CarcinoGENeticist

actually everytime i have this thought pattern i remember when he said “yeah i manipulated you once” just for funsies. and then the time he got mad bc i said one thing about the Franco brothers and told me it was different for him when he did it, because he would never meet these women. i also remember the crippling pornography addiction, the times i would have proof he did something, and show him and he would lie to my face and say i was the one doing X,Y,Z the way he’d keep me awake when we were arguing, the time he yelled at me while i was coming down off of acid bc i didn’t check on him upstairs while he was sober and doing nothing. the way he’d let me cry, the way he would always lie to people about stupid things and thought i didn’t notice. the way he looked at my tumblr and saw posts about how i quite literally wanted to die, and got mad about a selfie i posted. the way he’d look at girls but never look at me. when he said “i love you but i don’t like you” and now i think that’s how everyone feels about me. how he damaged me in a way not even the men who sexually assaulted me when i was younger couldn’t even do. and every time i remember