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I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

hey, tag this with a food people get really upset about you not liking

tbh, sometimes the “platonic explanation for this” is the more interesting one

#'it's actually weirder that you don't want to fuck each other' is my default favorite relationship dynamic. via @crimeronan

it goes without saying that i am hopelessly thankful for transsexuals

i owe my life in all seriousness to the trans people that did it before i even had words for what i am

you want to be mommy’s adjective noun, don’t you, pet name? you want to verb and verb for mommy like a good gender

to be cringe is to be free. unmmm my cringe. your cringe really goes against the general consensus of the in-group. sorry

guess who's TOO FAT FOR DENTAL SURGERY

it's their anesthesiologists' policy and it's so fucking stupid because I have been under anesthesia before AT THIS WEIGHT with no adverse outcome so they are truly just saying "we are not very good anesthesiologists"

Babe are you okay? You reblogged mｋ's Lovebirds (おしどり百合夫婦)

This is still so charming!

for 87 years that girl did Not Stop Talking and that is Why Her Wife Loved Her

[Writing youtuber voice]: Your world map is actually dogshit because [protracted infodump about geology and climate systems, none of which is correct.] As a consequence, you need to move everything around in a way that completely breaks the story's pacing and actively undermines the themes.

[Writing youtuber voice] The most important thing you could possibly spend time on when writing fantasy is this piece of realism that literally no successful fantasy story has ever bothered with

[Writing youtuber voice] if you so much as think about a theme or plot structure or character dynamic instead of developing the economy of a continent the story never even touches, I am going to personally curse your entire bloodline

so many people ive known have pushed themselves to burnout trying to deny their disabled reality, skipping accommodations, skipping rests etc. and the world convinces them that the solution to their burnout is to push even harder. it’s a huge tragedy. i know social pressures make it tough but i want more disabled people to make things easier for themselves where possible, to opt out of things that harm them when possible, to quit while they’re ahead. be that person today! protect yourself where you can! take micro breaks while doing your hobby. get that shower chair. sit to brush your teeth. lie down in the middle of the day, even if only for 5 mins. these things add up and it’s so worth it.

happy disability pride month! ACCOMMODATE YOURSELF TODAY!