Just a system that shitposts

For us, it's like everything suddenly comes into focus. Like regaining mental alertness. It is a bit like dream mechanics in the sense that we're aware of what we're doing and where we are, and it makes sense, but then we realize we don't know how long we've been doing it or what we were doing before.

It all feels a lot more vague and hard to identify as amnesia than the hard and fast experience of blackouts people think of when they hear "DID" and "losing time."

Often, we don't realize a chunk of time was missing at all until we look at the clock and find that far more time has passed than we can account for. Or someone else mentions something and we have no idea what they're talking about. On our own, we wouldn't even notice. Amnesia can hide itself so well that you never really understand how pervasive it is until you turn your full attention to it.

Okay to reblog!

[text: this system has fictives afraid of being 'like their source.']

Formed from medical trauma

Formed from abuse trauma

Formed from a traumatic accident

Remember all of their trauma

Remember none of them trauma

Are professionally or medically diagnosed

Are self diagnosed

Have supportive friends and family

Have no friends or family

Have told their friends and family about their OSDDID

Haven’t told anyone about their OSDDID

Are struggling in school/at work

Are thriving in school/at work

Are unable to go to school/work

Please remember that with representation of a disorder often comes an uptick in diagnoses of the disorder. We may very well be seeing more people learning they have DID in the future thanks to increased awareness of what it's like! This has happened before in our community with media such as with Sybil, and we-I wouldn't be surprised if it happened again. With Moon Knight's representation of DID, especially from a large and widely beloved franchise such as Marvel, it's likely that DID as a whole will become more well known in a more positive light, leading to more psychiatrists and psychologists willing to diagnose their patients with it, as well as more people who may come to learn that they might have DID (and not to mention people who might have been previously diagnosed with DID who come out about having it due to positive representation making it safer for them to do so).

Please do not be surprised if more people come forward about having DID following the release and continuation of Moon Knight. Despite what might be your gut instinct, they're likely not "claiming to have it as part of a fad due to the show," but rather, were only recently diagnosed or felt safe enough to come out due to Moon Knight's influence. And that's a good thing! More people will be able to learn important things about themselves or share important things with those they care about.

That was only 15 minutes ago?

What was I doing 15 minutes ago??

I thought i sent that text an hour ago but also it feels like it was just 10 seconds ago

I don't remember sending that anymore

What did it even say? What was I responding to?

• systems that are self diagnosed

• systems that wants a diagnosis

• systems that don’t want a diagnosis

• systems that can’t get a diagnosis

I'm tired of watching people romanticize being a system. That's what this post was originally going to be about. But then I realized it wasn't necessarily being a system that's romanticized, but having alters. So many singlets say "It would be fun to have friends in your head" and endogenic systems often only claim to experience the alters, but never the bad parts of them. Taking the traumagenic-endogenic debate out of it, alters still shouldn't be something someone /wants./ Being an alter isn't fun and games. It's traumatizing. Painful. Anxiety-inducing. Lonely. Not just when we're alone, just as us in the outerworld. But innerworld and within the system too.

Being an alter isn't always having friends in your head. It's also:

- Feeling ashamed that you couldn't handle the trauma. That you weren't strong enough to deal and cope on your own. Feeling bad that you had to have someone else help you that came from /you/ because no one else would. It's the feeling of not being good enough on your own. That you /needed/ someone else.

- Lonely as hell. Some systems have better communication, yes. But others don't. We have days to months to years of no internal communication. Sometimes no external, either. Specifically before discovering you're a system, because why would you leave notes or something if you don't think you need them? It's feeling alone, even if you aren't. It's not hearing others so you start to doubt. It's having no one there, or having them show up out of no where for seemingly no reason.

- Switching. Having amnesic barriers between switches. Not knowing if you'll ever come back to front. Not knowing what they're doing, not being able to stop what they're doing. Having to watch as they take control of your life. Not knowing when you'll come back. Not being sure if you really exist or not.

- Your life not being yours. It's all of yours. Not just one alter's, but everyone in the body's. You have little room to grow your own life out of the one previous hosts' or sometimes just the host has. It's pre-determined. It's something I just assumed. I didn't get a choice in it.

- Being unstable. Alters have different ideas of what they want to do as a career or what to study. We have different appearances and ways of dressing. We have different emotional ranges. Different medication responses. Different allergies. You know how hard it is to plan as a singlet? It's a lot harder as a system because you can't plan for triggers or switches. You can't always know who's going to front and when. I don't know if I'm going to exist as /me/ tomorrow, or in a few hours. I just don't know and it's so hard to imagine a future when you can't plan it. Sometimes, we don't even know who we are. We're a blur of different alters.