we're gonna need a bigger boat

‘don’t you want your favourite character to be happy???’ no? i want my favourite character to be interesting. i want me to be happy. which sometimes involves my favourite character being in exquisite agony

i forgot how fucking weird november is theres no afternoon its just night after 2pm

when it rains you simply do not get a day

northern hemisphere people, are you okay??

northern hemisphere person here!! no

don’t piss me off december

There’s a spider in the corner of your window. Her name is Astrid. She’s saved you from contracting West Nile Virus in your sleep at least twice and is very proud of that fact. She knows this because those mosquitos taste a lil spicy.

watching buffy makes me feel like i'm darwin on the galápagos islands but for pop culture vampires. like obviously louis & lestat are the first (popular) iterations of the modern vampire but angel & spike are the crucial evolutionary step between them and every other sexy vampire that came into existence in the 2000s. for example it's hard to see much of louis in edward but then when you realise it went louis -> angel -> edward it all makes so much sense you forget 9/11 even had anything to do with it at all

hang on i need to review my entire post history from all time and make sure i haven't said anything embarrassing

awful news guys

#saruman's big artificials vs. gandalf's big naturals

they dont tell you this but like half of adulthood is just washing the same FUCKING pan

WASHING THE FUCKING PAN AGAIN!!!!!