them looked at me in disgust

Because my asexuality is considered to be as great a crime against my husband as a woman who has affairs and cheats on her husband

Because my cousin didn’t even try to understand, and just kept asking ‘but what about in five years? how will you feel then?’

Because I was so afraid of my body and so afraid of sex that I didn’t seek medical help for a legitimate question for over a year for fear of being labelled a deviant or something broken

Because I still ask myself at least once every day if my husband wouldn’t be better off without me

Because I still ask myself at least once every day if I’m broken

Because I still tell myself at least once every day that I’m pathetic and useless and an abnormality

Because I love my husband with every fiber of my being, but everywhere I turn I’m told I really don’t, because love = sex

I need A to stand for Asexual because nobody ever talked to me about asexuality even when I was an outpatient at the women’s hospital for 18 months, and everyone told me desire would come in time

I need A to stand for Asexual because we are literally invisible, and so unimportant that people assume we don’t even need representation, because everyone assumes our lives must be bland and unimportant and lacking in challenges or bigotry

For every asexual that wants a relationship, for every asexual that does not want a relationship, for every asexual who has not yet come to terms with their identity, for every asexual who was told we were abnormalities, for every asexual who was told we just weren’t doing sex right, that we needed a good fucking, that we needed to be drunk, that we needed to relax, that we needed to be raped

We need representation, and we need visibility

‘A’ will never and should never stand for ally

It for Asexual, Aromantic, Agender, and any other identity that starts with A.

It doesnt matter how much experience,knowledge,education and degrees someone has on genders and sexuality.It doesnt matter weather they themselves belong / used to identify as your sexuality/gender till “they realized better”.It doesnt matter how much “queer clout” or influence they have over lgbtqa people.

They havent spent hours and days and months thinking over and examining every aspect of your identity and experiences to decide what sexuality and/or gender they belong to, YOU HAVE.They havent lived your experiences and your life,YOU HAVE.They dont know how you feel when you interact with other people and your own body and self YOU DO.And THOSE are the most important things need to be known to determine one’s sexuality and gender which they dont know but YOU DO.

Yes, it doesnt hurt to get knowledge and opinions of other lgbtqa “experts” or elders to help you guide through your identity exploration but at the end of the day its YOU who needs to find a label which suits and comforts YOU.

And another pride mermaid!

Other pride flag inspired mermaids:

Aromantic flag 

That’s 1972

29 years before AVEN was started online,

and 47 years before the present.

And that’s only the date that Manifesto was written, so asexuals as members of a community must have existed at least some time before that.

aspec chevron flag edits! 

alloaro / alloace